Under no circumstances would I ever wish for something so repulsive and harmful as existence, I will always see existence as completely undesirable in every way possible but it's also evil as it's the source of all suffering and I don't wish to suffer in any way, I simply wish to permanently not exist.
To me existence itself truly is such a horrific tragedy that causes nothing but unnecessary problems, so much harm and senseless cruelty, all I see as beautiful is the permanent release from the abomination that is existence. I have no interest in the futile and torturous burden of existing as a human where one is slowly dying and waiting to die with no limit as to how much they can suffer in an existence that was completely unappealing in the first place. All that comforts me is death, I'd always see it as better that existence permanently disappears into nothingness as there are no disadvantages to the peace of an dreamless and eternal sleep.
