What would make you not want to commit suicide?

[Thisisme373]

A time machine with the knowledge I have now.
I swear dear G-d, I would do everything right this time

I feel that. I think about it often. I've made such a fucking mess of my life. I'd love to be able to go back in time with everything I know now

 

[epic]

If we could remove people's illness , 99% of people in this forum would want to live.

 

[Sadgirldaisy]

A better brain

 

[Anon1337]

Winning millions. Money is freedom unfortunately.

 

[firesteak]

Being born to a different family. My mother was suicidal growing up all us kids new this from a young age. She ctb in 2016. My father left and never played part in our lives. He new she wasnt mentally stable. Left us with her anyway.

A loving wife. Im in a loveless marriage with kids. Kids are the only reason im still here. I hide my illness from them so i don't pass it on.

This is my first post. I hope I didn't mess it up.

 

[Enemy of Evolution]

Money lots of money.

 

[Szinuus]

Time machine or cure for neuropathy

 

[Heartbroken2022]

Having my girlfriend back (I cannot call her ex, sorry). Being able to change all the shit I did and destroyed our relationship. Feeling that she still loves me, as she did few weeks ago.

I give a shit on money, job etc. Only love matters.

 

[Lavender Dreams]

Similar sentiment to others, a time machine or a way of communicating with my past self... If not that, then as cringy as it sounds - the knowledge that my favourite wouldn't leave me. Having the right people close when I need them could make the suffering more bearable, maybe even offset the trauma with time. It's all wishful thinking though.

 

[Jarni]

Having my girlfriend back (I cannot call her ex, sorry). Being able to change all the shit I did and destroyed our relationship. Feeling that she still loves me, as she did few weeks ago.

I give a shit on money, job etc. Only love matters.

I understand you very well... For me too only love matters.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Being a young attractive cis woman (since me being dysphoric is the key to my depression).

 

[The Final Solution]

Winning inordinate, obscene amounts of money with no actual effort on my part.

I should start playing the lottery more often...

 

[Ultracheese]

Having my best friend back again.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Already not being alive.

 

[molassesmorasses]

A solution to chronic mental and physical illness, undoing my trauma that holds me from the life others are capable of, being more in control of how my emotions affect me.

 

[BlackWednesday]

It doesn't matter. Realistically, I can't think of anything that could come along and change my mind.

 

[Wannagonow]

Maybe not being mentally ill would help. My drive to go is so intense, that might not do it though. I dunno.

 

[tinkatonshammer]

i suffer from an unknown autoimmune condition that has caused me a lot of physical and mental trauma. i think even just getting a proper diagnosis would dissuade me from wanting to CTB, but ideally being completely healthy would obviously do too

 

[escaped]

Cure of my mental illness

 

[Samsara]

Physically being with the person I want to share my life with and minimal stress, especially financial stress.

 

[Sparx]

My mum coming back to life.

 

[Monkeyman]

I'm not sure. Even when I had things I supposedly wanted, I still felt somewhat empty.

 

[throwawayyy]

Meds

 

[liana]

For the first time in life I can't picture what could.

 

[LastFlowers]

Saw this in other comments but of course
-A time machine
&
-A face (and to a lesser extent, body) that I am able to be comfortable with and thrive in, one which will not bring me abuse or "less than" status from so many people, etc.

Beyond that, I only wanted to be able to be free enough in myself and my flesh to pursue some dreams, or even one dream..passion, what have you.
And to have the people I grew up with love me, support me and have interest in me as a human being..as much as they prioritize others.


Even so, I would likely not be one to celebrate life or perpetuate it by rolling the dice on more people.
I'd like to still air my criticisms and grievances about the type of torture I endured and others still would be.
You also never know what could happen in the future, another unsurvivable tragedy..etc,
but I'm of the mind that even some other things that would lead to suicide, are still preferable and less painful than the ones I live with now.
Some journeys to suicide are less palatable than others, more humiliating, with not an ounce of yourself or your mark to leave behind..besides pure misery and misinterpretation, maybe even demonization.
So as long as my main gripes were taken care of, it would be alright with me if one day I may want to end things early for another reason…
I would still be fucking relieved and over the moon that my worst and most shameful, mortifying aspects of torment were gone and that I could squeeze some time in to appreciate that and be free for awhile…do what I need to do.

At this point I would take even a day of not having to live this way, before I die.
But I'm not sure how much I would be able to do in that time frame or if it would be enough to accomplish or be at peace with anything.
Would likely need more time than a single day.

 

[FallFadesIntoWinter]

If someone dropped $150,000 in my lap to go back to school (to study psychology so I could help others), I'd say no to CTB at this point.

 

[CowsAgainstCapitali]

I just want to be reunited with my kids. If I had them in my life I would have a life. Without them there's no point.

 

[LookingforAnswers]

Not being mentally ill

 

[goldengatebridgegal]

Something that would make you want to live. For me, I think it would have to be not being mentally ill.

I ask myself this question every time I start to think seriously about suicide and every time I cant come up with an answer, which makes me want to die more :( I came to this thread to try and be honest with myself about what would make my life worth living and I sat here staring at my fingers, trying to type something...anything. I guess I typed this.

 

[Simurgh]

Not being chronically ill. Being good-looking. Being capable of loving and being loved.