Help What would make things easier for others?

[emptyhead]

I hope this isn't against the rules. I have all sorts of issues which make it difficult to read and understand things so I read the rules, but I'm not able to understand if they cover what I'm about to ask. If it's against the rules then sorry.

I'm just looking for advice on what I could do to make the after effects of me leaving have minimal stress and impact on others. I'm under no illusions that it won't affect people terribly. But what I would like to do is try to minimise the trauma for others. Unfortunately noone will ever answer this question when I ask. Professionals can't and people it would affect don't want to, or get upset.

So does anyone have any thoughts on what would make things easier? Some things I've thought of:

Having to go through and get rid of my stuff after I'm gone will probably be very tough, so maybe I can bag or box up as much of my shit as possible and take it away and dump it. Things like clothes, the various crap that accumulates under my bed and in drawers and on surfaces.

Maybe send money from my bank accounts to people so it doesn't just get taken by our corrupt and callous government.

That's all I can think of. Has anyone any experience of what would make things easier for others left behind in this nightmare place?

Would they get charged for having to recover my body and car from where I'm going to do it?

Is there any legal things I should sort out beforehand that could help, or instructions to leave?

Thanks all

 

[FrankieVallie]

Personally, I might try to make my suicide look like a legitimate accident. I have a method which will make it seem like I accidentally electrocuted myself. My other method is SN. Either way, I'm going to leave a will before I go. I think this will help my family and relatives eventually come to peace with my death and move on.

 

[emptyhead]

Mm. These are good ideas. Unfortunately my method (exit mask with nitrogen) isn't going to allow me to make it look like accident. The good thing is that I can drive off somewhere remote and just do it in my car so at least they won't have to find me.

Would be good to leave a will but unfortunately my mental problems stop me being able to do anything like that. I've tried just tidying my bedroom as best I can. I'm going to transfer money to ppl. And send a delayed email with anything I can think of, which unfortunately isn't much because my brain doesn't work. Oh well.

Thanks for advice tho. I'll use it to try to think what is put in a will and send it in the email

 

[muffin222]

I don't think we really can, sadly

 

[Blue LIPS]

I'd hold off on actually trashing things, if you change your mind... well now you'll be stuck without anything and still alive. I might be able to take some money off your hands though :P

If it were me, I'd be more worried about how the scene will look and try to keep it "PG" if possible and try to get others out of "my" situation that may come to them. Maybe a simple chit chat will give another happiness realizing somebody notices them.

 

[Red]

I know what you mean, and have thought about this often. My plan is to clear out all of the crap from my belongings, really be ruthless and get rid of anything without any worth. Sell things that have value but won't be wanted by anyone. Keep only things that I know other people would want. All monies from sales to hopefully pay for a simple funeral.

There was a couple who ctb in a hotel room and left notes and little envelopes And money for all the people they anticipated having to deal with their demise; the cleaning staff, the manager, etc. I like that idea rather than someone stumbling upon my body - rather a note that says, this is what lies ahead, sorta thing, call the police or whatever.

It's hard to anticipate everything though I guess.

 

[falloutcarter13]

I considered trying to (discretely) get rid of most of my things before I ctb, to spare my grandparents having to do it after I'm gone. But my one friend who knows my plans and supports me pointed out, getting rid of the deceased's things is a natural part of getting closure for many people, and you never know what they may like to keep as a memento of you. Other than the few possessions I have which are actually worth something (those will be left to specific people in my will), I'm just going to let my family have the process of divvying up and disposing of my things.

Wish you the best of luck with making all of your decisions, all you can do is make the best choices at hand. Suicide is messy, even when its not messy lol. All we can do is our best to make is as easy as possible on those we love.

 

[emptyhead]

I'd hold off on actually trashing things, if you change your mind... well now you'll be stuck without anything and still alive. I might be able to take some money off your hands though :P

If it were me, I'd be more worried about how the scene will look and try to keep it "PG" if possible and try to get others out of "my" situation that may come to them. Maybe a simple chit chat will give another happiness realizing somebody notices them.

Yea Ive thought of that cos I've failed many times before so that's what's stopped me doing that this time. The money I transfer will be last thing I do before I put on the mask. Plus it's to ppl that would give it back if I chickened out or failed again. I feel really bad for my ex-wife having to go through my stuff and get rid. I should really take it with me but more chance of getting caught.

Shit, I hate having to be so selfish to do this. But it was selfish of ppl to keep wanting me to stay when I'm so mental it feels like I'm living in a nightmare hell.

I know what you mean, and have thought about this often. My plan is to clear out all of the crap from my belongings, really be ruthless and get rid of anything without any worth. Sell things that have value but won't be wanted by anyone. Keep only things that I know other people would want. All monies from sales to hopefully pay for a simple funeral.

There was a couple who ctb in a hotel room and left notes and little envelopes And money for all the people they anticipated having to deal with their demise; the cleaning staff, the manager, etc. I like that idea rather than someone stumbling upon my body - rather a note that says, this is what lies ahead, sorta thing, call the police or whatever.

It's hard to anticipate everything though I guess.

That sounds really nice. I'd love to be able to be this organised. It will be police who find me and hopefully they'll be used to it. Plus it should be a peaceful enough scene. The only bad thing will be shitting myself once I'm dead. Pretty undignified

Ah well. Think I have to just not think about how shitty it's going to be for those around me.

Thanks everyone. Hope u all end up where u want to be

 

[falloutcarter13]

That sounds really nice. I'd love to be able to be this organised. It will be police who find me and hopefully they'll be used to it. Plus it should be a peaceful enough scene. The only bad thing will be shitting myself once I'm dead. Pretty undignified

I've thought of both of these things as well. Police and first responders are generally really desensitized to death, its in their job description to deal with it. So that's as good as it gets, unless you were to find a way where no one would ever find you at all (although this gets into the whole "closure for family when there's no body" thing...personally, I would feel far worse knowing my family would be waiting for me to walk through the door years later simply because they didn't know my fate.) As to shitting yourself, that's always bothered me too...it doesn't look like that's likely to happen with my chosen method (SN), but I may wear an adult diaper anyway just to spare the coroner having to clean up.

 

[Meditation guide]

Has anyone any experience of what would make things easier for others left behind

If you can make arrangements and pay in advance for what happens to your corpse it would be a blessing. Have that all taken care of. And make sure your pets are going to good homes! Don't leave them without someone to take care of them please.

I had a room mate die and had to find a home for his wonderful dog. It was difficult.

 

[Blue LIPS]

Yea Ive thought of that cos I've failed many times before so that's what's stopped me doing that this time. The money I transfer will be last thing I do before I put on the mask. Plus it's to ppl that would give it back if I chickened out or failed again. I feel really bad for my ex-wife having to go through my stuff and get rid. I should really take it with me but more chance of getting caught.

Shit, I hate having to be so selfish to do this. But it was selfish of ppl to keep wanting me to stay when I'm so mental it feels like I'm living in a nightmare hell.



That sounds really nice. I'd love to be able to be this organised. It will be police who find me and hopefully they'll be used to it. Plus it should be a peaceful enough scene. The only bad thing will be shitting myself once I'm dead. Pretty undignified

Ah well. Think I have to just not think about how shitty it's going to be for those around me.

Thanks everyone. Hope u all end up where u want to be

Put things in some friends' names? I believe your ex wife can't touch it after that. For me though, after my dad died, getting his stuff (not me personally, I was 11yrs old) and going through it all was like a "good moment" in a way, bring up happy moments type of thing, reminisce etc. The selfish thing to me is a base of character of someone who has a mundane life and would rather have the "family" size for more of a social thing, handbag accessory, look what I got ooooh! Versus, oh my dad killed himself because people suck and life was cruel for him. "Those" wouldn't want the "stigma" associated because life is perfect and that'll just fuck up "their" mold.

 

[emptyhead]

Thanks for all that.

Tried and failed tonight, but as I missed that post about pets until just now and realised I hadn't actually made plans for my cat, maybe that's for the best.

Looks like nitrogen isn't as fool proof as I thought. Or I'm just an above average fool. Really don't know what went wrong. Gutted now as that was something I was holding onto as a security blanket. You know like, "at least Ive always got that way out". It was really uncomfortable too. It was very much not the peaceful way I'd thought.

Leaving is hard. I thought the hardest bit was actually working up the nerve to do it. But trying to keep that mask on was a battle that I lost. Fuck

 

[falloutcarter13]

Thanks for all that.

Tried and failed tonight, but as I missed that post about pets until just now and realised I hadn't actually made plans for my cat, maybe that's for the best.

Looks like nitrogen isn't as fool proof as I thought. Or I'm just an above average fool. Really don't know what went wrong. Gutted now as that was something I was holding onto as a security blanket. You know like, "at least Ive always got that way out". It was really uncomfortable too. It was very much not the peaceful way I'd thought.

Leaving is hard. I thought the hardest bit was actually working up the nerve to do it. But trying to keep that mask on was a battle that I lost. Fuck

You didn't use a bag? The mask isn't recommended for a reason...

 

[Nymph]

Don't leave debt behind, pay last rent, give out last money, the packing your things part is good or you can donate a lot of stuff or straight up drive the big furniture to those special centers for oversized "trash" (not sure what it's called in English lol) but yeah removing big furniture that might have to be disassembled is quite difficult. This might be a weird one but wear a diaper before you CTB because I heard you can —— yourself when you're decomposing and stuff (not sure how long it will take till you get found). That's all that I can think of for now...

 

[emptyhead]

You didn't use a bag? The mask isn't recommended for a reason...

Oh what?! Fuck! I have pretty bad comprehension problems and tbh I've really struggled to figure out how to do it. It felt a bit chaotic. I didn't know this.

Going to have to do more research. Shit. I had a bag (just no elastic for it) but thought the mask would be better as it would vent any CO2.

You know, last night when it failed, but I was all dizzy and feeling weird probably from lack of oxygen, I felt I definitely wasn't going to try again. But now I've just woken up and feel shit again and my first thoughts were of trying to end it again.

I really struggled to find up to date information about methods. Is that something I can ask for on here? Links to guides/info?

 

[falloutcarter13]

Oh what?! Fuck! I have pretty bad comprehension problems and tbh I've really struggled to figure out how to do it. It felt a bit chaotic. I didn't know this.

Going to have to do more research. Shit. I had a bag (just no elastic for it) but thought the mask would be better as it would vent any CO2.

You know, last night when it failed, but I was all dizzy and feeling weird probably from lack of oxygen, I felt I definitely wasn't going to try again. But now I've just woken up and feel shit again and my first thoughts were of trying to end it again.

I really struggled to find up to date information about methods. Is that something I can ask for on here? Links to guides/info?

I would look at the section on exit bags/inert gasses in the PPeH. You can find free versions on google that are as recent as Oct 2019. I can't think anything important has been changed about it, other than maybe updated sourcing. It was pretty comprehensive.