Discussion What would it take for you to not want to CTB at all?

[Krash1990]

Title says it all. What would it take for you to not want to CTB at all?

 

[TheGoodGuy]

To be a child again

 

[Lost_the_will2_live]

For animal abuse to stop and this world not to be a sh*t hole!

 

[Mistake of Nature]

Nothing could take away my desire to CTB.

 

[Krash1990]

I'd need a time machine and something to wipe my memory once I acceptably changed the future.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

. To move out of home into supported living
. To be able to leave my toxic family
. To find the best support for my Autism
. For therapy to work and help me deal with all my mental health problems
. To be able to live life the way I want and get my to do list done
. To be able to be myself without the fear of others bullying me
But these are all unrealistic unfortunately.

 

[Krash1990]

. To move out of home into supported living
. To be able to leave my toxic family
. To find the best support for my Autism
. For therapy to work and help me deal with all my mental health problems
. To be able to live life the way I want and get my to do list done
. To be able to be myself without the fear of others bullying me
But these are all unrealistic unfortunately.

Have you ever heard of FMT? I've seen stories of people "curing" autism with it. I'm not advocating because I don't know, but it might be something to look into.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

Have you ever heard of FMT? I've seen stories of people "curing" autism with it. I'm not advocating because I don't know, but it might be something to look into.

It's impossible to cure Autism as it's a different wiring of the brain so unless they smash my brains, Autism can't be cured.

 

[madbananas]

To be listened to and heard by people in my life regarding my feelings.
To be un-ghosted by people.

 

[Polly]

A decent job

 

[Krash1990]

A decent job

Have you ever considered starting your own business?
That's what I did and it was a life saver for the longest.

To be listened to and heard by people in my life regarding my feelings.
To be un-ghosted by people.

That's a problem solved by finding the right people. Those not listening and hearing you or ghosting you aren't worth your time!
You deserve the best and shouldn't accept anything less:)

 

[SpottedPanda]

For me it'd have to be, and could only really be, winning anything upwards of five million on the lottery. I'd just like to experience first hand being wealthy, but even then, it might only be a temporary measure, as things settled into a norm

 

[madbananas]

Have you ever considered starting your own business?
That's what I did and it was a life saver for the longest.

That's a problem solved by finding the right people. Those not listening and hearing you or ghosting you aren't worth your time!
You deserve the best and shouldn't accept anything less:)

I know but it's really devastating and I'm struggling with letting it go (I really struggle with abandonment and attachment). But I hear what you're saying :)

For me it'd have to be, and could only really be, winning anything upwards of five million on the lottery. I'd just like to experience first hand being wealthy, but even then, it might only be a temporary measure, as things settled into a norm

Oooh if you don't mind me asking, what would you spend the money on? I reckon I'd get a nice house and car.

 

[Erdapfel]

Negative motivation:

• abscents of acceptable suicidemethods.
• the knowlegde that my suffering after death will be higher than my current suffering (e.g. fear of hell).
• becoming too stupid in order to realize that suicide is an option.

Positive motivation:

• permanent well-being in order to prevent even preventive suicide.
• the ability to change the world to the better.
• abscents of even the slightest suffering.
• eternal health.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

a full time income, children back at school, lifeto go back to what it was before this lock down, no masks, no impersonal shit,
For changes to be constant in home life, for my moods to be level,
Fuck the list is endless!

But in reality, I have never seen my self getting to my 40th birthday, I have 18 months to complete this shit, I don't wana grow old! It scares me!

 

[serah]

I'm afraid that even if I had everything I wanted, the constant thoughts of suicide would still be there.

 

[MaybeSoon]

Enough money to move to a little shack hidden far enough from society to live in. Ideally in some woodland or near a lake.

Or a permanent stay in a psychiatric ward.

 

[KibblesNBits]

I'd like to be 18 again. That is all. I know exactly what I would do.

 

[ghostgirl1995]

I'd need a time machine and something to wipe my memory once I acceptably changed the future.

I said this exact line to my psychiatrist after a few drinks... now I'm in the psychward. I just wanted ect therapy to zap my brain out!!

 

[HappyMstake]

For me a just a few things that come to mind.

- If social media never existed. Because as long as it's still around I'm gonna be on it, and hate my life even more.
- Like someone said before if I could go back in time when I was a kid and didn't have any responsibilities, and stay that way.
- If an attempted suicide was punishable by incarceration might keep me from CTB but I would still want CTB.

 

[Sod123]

To have never been born!

 

[emie_]

To go back in time and stop what ruined my life.

Or more concretely, be able to live a normal, functional, somewhat happy life without having to go through panic attacks, nightmares, dissociation, severe depression, anxiety, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts and all of that good stuff every single day.

 

[Acerakis]

To be able to actually connect with people.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Not getting abused the fuck into space as a child
No debilitating helath conditions that make me want to never wake up again
My family not being hurtless, toxic and ridiculous as fuck about everything

 

[SpottedPanda]

Oooh if you don't mind me asking, what would you spend the money on? I reckon I'd get a nice house and car.

I don't mind at all. I don't drive, and wouldn't bother learning, so no car for me, but I'd probably spend a million on a house. I'd give a million away to my mother, and with the rest I'd simply eat the best foods, have the best furniture and have a cleaner, gardener.

My life probably wouldn't change dramatically. I'd just be in a super environment, with no money or insecurity in my lifestyle issues.

I think just the act of having retire now money would amplify my sense of security, and be quite calming.

 

[Krash1990]

To go back in time and stop what ruined my life.

Or more concretely, be able to live a normal, functional, somewhat happy life without having to go through panic attacks, nightmares, dissociation, severe depression, anxiety, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts and all of that good stuff every single day.

Similar boat ride as me:/

 

[StuckAF]

Success after trying a working version of conversion therapy. This will do it

 

[Doormat]

If I thought someone could love me

 

[ghostgirl1995]

To go back in time and stop what ruined my life.

Or more concretely, be able to live a normal, functional, somewhat happy life without having to go through panic attacks, nightmares, dissociation, severe depression, anxiety, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts and all of that good stuff every single day.

Me too! I've embarrassed myself beyond believe with my symptoms

 

[emie_]

Me too! I've embarrassed myself beyond believe with my symptoms

Ugh I'm sorry :(
I haven't gotten to the point of publicly embarrassing myself as of yet (except sometimes crying in public for no reason), mainly because I've been avoiding going out for that exact reason. I sometimes get intensively worried about getting a panic attack or something of that sort in public that I completely just avoid going out. It really sucks.