WHAT WOULD CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT CTB?

[MrDarkness]

Either someone that can genuinely relate to me and love me, or for my mind to stop haunting me

 

[Unattainable666]

If I made friends that cared about me. But it's too late now.

I was even going to ctb last week but I started chatting with a guy online believing it could be the start of a new relationship (romantic or not). Turns out he only wanted sex and stoped talking to me after that.

Now I'm back to where I am, with absolute zero friends. Literally the only place I've been talking to people has been here.

I understand the same thing happened to me, but he turned out to be a narc ... There are some really good people on this site who are lonely too and would probably love to have a friend to talk to

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Going back in time and being born female.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that as well. It's as if some "force" above sends us the people we long for only to not be loved back by them and then that "force" is having a lot of fun watching it. At least that's how it feels like to me.
Idk what's more soul crushing for me tho, that we actually tried to see and build relationships (we met up for 2 weeks, we live pretty far away from each other) which didn't work or the reasons he gave me (they are really nasty, very opposite of what he was saying irl).

I do not know you, yet I love you, because we are both going through the same agony of soul together.
Only broken people such as ourselves can truly understand the soul-crushing and heart snapping despair of unrequited and disappointed love.
I am going to die soon because my soul has been destroyed by lack of love in this dreadful world.
I would love to take you into my arms and tell you that I care and that I understand your pain, yet this can never be so because of physical boundaries.
Maybe we have a soul and we can be free from this pain forever.
I hope to meet you in the next life if this is true.
Together we can fly free and escape to a very different, yet beautiful reality.

Beautifully stated. Thank you. I understand.

I love you, because you understand this too.

 

[StaticCryBabye]

Money. Either way, I'd probably still use it to aid in my painless death.

 

[MusicGuy]

If only the person I love felt the same feelings as I do when I think of her. Unrequited love is one of the worst parts of life, especially when you truly love her.

 

[FailerQt.]

I do not know you, yet I love you, because we are both going through the same agony of soul together.
Only broken people such as ourselves can truly understand the soul-crushing and heart snapping despair of unrequited and disappointed love.
I am going to die soon because my soul has been destroyed by lack of love in this dreadful world.
I would love to take you into my arms and tell you that I care and that I understand your pain, yet this can never be so because of physical boundaries.
Maybe we have a soul and we can be free from this pain forever.
I hope to meet you in the next life if this is true.
Together we can fly free and escape to a very different, yet beautiful reality.

I love you, because you understand this too.

Thank you so much, it's actually 1st time someone finally understands and doesn't just tell me to move on.
Whatever and whenever you decide to go, I wish you a peaceful journey. Hopefully, I'll be able to follow by the end of this year at latest.
And yeah, IF there is something after death, I hope we can meet there as well.

 

[ruru_241]

to be with the person just for me, in real life and romantically.. ; ;
it's heart-wrenching not being by his side in real life, and my bpd makes it much, much worse.
i would do anything to just hold his hand for 5 seconds

 

[Strawberry_Clouds]

Connection to others, and being able to live without the crushing weight of expectation

 

[Unattainable666]

Connection to others, and being able to live without the crushing weight of expectation

Love your name

 

[SpiderLink]

I've often thought about this. What would cause me to change my mind about ctb? If there were someone in my life who understood me and cared about me, I think I would change my mind - or at least make me thing twice.

healing, and also more empathy towards me and people not throwing cliches and toxic positivity

 

[S u i c i d e]

Nothing.

 

[gottablast888]

Nothing. There is nothing i want here on earth

 

[leloyon]

Nothing.
The changes that would have to be made for it to not be an option are so severe that it would be a complete change to my entire existence. I couldn't not be suicidal as the person I currently am. The place I was born, the time I was born in, the person I was born as, the family I was born to, all would have to change.

 

[Strawberry_Clouds]

Love your name

ty ^w^

 

[mind3de]

I just want to have a good (mental) health. But my health is a mess. :/

 

[soft-flower345]

Realistically, falling in love is the only thing that has the potential to save me now. I still want to die in a lovers suicide eventually though, I dream of that.

Unrealistically? If I went to bed and woke up with no gender dysphoria, in a cis womans body and never had to feel it again, I'd probably want to live.

 

[ghost44]

Nothing.

 

[The anhedonic one]

to be with the person just for me, in real life and romantically.. ; ;
it's heart-wrenching not being by his side in real life, and my bpd makes it much, much worse.
i would do anything to just hold his hand for 5 seconds

I am going to die soon because of unrequited love.
I have bipolar type 1 and borderline personality disorder, so therefore my feelings of unrequited love are amplified to screaming point.
I know my soul has been crushed and that my heart has snapped in two because I have stopped eating and just lie down all day and either sleep or just stare into space.

I feel as though I have already died inside and I can't stop crying.
Uncontrollable sobbing and absolute despair are the only things that I feel now..

The girl that I love shall surely kill me.
I have no doubt about this whatsoever.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Unrealistically? If I went to bed and woke up with no gender dysphoria, in a cis womans body and never had to feel it again, I'd probably want to live.

Yeah, those women and their cis privilege :/

 

[Klophy]

Nothing that's really realistic.

A crap ton of money, so much so that i'd never have to work, a past free from abuse... No mental health issues (Depression, eating disorders, BDD, etc etc) Actual meaningful connections with other people. A few other things but don't want the list to get too long.

To sum it up, I'd have to be a completely different person.

 

[Ai-chan]

Being born from a different set of parents

 

[PinkyStat]

If i woke up and someone told me that i dont have to do nothing anymore, but to be honest i am not sure if that would help, it is just the only thing that i can think about

 

[iloveloving]

Love

 

[LuxVan]

Finding true love, and forming a successful committed relationship with whoever he may be. Someone who truly understands me, who I really click with, who I feel fulfilled with that feels fulfilled with me.

Waking up in bed with him every morning. :,)

Also, no longer aging. Completely unrelated to the love thing. Part of my thing is I don't want to grow old. :) Ideally I could be a kid and relive my childhood but positively, but I'd at least feel better if I looked how I do forever.

But the main reasons are the first, how severe my mental illness is (depression & two personality disorders for example) and how difficult it is to deal with my trauma.

Also would like discrimination against autistics to go away, that's been unbearable...

 

[soontofindpeace]

The only thing that can change my mind is me. Quite frankly, from an outsider's perspective, my life is fine. I make good money. I've had plenty of romantic relationships. I have people who care for me and love me. I have a great future ahead. Despite all this, none of that plays in a role in my decision making. I've been depressed for over half my life & my condition hasn't improved despite multiple hospitalizations, therapy or medication.

My entire life I've been listening to others and trying to see why life is worth living. I'm a terrible person. A liar. A cheater. I'm reckless. And quite frankly, I wish I could undo it but I can't. I don't want to live with the damage that I caused. A bad person doesn't deserve a good life albeit it happens cause ya know... life isn't fair. In my case, the guilt haunts me and this has been mostly my doing. To me, CTB is a way for me to take accountability & make amends in some form. If I keep living, I don't think I'll change. I'm not strong enough to change my ways. I just don't want to add anymore bad into this fucked up world. Anyhow, yeah, there's a 99.9% chance I'm not changing my mind. The point 0.1% left is if some miracle were to happen but it's extremely improbable to happen within the next two weeks. Oh well.

 

[divinemistress36]

Having a healthy brain

 

[Plentiful_Despair]

If I could actually feel normal emotions, which means never cause I'm born broken

 

[Surai]

If I had found peace or at least no wall of consistent pain

 

[Reflection]

The only thing that'll take away all the pain is if my former girlfriend reconciles with me.