Discussion What will you do after drinking SN?

[Kozu]

Let's say you have between 15 to 25 minutes, what are you going to do?
Will you be waiting and doing nothing? I'm scared that this would trigger SI.

I'm thinking of laying down on my bed and playing some anime episode. I'll hear their voices until I'm out. That's a cool exit.
SN is uncomfortable so the point would be to try to focus on something else.

 

[mtoro998]

Ill curl up in my bed and have ocean sounds playing on YouTube.

 

[Ardere]

I hear Blues Music from YouTube.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Get knocked out from benzos (xanax) so I don't have to wait

 

[dggtscccvfd]

Assuming I'm not constantly vomiting, I'll curl up in bed with the thoughts of an end to my suffering at the top of my mind.

 

[Agon321]

I'm going to lie down and focus on my insides so I don't vomit. And then there is only eternal glory in the afterlife... or damnation. Either way, I probably won't be bored

Sorry, I'm becoming less and less able to keep a straight face. The specter of impending death causes me extreme emotions

 

[st4r53t]

i am going to lay down on my side and turn on my favorite prepared playlist.
Music calms me down at times like this.

 

[LifeIsCrazyNemb]

i am going to lay down on my side and turn on my favorite prepared playlist.
Music calms me down at times like this.

Equally, the 20 minutes prior to taking the SN or N will be challenging as well.

 

[TimeTrigger48]

Listen to music or watch Girls (the HBO show)

 

[tbroken]

Probably go a bit crazy, talk to myself and remind myself that I'm gonna finally die and that I probably never should've existed in the first place so it's just righting a wrong. Also remind myself that nothing can save me and whatever happens to just die die die.

I feel you my friend.
It will be a liberation for me also.
I made so much efforts to change my life, faced the impossible and jfc I'm back at the mf starting point. I paid a lot for others mistake, all my life, thought it would make me stronger and that I could be even better thanks to the pain. I was wrong, i was freaking wrong

 

[MyLifeisHell]

Hopefully fookin' die

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Hopefully fookin' die

Yeah, hopefully that.

 

[dinosavr]

I'll definitely have Friends playing in the background, it's my comfort tv show so it may help me to calm down and act like everything is normal lol. Other than that probably talking to myself, punching myself for as long as possible, pulling my hair out or some other auto aggressive shit that I usually do when I feel too emotional

 

[SevenDayWeekend]

Lay back and listen to some music or watch something on TV, something long and relaxing I know I will like so I can be in the best place mentally as possible as I drift off.

Honestly all this sounds too good to be true. I guess that's why it's so difficult to get. Most suicide is violent and painful, so the price you pay for a better way out is the difficulty in acquiring it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Probably have rain sounds or something on in the background. Lie on my side, cuddle my hot water bottle for comfort, concentrate on my breathing and try not to panic. I'll maybe look at pictures of my (deceased) family on the wall.

 

[Endisclose]

Get knocked out from benzos (xanax) so I don't have to wait

Me too. How much do you plan to take?

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Me too. How much do you plan to take?

About 3mg, 1mg is already pretty good for me.

 

[_Minsk]

Probably just lay somewhere, listening to music, hoping it to be gentle

 

[Endisclose]

About 3mg, 1mg is already pretty good for me.

Just 3 mg? Do you plan to take it in advance? If so may I know by how long?

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Just 3 mg? Do you plan to take it in advance? If so may I know by how long?

You're really that curious?

 

[xmissellax]

I plan to lie on my right side, slightly elevated in bed, have my headphones in with a specially curated playlist of music, which I time to stop playing after 2 hours. I've bought a cute sheep plushie to cuddle. I'll have my heat pad on my belly, and a lot of cardboard sick bowls.

I have a children's book with really beautiful drawings I might look at during those first few minutes to distract my mind.

I'll probably cry. At how sad it is I've had to do this and also that this release is all I've ever wanted for so long of my life and it's finally happening. I'll be scared. I might scrunch my eyes up tightly to help me endure whatever comes. The worst part is not knowing what will happen when you fall unconscious, if you succeeded. If you do succeed, you'll never know, and if you don't, you'll wake up soon in a hospital. I'll be praying and praying I don't wake up until I can't think straight anymore.

My worst fears at the moment is making sure the SN I've acquired is legit and pure. I've bought from two sources and I've no idea which one to use. One is MDS. I know there have been a lot of studies etc on mds but then there are posts of people saying they've been scammed by them(??), and I haven't actually seen any posts of people successfully CTB'ing with MDS. With my other source, apparently one user did successfully CTB with this source (supposedly), but other than that I don't have any information on it. So I'm a bit of an anxious wreck atm.

 

[Endisclose]

Just 3 mg? Do you plan to take it in advance? If so may I know by how long?

I was planning to take mine right after the SN as recommended in the pph...more like 7.5 mg. Just wanted to know what the optimum dosage, time in relation to SN would be to evade the unpleasant effects. Pardon me if you found my questions intrusive or made you uncomfortable. Please be at ease.

 

[Mayonaise]

I can't be sure what state of mind I'll be into when the time comes, but I'm planning to have a playlist of my favorite songs and some comfort items such as a birthday letter from a significant other and maybe some of my childhood's toys. The latter may make me feel utterly sad though so I'm not sure about it.
I won't be able to keep myself from thinking about my parents and I still don't know how I'll feel about that - probably sad and guilty as fuck - so I'll probably try to refrain from looking at their pictures. Might want to look at holiday pictures though.
Finally, I'm planning to bring with me loads of empty medicine boxes so as to trick eventual first responders into believing I OD'd on those

 

[uzuf86]

Maybe I could train my mind in advance. I will keep a list of everything I need to tell myself after taking it, in order to stay strong and not panic, because panic causes throwing up and more "health" issues at that time.