Discussion What went wrong and when?

[Fadeawaaaay]

Can you pinpoint when your doom was fated?

 

[come to dust]

Around age 18, when I caught an uncurable chronic illness. But life, socially and mentally, was hell since age 11.

 

[Shu]

September 29th 2021 the day ammit devoured my heart

 

[LookingforAnswers]

Last year around July 2021

 

[TrynaChingMyself]

Somewhere around age 4/5

 

[Capsaicin78]

Father was an abusive alcoholic. Mother a woman without a soul. Life was basically doomed since the day I was born.

 

[Dead Meat]

At 9 years old when I got a chronic illness that's the age my life truly was DOOMED, my own mother left me because I got sick,why couldn't I have just died instead of this misery

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Hard to tell, things add up over time. Autism at birth, then probably developed some kind of severe psychological problems during childhood. Too much internet, gaming and porn from early age, as well. Still, things seemed to be ok-ish until around 16/17 when I became apathetic and passively suicidal. And after that it's been really shitty. Frequent suicidality, acting out in horrible ways, taking medication that seems to have made things worse, getting tricked into believing stupid things online, bent my penis jerking off, impulsive spending, hatred, hours upon hours of crying and writhing in emotional agony, rejection on dating apps, embarrassing myself over and over in many contexts, consequences of really impulsive/embarrassing/hateful stuff still hanging over my head to this day, failing at jobs and educations without exception, you name it.

Very recently I've at least started to get my humanity back, (less hatred, more able to not be blinded as much by my own pain, in touch with my morality more). Also getting somewhat better at coping with this situation (basically impossible to get anywhere I would ever have perceived as good, in any major area of life). When I get drunk, or just don't think, I still may automatically start blaming other people and stuff like that, guess I have to more or less constantly monitor myself and be more serious with that. Should also just not drink. Still, haven't gotten anywhere near as bad as a couple of years ago any time after that, and I think stopping the medication might have been a big part of that.

I see it as extremely unlikely for me to ever have a life that I'd consider worth living. But since I don't have it that bad now, I can wait a bit to see if something miraculous happens and for the family to have to live fewer years post-suicide. Hope they wouldn't be devastated like all those people in the documentaries/interviews, but I think it's very likely for them to be affected in an awful way. Would also like to be more certain of not ending up in a hell or whatever.

 

[MicropBaldCurrycel]

when my mom died in 2013.

my brother and his wife moved in with my dad and i saying "they coming to look after you both"

they then conned my dad into selling the house and promised to help him and build me an outhouse.

they never helped, and they only built a place for his wife's mom and brother.

life never been the same since as i keep moving to shabby apartments.

 

[Darkover]

My life was mentally destroyed when i was 18 years old due to a series of events first being a relationship breakdown, going to jail for a crime I didn't commit, in jail they found i had 22 cavities in my teeth, a broken left shoulder dislocates, paranoid schizophrenia, all of them was at 18 to much take all at once
But my life wasn't doomed into I was 30 when I picked up a brain injury, i should of left at 18 it isn't worth going through all that mental anguish for years on end all because i couldnt get a girl friend.

 

[symphony]

When? I'd say about 9 months before I was born.

 

[Slimetae]

about 7 but I think I was just born to fail and be traumatized by a chaotic childhood which lead to extremely poor childhood decisions didn't really have any guidance so yeah .

 

[WorthlessTrash]

At birth when i was born male.

 

[Gaga786]

When I was prescribed SSRIs at the age of 13 by a psychotic, gaslighting, manipulative and coercive doctor. My life was deplorable previous to that but medications exacerbated it further on. My childhood trauma; bullying, depression, abuse and neglect are all factors as well

 

[ghostunderthelight]

There are several moments I could choose. I suppose when I was 10 or 11, and my friend began talking more and more about going on diets, losing weight, etc, is when I began to fall down the hole of disordered eating.
It was then that I began SH and having an obsession with my image. Once I realised I could never be perfect, and in conjunction with the depression and anxiety, I began looking for an escape. I have always planned to leave it all someday soon. Nowadays I cannot even finish a meal without needing to hurt myself, falling down a pit of self-hatred and crying alone for hours. I've been cycling through this awful feeling for so long that I just want it all to end.

 

[September5th]

You could say March 11th 2022, but it's really April 7th 2022. The worst day of my life so far.

 

[houseofleaves]

When i was born — not really beautiful, a 5/10 at best. My love life was doomed then.

Then around 6-7, i guess, when i got in to the class of a wrong teacher. My career was doomed then.

And then recently, in 2021, when i did something wrong… and my (new, beloved) teacher stopped loving me — and everything was doomed since then, my purpose, my desires, my abilities… It's over. My life is over. And the rest is posthumous.

 

[FuneralCry]

Just existing in the first place. That is where things went wrong for me. It has never felt right me being alive and I am simply not meant for this world. Being alive is the cause of all my suffering, I find life itself to be horrifying. I really should have never been born, I was perfectly fine not existing until I was forced to live. My life has only ever been suffering, there is no peace for me in this life, I know that I will only be at peace once I am dead.

 

[outatime_85]

At this point, I think I should have been "86'd before being born.

Bad decision after bad decision has left me with a pessimistic view, among other thoughts, and makes it so that I agonize over any decisions I now make.

My current mental state is not good, and every day I wear a mask of happiness.

To paraphrase Nietzsche, I am battling my monsters, but in that process, I think I may become a monster or cash out my chips, so my monsters will not win.

And every day, I stand on the ledge, staring into the abyss, wondering if I'm going to succumb to whatever is in there looking into me.

 

[vanillasilverberry]

I guess you could say it went wrong when I was 12 years old and was the victim of a traumatic crime. After that for a while I was okay. Then when I was 16 it just got worse; my social life at that time was a mess and I was always alone with no one to talk to. After that I guess it didn't really get any better. I'm in college now and it's just like those feelings of loneliness are just 10 times worse than they were in college. These past few weeks have just shown me how lonely I really am and that pain will only be gone once I am.

 

[Deleted member 31858]

I guess since I was about 7 years old. And the worst after 13 years.

 

[MisFortunate]

September 2017

 

[Area Man]

Can you pinpoint when your doom was fated?

I became aware of the gravity of the situation in January this year but possibly was fucked quite sometime before that, maybe as early as 2018 or even 2016. My mistakes played a part but my characteristics haven't helped either. Honestly I've been a wreck since I was about 17 but it could've been salvaged maybe if I'd caught on at life sooner. Maybe.