What was your method when you first became suicidal?

[Some1's_Wasted_Fetus]

Classic sleeping pills. I was about 19. I had heard so many stories on the news and lifetime movies about how sleeping pills had been used by others around my age group to ctb. I actually discovered this site (the original .com domain), by searching up if sleeping pills were reliable to ctb. Man am I glad I found this site. I read accounts of people sleeping for 12-20 something hours, waking up with a massive headache and a pool of vomit, and vomiting non-stop for a week or 2 because the pills weren't strong enough

 

[Fehler]

In high school, although I was not as suicidal as now, I was already thinking of some "plan B" in case things did not go well in the future. By then, I was not investigating so much about the subject and was guided by the movies. My idea was to combine exsanguination with a pill overdose.

 

[Charaltontin]

At first it was cutting my wrist and taking some pain killers but too painful and I didn't think it'll work now it's partial hanging pretty good method ngl

 

[loopylou]

Jumping. I can see a fatal fall from my bedroom window. It's hard not to imagine that

 

[Moose.000]

Detergent suicide. I actually purchased enough to reach 5000ppm in the location I chose. I ended up backing out because I didn't want anyone to get hurt when my body was discovered. Now I use the abundance of high strength toilet bowl cleaner I purchased to clean my toilets and the lime sulfur for my back yard garden. Once I run out of each chemical I have no plans on purchasing again. It's unfortunate because it seems to be a peaceful exit but I can't have anyone innocent becoming a casualty of my personal war.

 

[nolongerhuman]

Benadryl, because I was young and dumb and read in a book that ibuprofen wouldn't work and Benadryl was the next easiest thing to get. After I learned that over the counter drugs in general won't do jack to kill you hanging was my second method.

 

[alown]

hanging, until my imagination and my research let me see that it was extremely painful and with risk of agony for long minutes

 

[awfullife]

I wrote my letters and planned to pull my dads old truck (1995 chevy) into the garage and close the door to die. One of my neighbors did this.
But then I started researching and learned it prolly wouldnt work. Plus my dad would come home from church and find me there. That shit wouldnt be cool. He never did anything to deserve that.

 

[WatermelonMel]

3 years ago I finally thought about doing it for real after having thought about it all my life and ignorant me thought the best way to do it at home without any money was to drown myself in the bath tub.. Needless to say that would've been stupid and painful.

 

[SadJessu]

Overdose on acetaminophen at 12.

 

[Toonloon]

Lol I was 3 or 4 and tried to jump out of my mom's car while she was driving on the street. She caught my hair n crashed the car into a street light. Lol.

After that I thought of drinking bleach or cleaning products at 6 or 7.

8 I tried hanging myself with jump rope in my closet lol.

 

[Celerity]

OD and cutting. Firearm is my method of choice now. I don't want an opportunity to back out.

 

[Whole-Ad]

My first method that I thought about was jumping from a bridge, it is also what I used for my first attempt. I did go through a period of thinking about carbon monoxide, but I was worried about hurting other people. Once I found this website, SN became my preferred method, but with it being difficult to get in the UK, I'm back to my first method of jumping from the same bridge. I've never been a fan of hanging, the thought of struggling or panicking in my last moments scare me. At least with jumping it can be pretty instant and CO and SN relatively peaceful.

 

[mossball]

I can't recall exactly. At first (12+ y.o.?) I was only passively suicidal (wishing to be run over, things like that) but I'd still always muse about those calls of the void; swerving onto oncoming traffic, throwing myself off high places...

After I became actively suicidal, the go-to thought was always my father's guns. Wish I'd gone with it, now I can't anymore. Then it was jumping, but I realized I might survive. Now it's hanging by partial suspension. I didn't find good enough rope before someone realized it.

But now I'm under constant surveilance.

edit_ I also considered overdosing, but one of the people I cherish the most attempted that and it was painful and innefective, so I gave up.

 

[Echo]

Age 12 after seeing that it could be done this way on my mum's soap opera... i combined alcohol and the prescription meds my mum took to calm down when she had to fly.

Turns out the soap opera exaggerated. I am still here.

 

[Revered]

Before discovering SS I considered climbing a radio tower not far from my house. The main problem is that it's surrounded by grass/soft soil which drastically increases odds of survival apparently, so I've disregarded the idea.

 

[EDMisgood]

cutting wrist

 

[Pisceslilith]

Age 11, my method was supposed to be hanging but I didn't have my own space so that definitely wasn't possible. So sometimes when I would walk to school I would purposely try to walk in front of traffic hoping that someone would hit me but that never worked out and I would get beeped instead. Now that I think about it that was such an asshole and selfish move cause if my stupid ass didn't die I could've gotten someone else killed or injured. I feel bad thinking about it but at that time and even now I just knew I wanted to die and would do anything to die at that moment. So I wasn't really thinking of any consequences. But now I am more aware of my surroundings and try to pick methods that don't impact others in a harmful way.

 

[voyager]

Train (decapitation), same as you. Which, morals aside, isn't such a bad choice for a first timer because it would've probably worked. Unlike my alternative which was wrist cutting. Like Carrotcake, I blame the movies for that stupid idea.

 

[Dutchyala]

I was 10 and had a fight with my mom for some silly reason and drank insecticide.
I wasn't suicidal yet, I don't know why I did it. In a way I guess I was always meant to be. I regretted soon and told my mom.
My first attempt with the intent of dying was when I was 14 trying trying cut my wrists. I thought it was easy like in the movies.

 

[idontevenknowanymore]

For about 6 years I wanted to ctb my slitting my wrists/cutting deep enough to bleed out, because cutting is how I self harm. Not planning on doing it that way since I joined this site

 

[Mara09]

Hanging, seemed the most acessible with a high success rate

 

[Numbtopain97]

wrist cutting

 

[suicidesheep31]

Overdosing with the medications of my mother.
I was 12 or 13 and don't remember at all what I took. I even didn't care about.
I just woke up the next day and did as if nothing happened.

 

[abruptum]

first time i thought about dying i can't even remember what the way was but i was really into the idea of living such a dangerous life that someone naturally would want me dead enough to finish the job.
first honestly suicide method was driving a massive kitchen knife through my throat and hoping to bleed out and die

 

[GoneForever]

Tried drowning in a swimming pool when i was 12.I just walked from the shallow to the deep end and sat there for some time until my dad got me out.Didn't even feel anything until i got out of the water but when i did it was rough.Don't think i'd try that again.

 

[elfgyoza]

Definitely an outlier here lol. Really wanted it to work first time, I got fentanyl from the dark web and injected it. Learnt my lesson after that - don't trust dark web sellers

 

[StringPuppet]

I remember when I was a teenager I wanted to guy myself with a knife lol, I'm glad I didn't try that

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Was 11 and .y Dad had recently told me that I was a terrible person and that I would end up in prison before 13. He then told me he should have had my mom get an abortion while she was pregnant with me and that his life wouldn't be so lousy. Basically my birth ruined his life. So, grabbed a bottle of asprin,walked outside to the empty lot 2 houses down and swallowed about 20 or 30 of them. Didn't work, needless to say. Just a pretty nasty stomach ache.

 

[All-Dead-Y]

There always seemed to be something so romantic about jumping off a bridge into the ocean. I'd also try to tie a string around my throat sometimes lol