Venting What was your experience with therapy and drugs?

[todiefor]

Hi I was wondering if people wanted to share or vent about their own personal journey with therapy and drugs. Many on this forum got here after seeking help for a long time with no long term success. How were you failed by the medical system? did anything positive come out of it? Did it make everything worse? Could you not access the help you needed?

 

[HAKMKS]

Hate psych drugs

 

[Sweet Tart]

I've had good results with certain meds but it didn't last. Once I became habituated, the dose would go up and up until I was at the max and not feeling any positive effects.

I still take psych meds and am desperate for new options. I take 2 antidepressants at max dose each, and ironically, a very small dose of clonazepam. I am vigilant about avoiding benzo addiction, and fortunately, a tiny dose is enough to handle acute anxiety situations.

 

[mob]

Unfortunately, none ever helped. I've tried my fair share of antidepressants, and they only made it worse - Quetiapine was the worst one though! Started having hallucinations and almost daily sleep paralysis due to my bad mental state, to which my psychiatrist gave me Quetiapine and was left with the inability to get out of bed and a huge weight gain in a short amount of time. Therapy never helped either, and I absolutely hate going to therapy.

 

[TAW122]

I haven't used drugs before and my experiences with therapy has been negative. At best, it hasn't really helped my situation at all, and at worst, I risk getting intervened against my will since I have to be very careful of how I speak about my ills.

 

[Hollowman]

It's all a scam, future generations are going to look back and wonder what the hell the 'professionals' were thinking.

 

[pyroxenic]

Anti-psychosis and antidepressant drugs have not helped me at all, they mostly numb down the emotional turmoil and feeling like a zombie is a common side effect.

But i have to continue to take them because the withdrawl effects are HORRENDOUS if you stop taking them cold turkey. I stopped taking them out of blue because i convinced myself i dont need them but the withdrawl effects were so awful i think id rather get hospitilized than go through that again.

In a way, the medical system has failed me because, although therapy did help me when it was frequent, i went to back to square one mentally because the doctors gave me medicine i did not want + the therapy sessions stopped because one of my doctors was not actually employed (the health care center fucked my therapist over) and i stopped recieving calls from my psychriatist for future sessions. All i really want is sense of continuation, but having to change doctors over and over again and to reopen old wounds again and again is just painful and exhausting. The medical system keeps fucking over people like me who basically ghost the chronically ill patients and throw shitty medicines that do more harm than good. Yes, therapy and medications do help some people but doctors dont listen to patients bounderies and requests. And its exhausting to find a therapist/doctor who is a right fit for you. :/

 

[bluebird16]

I'm taking meds that don't help at all.

 

[Hollowman]

Anti-psychosis and antidepressant drugs have not helped me at all, they mostly numb down the emotional turmoil and feeling like a zombie is a common side effect.

But i have to continue to take them because the withdrawl effects are HORRENDOUS if you stop taking them cold turkey. I stopped taking them out of blue because i convinced myself i dont need them but the withdrawl effects were so awful i think id rather get hospitilized than go through that again.

In a way, the medical system has failed me because, although therapy did help me when it was frequent, i went to back to square one mentally because the doctors gave me medicine i did not want + the therapy sessions stopped because one of my doctors was not actually employed (the health care center fucked my therapist over) and i stopped recieving calls from my psychriatist for future sessions. All i really want is sense of continuation, but having to change doctors over and over again and to reopen old wounds again and again is just painful and exhausting. The medical system keeps fucking over people like me who basically ghost the chronically ill patients and throw shitty medicines that do more harm than good. Yes, therapy and medications do help some people but doctors dont listen to patients bounderies and requests. And its exhausting to find a therapist/doctor who is a right fit for you. :/

If they really knew what they're doing like a lot of them claim we wouldn't have to find the 'right fit'.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

My personal problem that leads to depressive episodes can neither be treated with a therapy nor with psych meds. However I tried therapy anyway but it failed as was clear from the start. Regarding drugs when I did that excessively decades ago I can only say those were the best times of my life and I wasn't derpessed at all.

 

[shantyizlit]

If they really knew what they're doing like a lot of them claim we wouldn't have to find the 'right fit'.

It's just far easier to pretend like you took this whole doctoral education for the good of others and pretend like you're helping, instead of admitting you did it for personal greed because 'everyone' respects doctors and they make a fat paycheck.
Psychiatric doctors I have a lot of experience with and they're some of the most horrible people that I've ever met.

My life was completely ruined by psychiatric medication, namely antipsychotics. In the beginning I was willingly taking them, just because like any other normal person, I trust doctors. And already then it had ruined me. It took the fun out of the daily activities that I loved (playing video games) and made me not enjoy it anymore, just to name one thing. And once I didn't want to take them anymore I was forced to take them involuntarily and it has just kept making my life worse and worse. And the doctors just don't seem to want to understand that for me this medication comes with unbearable negative effects. No matter how much I tell them that it's just not possible for me to take this medication, they just don't seem to care. They're too strung up in their own belief system.. that psychiatry is good and just. That it is based on facts and logic and science. When there is absolutely no scientific fact that states that these psychiatric illnesses even exist.
I am completely certain that the psychiatric system causes more harm than good, and you'd do best to just steer completely clear from it.
If you ever find yourself in a bad spot and in need of help, these people will fuck you over with their trust in this system. You'd be much better off going at it on your own, which you most likely don't know how to do, but trust me just do something at least.
Psychiatry is an industry and the more products you buy the better.
Most psychiatric doctors are complete fools and it's laughable how utterly delusional they are.

 

[ApparentlyNot]

I truly believe the field of mental health simply attracts a lot of idiots and a lot of mentally ill people; for the latter, it is almost always a way for the individual to project their own experience onto others, and if you are someone who does not evoke the ability to do that, they don't have much interest. It is SO difficult to find a legitimate therapist or psychiatrist who is actually well versed in the theory and practical application of real "therapy" and up to date scientific literature. So many push their views on religion/spirituality and politics onto you, which is always such a red flag.

So many still completely preach the chemical imbalance model of mental illness despite having been replaced by any legitimate professional in the field by the neuroplasticity model. The vast majority of therapists just want to be your venting buddy, and offer no advice that actually requires a degree in the field.

The last mental health professional who I spoke to (did not have a session with), literally told me in this ridiculously compassionate but condescending way (as if she was speaking to a child) that "sometimes we all just need someone to talk to and vent to, so we can get it out and realize that everyone has these problems and that it's not that bad." And I just smiled at her and said "yeah you're right." By the way, all I had told her by this point, was that I wanted to be put on an SSRI, not a single other thing. All she did was see was that I was younger than her, maybe that is why she completely dismissed my issues? - I couldn't have been younger than 26 when this happened (I'm 28 now). She had my medical records, and if she had even glanced at them, she would have realized that I have a significant history of mental illness, institutionalization, and psychiatric medication.

She even asked (probably just out of legal obligation) if I was suicidal. And I just straight up said yes, that I was, and she immediately responded with a kind smile and said "yes, but nothing actually serious, right?" to which I then said "I guess not..." and we instantly, and I mean instantly, moved on. I gave short answers because I was so uncomfortable being outside in the first place at that time (I was extremely agoraphobic for several years), and when she responded this way it just shot down my ability to communicate.

This is not indicative of all therapists, but it is extremely difficult to find someone who can actually help you and who you respect. There is SO much trial and error, and everyone just casually says "yes, that's normal! you have to look around and see many therapists to find the right match... and by the way, you should give each one multiple sessions to see how it goes before you decide." WHO HAS THE FUCKING MONEY FOR THAT? WHO HAS THE TIME. WHO HAS THE MENTAL CAPACITY WHEN I BARELY CAN FUCKING GET OUT OF BED? It's like they decided to put 1000 road blocks in the way of getting help for the exact type of people who cannot handle those road blocks. I am still keeping hope that one day I will attempt to get a good mental health professional, but doing it is soooooo disheartening and expensive.

My experience with benzos has been good for anxiety, but I'm an addict so we are inherently incompatible. My experience with SSRIs has been that they don't help with my depression, but make me gain weight and lose all my libido. Things like tricyclic antidepressants have done absolutely nothing.

 

[olearius]

Hi I was wondering if people wanted to share or vent about their own personal journey with therapy and drugs. Many on this forum got here after seeking help for a long time with no long term success. How were you failed by the medical system? did anything positive come out of it? Did it make everything worse? Could you not access the help you needed?

Well, I've been in therapy on and off for 12 years. I'm actually mentally better than I've ever been because of it. Partially because my therapist of the last 5 years is actually amazing (she knows I want to ctb, supports my decision and has not hospitalized me). I have excellent communication skills, I'm not reactive, I'm thoughtful, I have developed an excellent routine using all tools available (mindfulness, meditation, nature, etc), I think I'm a pretty good person - I make mistakes but I see my failures as learning opportunities, and I love who I am.
And for a long time, meds didn't work for me, until I had pharmacogenetic testing and in 2018 started an antidepressant that actually worked for my treatment resistant depression.

But last year I started having ideation again, and so I went back to therapy (took a break during COVID as I was a frontline hcw on a COVID unit). I had my meds adjusted in March, and have declined since to a low I didn't know was possible. So I did ketamine infusions this month and I am a non-responder. I'm not eligible for TMS or ECT because I have metal in my head.

And it's like, I've always known I would get here? The end of the road, I mean. I've wanted to ctb since I was 4 due to pretty horrid physical and emotional abuse, and extreme neglect. So here I am. There are no more meds. There are no more procedures. There are no more therapies. If I am doing everything right - managing a routine, going to therapy weekly, taking all my meds, going outside, sharing my struggles with genuinely supportive people, meditating, practicing mindfulness, exercising when I am able, doing my best to eat and still extremely suicidal, then maybe I just can't be helped. My adoptive family did irreparable harm to my brain. And maybe that's okay - I've accepted it.

The system has failed me a lot over the years, especially with my other medical issues, and while it has failed me with my mental health, I've also been extremely privileged with such a phenomenal family doctor and therapist who have respected my need for autonomy (no hospitalization).

I think it can work sometimes but mostly it doesn't address the systemic problems most humans face - and it's far too strained bc of (imo) capitalism. So it does immeasurable harm to so many people. And all people deserve decency and compassion when it comes to quality of life in the physical/mental realm. Whatever that may look like.

 

[melb3mel]

SSRI's didn't really do much. They put me on an antipsychotic too but it made it hard to sleep so I stopped taking that. Therapy is useless. Therapy only works if you care about getting better, otherwise you're just wasting your time. I hate how everyone tells everyone they need therapy, it isn't for everyone at all.

 

[FindingHome]

I haven't had much experience with therapy. When it comes to drugs, I heard that it's all about finding something that works for you and most people go through many med combos before they find something that works for them.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Hi I was wondering if people wanted to share or vent about their own personal journey with therapy and drugs. Many on this forum got here after seeking help for a long time with no long term success. How were you failed by the medical system? did anything positive come out of it? Did it make everything worse? Could you not access the help you needed?

Therapy for me is ineffective because I don't particularly care about talking about my experiences. It doesn't help me deal with them. It just brings back the emotions I am trying to avoid. Drugs? Nah. What drugs do you give me for this? They don't exist? Worse? Ehh it was fine until my last trip to the psych ward. It caused me to lose faith in psychiatry as whole. I saw a doctor who didn't give a shit. While I someone who should be a doctor is suicidal because I can't help. A doctor I'm seeing failing his patients... It's infuriating. He treated me like the scum of the earth and we should've been colleagues... Made me realize some depression (people) is fixable and some isn't. Am I a difficult case probably but I have also seen a pretty strong lack of effort. I'm thoroughly unimpressed.

To summarize I am unimpressed with modern psychological/psychiatric care along with just the general help from society.

 

[Already Gone6]

Psych drugs are the devil. Especially when you read all the horror stories of people trying to get off who are either forced off cold turkey or don't know how the hell to get off them.

They did nothing for me. Some fortunate people could at least hold down a job or whatever while taking them. They literally turned me into an apathetic zombie.

Oh and without i'm psychotic as hell. Not sure anymore if it's illness or withdrawal. Either way it sucks because they ruined my health and I can't tolerate them anymore. When I do take them it's usually for a few days then I toss them out of distress.

 

[SolomonKado]

i feel like there is a script on each disorder. You have to follow what it says without any deviation. Even if the person has many different disorders you have to follow the script for each disorder instead of as a whole. Like it's black and white. Mental health is a whole different rainbow and can't be approached as black and white.

Also due to addiction levels of psych drugs in the US then the doctors almost refuse to prescribe you anything stronger.

There has to be a better way of doing this then what's just in their book.

 

[bluesoapyskies]

therapy and the psychiatrists were a joke. meds only numbed the pain, didnt make it go away.