What was the worst thing said to you while contemplating ctb?

[Suicidal4Ever]

I've told no one my plans but constantly get told im a fuck up and cant do anything. Also i've been told to kill myself more times than i can count over the internet lol

 

[Pistolero114]

Last summer, when I told my brother that I was feeling suicidal, he told me, "You're always suicidal." (Not quite true.) He added, "Suicide is selfish. Why don't you live and deal with the stress?"


What's selfish is the be people who can to handle any aspect of death and tell you that you have to live because you'll hurt those who "Love" you. Ok selfish bastards who say all the time to call to h ko matter what and then say they don't have time right now so call back later when you feel better. Stupid sheeple mouthing their platitudes then brushing you off. I spent nearly ten years of my life working to find my fellow vets and dragging them where I could at least give them a comfortable place to sleep and a hot meal. Hundreds of days being out at be out at all hours trying to do a little good and mostly listen while they talked. And really listen. Listen.to a fellow human being whose soul is so beaten down by this greedy profit driven world. I helped some. Others I couldn't help other than attend their funeral. I am not some hero or any bullshit I ikr that. I am just a man. With the same needs and desires of an ordinary individual. I walked.away after some shithead director told a vet he couldn't stay in bed too he parking lot or something until staff arrived in a few hours. Asshole director didn't even have someone call me and sit with him while we waited for the doors of the clinic to open. So he drove down. The road and parked. Very rural place so no anybody around. Took a 12 gauge military styled stuck it in his mouth and squeezed the trigger. I saw his car on the way in and discovered his body. That was it. I was done with corporate anything for the rest of my life. Walked away from that and the majority of society. And now I find myself where that young man was all those years ago. The people who say call them are mostly full of shit. Because the ones who really care call you first to see if you're alright and do you need or want any help.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power then and only then will the world know peace. Thanks for letting me share.

I've told no one my plans but constantly get told im a fuck up and cant do anything. Also i've been told to kill myself more times than i can count over the internet lol


Kind of makes some folks (not me personally but maybe future me) want to get a Barrett Light 50 and pop coconuts from a mile out. Sorry. Feeling frustrated lately. Thank you for letting me share.

 

[Numbtopain97]

I've been told " stop being an attention whore"

 

[mattwitt]

My evil mother told me "just do it already" and just recently said something like "Great... Another bill I'll get stuck with"

 

[Pistolero114]

My evil mother told me "just do it already" and just recently said something like "Great... Another bill I'll get stuck with"

 

[GinaIsReady]

I do not mention my thoughts about ctb'ing to anyone outside this website any longer. I mentioned it to a family member, who I was very close to, twice. The first time he said he would not talk about that with me, he was only interested in talking about LIVING. Great response, I thought. The second time I mentioned it, he was so disgusted with me he stopped talking to me. He said he wasn't going to stick around to be destroyed by my taking the easy way out. The loss of my brother has been a huge loss to me.

 

[blanketyblk]

My evil mother told me "just do it already" and just recently said something like "Great... Another bill I'll get stuck with"

Jesus, i'm so sorry you have people like that in your life!!. what a truly horrible human being she is!

 

[ladolcemorte]

"oh you don't really want to do it. You are just being overly dramatic" (my mother)

"If you really wanted to do it, you would have done it by now. You are scaring the people around you, acting like a bomb about to go off. But you are not a bomb about to go off. Now go home and start applying your DBT skills" (a psychiatrist said this )

"I don't think it was a real suicide attempt. It was a cry for help". ( friend)

Friend after distancing herself from me: "I have been keeping my distance because I don't get this mental health stuff. I know I should try to get it, but I don't. Sometimes I think it is just for attention"

 

[Saga]

even the therapist is heartless sometimes its better to keep things to yourself or reach out to people who goes through the same thing as you..
Which reminds me of Chester Bennington..he tried and put out everything into music,we (some) had enjoyed it but no one ever thought he was that deep into depression already if i may qoute him im living by this line from his song
"All I want to do is trade this life for something new"..
It was all I wanted but its all downhill from where I am spiralling down faster than I had anticipated..I wish some of the "loved ones" understood whats it like to have a constant battle with your thoughts

 

[ladolcemorte]

even the therapist is heartless sometimes its better to keep things to yourself or reach out to people who goes through the same thing as you..
Which reminds me of Chester Bennington..he tried and put out everything into music,we (some) had enjoyed it but no one ever thought he was that deep into depression already if i may qoute him im living by this line from his song
"All I want to do is trade this life for something new"..
It was all I wanted but its all downhill from where I am spiralling down faster than I had anticipated..I wish some of the "loved ones" understood whats it like to have a constant battle with your thoughts

Yeah, and after he died, there was this huge PR campaign urging people to reach out for help. But everyone just ignores the fact that the quality of the "help" varies greatly according to the skill/training of the helper. The burden is placed on the suicidal person to reach out for help, but no one bothers to tell us what to do when the "help" isn't helpful.

 

[Saga]

Yeah, and after he died, there was this huge PR campaign urging people to reach out for help. But everyone just ignores the fact that the quality of the "help" varies greatly according to the skill/training of the helper. The burden is placed on the suicidal person to reach out for help, but no one bothers to tell us what to do when the "help" isn't helpful.

Thats why most of us tend to just look for sources to end the pain..because even if they say they're always around to listen they will never do so and instead just makes you more trapped

 

[262653]

I can only recall the best thing said to me, something in lines of: "Honestly, I don't give a fuck." I was so surprised by not hearing a bullshit response, like pathetic, low-effort (low DC) attempts at guilt tripping and fear mongering as well as other poorly constructed attacks on my intellectual integrity (is it too loud of a phrase here? I feel like it's the right one), I've experienced a surge of deep respect (although momentary) towards him. But yeah, average responses are such nonsense they're highly intoxicating, like your average absurd comedy.

 

[glk]

Never thought about telling anyone about it. After reading this whole thread I decided that I'll never try to.

 

[Bagger]

"Then go for it, do it now!" From some dude that I barely know who overheard my conversation with gf. Who the fuck they think they are, this is my fucking decision, I will go if and when I decide, not by anyone else wish.

 

[Pistolero114]

I do not mention my thoughts about ctb'ing to anyone outside this website any longer. I mentioned it to a family member, who I was very close to, twice. The first time he said he would not talk about that with me, he was only interested in talking about LIVING. Great response, I thought. The second time I mentioned it, he was so disgusted with me he stopped talking to me. He said he wasn't going to stick around to be destroyed by my taking the easy way out. The loss of my brother has been a huge loss to me.


Losing one of a very few people who we truly enjoy their companionship is an emotional tsunami. It can slam into you with real physical force. I too do not speak to anyone outside of the circle @ SS.

I understand with much personal investment how you feel. Condolences be on your loss my friend.

 

[StillWaiting]

"Why are you not grateful for your life. Others who had it worst than you are still living."