HGL91
Warlock
- Jul 2, 2019
- 720
It's been some months. Are those people that hugged you and told you they are always there for you, still there for you?
It's been some months. Are those people that hugged you and told you they are always there for you, still there for you?
marcusuk63
CTB
- Mar 24, 2019
- 1,735
dont be silly , of course not , unless they want something doing like building a fence or decorating
HGL91
Warlock
- Jul 2, 2019
- 720
I don't judge you. In fact, I went through something somewhat similar. Had a boyfriend of 2 years that became a toxic alcoholic, isolating me from everyone, and then I was ready to escape and I cheated on him with a guy from my past. However, it still mentally messed me up, so I ended up having two guys mad at me. I don't want to date anymore, I can't function at jobs, and being single is so isolating to me. I just want to die. :(
Darn fickle people... what happens if you ask them for help on something?
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TheGoodGuy
Visionary
- Aug 27, 2018
- 2,999
Suffering from all my physical problems that has ruined my quality of life and isolated me with no friends and made me unable to cope like other people can the worst is that it was never my fault just a defect body that got worse by the years so it was predetermined to happen completely out of my control.
marcusuk63
CTB
- Mar 24, 2019
- 1,735
Darn fickle people... what happens if you ask them for help on something?
[/QUOTE]
They would help i should think but i would and never have asked anyone for help , it`s just not my thing
[/QUOTE]
They would help i should think but i would and never have asked anyone for help , it`s just not my thing
TraumaBunny
Member
- Aug 17, 2019
- 28
I lost my family, the love of my life and I'm debilitated by a chronic neurological illness which is slowly destroying me. I live like a quarantined animal, socially isolated, just a screen for company.
PatKat
Meh
- Aug 9, 2018
- 1,027
Losing my one true love, having no career whilst looking at others making 100k plus, being ugly and a misfit, getting sick with mid 20s with an old man's disease and then having to give up career plans, now mobility reduced and contemplating suicide every day, being full of guilt towards family for being selfish and a loser
sounds similar to me. I am sorry we are like this
sounds similar to me. I am sorry we are like this
azucaramargo
Enlightened
- Sep 16, 2018
- 1,010
Parents who only had kids to satisfy a societal norm. Conscientious, responsible parents who did not enjoy parenthood, and took out their frustration on those kids. They smile about those of their kids who are successful because of course that's a reflection of them.
Would I be better off being born with fetal alcohol syndrome, or addicted to crack? Probably not. I just think it's unfair that my folks had kids when they clearly saw us -- since we were infants-- as usurpers of their.money, time, energy, and freedom.
I wonder what kind of person I'd be, what kind of choices I'd have made if I had been raised to think that some one delighted in my personality and my cuteness and gave affection liberally and indiscriminately. Conversely, even non-affectionate parents who pushed me to think about career possibilities, pushed me to achieve my goals (that they would've helped me articulate), and make a plan, and basically love myself.
I asked my shrink how low-profile/understated women managed to snag these moral, loyal, creative, successful dudes who relish fatherhood and weekends with their wives and children.
"How does one get a guy like Adam Sandler, for instance?" And, my shrink said, "Those are women who were raised to love themselves. And, that is an irresistible quality."
I'm not nutballs about Sandler's most recent works, but I do appreciate his loyalty to a cast of players, his featuring his wife -- then, his wife and kids---in every movie he makes, and his down-to-earth charm, and commitment to humor.
Anyway, I'm not letting myself off vthe hook for failing to invest time and effort into self actualization and looking inward, so to speak, but being made to feel like you're a constant disappointment, about whom your mom, in a journal she kept when I was 2, speculated whether I might be developmentally challenged because I was always kissing and hugging my parents. Also, my mom is of the opinion that children ARE very often the cause of divorce, so that just tells you something. A dad who pulled kids across the room by their hair, cocked his fist and pinned his 13-year-old daughter to the wall by the neck. A dad who went NUCLEAR on a 4-year-old girl, who, at a barbecue tried to conserve the unused milk by mistakenly pouring it into my parents' pool-side margarita mix.
A sexually inappropriate dad about whom, when.we complained to our mom, would say, "Well, at least he likes you.". (Meaning, at least he's an "involved" dad who wants to spend time with his kids).
I realize this is all bush league compared to what others have experienced. All my educational endeavors were paid for. College. Even grad school. Summer theater programs, all the test prep classes I wanted for any standardized test I wanted to take. International travel, exchange programs, tutors, encouragement and support to attend conferences to further our careers..
Is that a góod trade off for someone hurling furniture across the room at a 32-year-old offspring? Throwing keys at a 16-year-old's face, calling her an ungrateful bitch, and telling her she should be on her knees (ostensibly with gratitude).
When I look at pictures of Hilary Rhoda, I sometimes feel pangs of injustice because I feel I'm a few top-of-the-line plastic-surgery procedures (of which she herself has had the benefit) from looking like her...and that strikes me as very unfair.
I can't in all sincerity blame my professional and romantic failures on any external factors. I really don't think I wanted it enough to exhibit that kind of discipline. Sometimes I bemoan the fact that I wasn't an only-child.
But, I do find it unfair that parents who admittedly didn't delight in childrearing chose to have three kids.
Sorry to go on and on. My dad just today dressed me down before work and yelled at me the same way he did when I was in elementary school. But, yet out the other side of his mouth pays for shrinks for me to deal.
I'm sorry. Maybe.im lucky to have had status-obsessed, educated parents with resources, but my shrink is always telling me, "Imagine how different your interactions with people would be if you were raised thinking that you were loved irrespective of achievement."
Would I be better off being born with fetal alcohol syndrome, or addicted to crack? Probably not. I just think it's unfair that my folks had kids when they clearly saw us -- since we were infants-- as usurpers of their.money, time, energy, and freedom.
I wonder what kind of person I'd be, what kind of choices I'd have made if I had been raised to think that some one delighted in my personality and my cuteness and gave affection liberally and indiscriminately. Conversely, even non-affectionate parents who pushed me to think about career possibilities, pushed me to achieve my goals (that they would've helped me articulate), and make a plan, and basically love myself.
I asked my shrink how low-profile/understated women managed to snag these moral, loyal, creative, successful dudes who relish fatherhood and weekends with their wives and children.
"How does one get a guy like Adam Sandler, for instance?" And, my shrink said, "Those are women who were raised to love themselves. And, that is an irresistible quality."
I'm not nutballs about Sandler's most recent works, but I do appreciate his loyalty to a cast of players, his featuring his wife -- then, his wife and kids---in every movie he makes, and his down-to-earth charm, and commitment to humor.
Anyway, I'm not letting myself off vthe hook for failing to invest time and effort into self actualization and looking inward, so to speak, but being made to feel like you're a constant disappointment, about whom your mom, in a journal she kept when I was 2, speculated whether I might be developmentally challenged because I was always kissing and hugging my parents. Also, my mom is of the opinion that children ARE very often the cause of divorce, so that just tells you something. A dad who pulled kids across the room by their hair, cocked his fist and pinned his 13-year-old daughter to the wall by the neck. A dad who went NUCLEAR on a 4-year-old girl, who, at a barbecue tried to conserve the unused milk by mistakenly pouring it into my parents' pool-side margarita mix.
A sexually inappropriate dad about whom, when.we complained to our mom, would say, "Well, at least he likes you.". (Meaning, at least he's an "involved" dad who wants to spend time with his kids).
I realize this is all bush league compared to what others have experienced. All my educational endeavors were paid for. College. Even grad school. Summer theater programs, all the test prep classes I wanted for any standardized test I wanted to take. International travel, exchange programs, tutors, encouragement and support to attend conferences to further our careers..
Is that a góod trade off for someone hurling furniture across the room at a 32-year-old offspring? Throwing keys at a 16-year-old's face, calling her an ungrateful bitch, and telling her she should be on her knees (ostensibly with gratitude).
When I look at pictures of Hilary Rhoda, I sometimes feel pangs of injustice because I feel I'm a few top-of-the-line plastic-surgery procedures (of which she herself has had the benefit) from looking like her...and that strikes me as very unfair.
I can't in all sincerity blame my professional and romantic failures on any external factors. I really don't think I wanted it enough to exhibit that kind of discipline. Sometimes I bemoan the fact that I wasn't an only-child.
But, I do find it unfair that parents who admittedly didn't delight in childrearing chose to have three kids.
Sorry to go on and on. My dad just today dressed me down before work and yelled at me the same way he did when I was in elementary school. But, yet out the other side of his mouth pays for shrinks for me to deal.
I'm sorry. Maybe.im lucky to have had status-obsessed, educated parents with resources, but my shrink is always telling me, "Imagine how different your interactions with people would be if you were raised thinking that you were loved irrespective of achievement."
Wayfaerer
JFMSUF
- Aug 21, 2019
- 1,938
I could list numerous unfair things that I've been subjected to, but just one thing I couldn't. It's especially infuriating when you have a sibling that had been treated better by chance or otherwise but in my case at least said sibling is a very kind so it doesn't upset me even more than it already does.
I've brought most of it on myself. If I'm being petty I could blame my upbringing but if I was a better person I could've dealt with it.
Pistolero114
Veteran
- Jun 25, 2019
- 261
To be falsely accused by some whom I helped bring into the world and loved and cherished all their lives. They were and still are precious to me. And false allegations by someone who knows how to play the victim with some extremely astute insight not only a brings you to a point in life where you feel lower than whale shit; everyone else's opinion lowers with your own. Even years later when it was admitted to be false by said accusers in a court of law you still still do not feel vindicated. You never stop loving your children; but you can become very afraid of them. Even now knowing that my CTB is right the corner I still feel a tear roll down my cheeks at such a betrayal.
I hope that no one here has ever been falsely accused by their own; but if you have them my heart goes out to you. I cannot in my 60+ years on this big blue marble we all call home remember anything in my life that brought me lower psychologically emotionally physically and even financially because lawyers cost money. Good luck to anyone dealing with a similar situation; again; my heart goes out to you.
I hope that no one here has ever been falsely accused by their own; but if you have them my heart goes out to you. I cannot in my 60+ years on this big blue marble we all call home remember anything in my life that brought me lower psychologically emotionally physically and even financially because lawyers cost money. Good luck to anyone dealing with a similar situation; again; my heart goes out to you.
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