There were a few times in my life where I was close and while I'm not at those critical points anymore, it would be difficult to answer it effectively. Therefore, I'll act as though I'm in an alternative timeline and answer as if I was in those situations myself.
Here are a few examples of some situations where there would be last straws for me:
Back in Summer 2018, when I discovered this site, I banked on the fact that if I couldn't meet that hot European chick (who is living in the US) and hug her, then I'd die before the end of 2018. So in a sense, I had a shitty life throughout the years and I'm just relying on that one situation to either push me to ctb or given me enough hope for a small recovery. I succeeded on that objective so I lived to see 2019.
Then another time, just recently, in March 2019, I banked on the fact that if my travels to another place was successful and I got what I was looking for (reason and details redacted due to privacy and security reasons), then it would give me enough hope to live past May 2019 and see summer 2019 and beyond. Had I failed my objectives and not succeeded in getting what I am looking for, then I would have died before the end of May 2019.
I can't say that my life is much, much better, but at least not bad enough to actively want to ctb (things may and can change at any time, but during this time, I'm still living life - not really enjoying it but just tolerating it).
