Discussion What was the last straw for you? Is there something that pushed you over the edge?

[Pistolero114]

When I was finally forced too take off the rose colored glasses and had no choice but to see the world and the bulk of humanity as they really are. An epiphany if you will. I am praying that the human race is not the Apex of intelligence in the universe. However; I am getting tired of waiting on the aliens so CTB it is.

 

[HGL91]

When I was finally forced too take off the rose colored glasses and had no choice but to see the world and the bulk of humanity as they really are. An epiphany if you will. I am praying that the human race is not the Apex of intelligence in the universe. However; I am getting tired of waiting on the 's so CTB it is.

Yup. I had to take off the rose colored glasses too :/

 

[Fadinglife]

It hasn't happened yet but i think it would be coming soon

 

[Reaper44]

Realizing that no matter what I do I will just have to suffer the same thing over and over again. To put it simple, it's almost like I'm living a different life. Every year I have to adjust to another area, another community. It's just too much not trusting that anything will ever be there for you, and it's like I'm losing myself in the transitions. I would rather die as myself than as someone I don't know. It's one of the worst feelings ever.

 

[Vegrau]

The very fact that people cannot be honest to each others. Where you have to lie to survive. Where you have to act to fit in. They expect honesty and understanding from you, exalting and singing praises to virtues of kindness and love yet they cannot do it themselves. They will never accept the truth that they dont want to know. Disgusting things. They never realize how twisted their own self is. Their madness, ego and emotions. Lies. Their love are lies. Their words lies. Their whole being are lies.

 

[Soul]

@Shamana's pirhanas-in-the-bathtub thread was as much as I could take, especially after he added the picture.

 

[Beautifulletdown]

When I realized that no matter how many times I tried to think positive thoughts, my mind would always come right back to dying. Just like when you're around other people that are happy and discussing their future plans/goals and they ask you what you want to do with your life, but you don't have anything to say because everything is just blank. It made me finally see that no matter how many times I get help or try medication, nothing is ever going to make me want to live. It's not exactly something that pushed me over the edge, it's just the same consistent feelings that this world just isn't meant for me.

I guess my thoughts aren't unique because this sums up exactly how my life has gone and is now. I've tried numerous medications and "alternative" treatments for my depression but still see everything negatively. It's like my brain doesn't know any other way so why bother being here. I don't think life or I will get better.

 

[Etherealdignity333]

There were two.

1) when the love of my life told me he's with someone else and will eventually move to be with her and house husband it up. Lame, I know.

2) when I got fired, ironically, for a patient putting a cord around their neck on my shift, essentially fucking my nursing license for all eternity.

That being said, if anyone is ever thinking about killing themselves while hospitalized or in custody, please don't. The life you take might not just be your own.

@Shamana's pirhanas-in-the-bathtub thread was as much as I could take, especially after he added the picture.

I wish there was a laughing emoji.

 

[Shamana]

@Shamana's pirhanas-in-the-bathtub thread was as much as I could take, especially after he added the picture.

Soul, I would hate it if my completely peacefull method of being eaten alive by piranha's as well as being scratched to death by a cub tiger actually brought anyone closer to a final exit.

 

[Livinginhell]

Been born and life!

I remember most of my life wanting to die but always had hope. The years go by, I get weaker, more pathetic and things just get worse. I lost my job last year, my career and that was when I thought, "yep, now it's time".

 

[Soul]

Soul, I would hate it if my completely peacefull method of being eaten alive by piranha's as well as being scratched to death by a cub tiger actually brought anyone closer to a final exit.

Don't fret, @Shamana! There is no Soul, no pirhana, no tiger cub, no bathtub, no eating no being eaten no scratching no being scratched - bodhi svaha 8]

 

[seekingoblivion]

The realization that I'm too stupid /weak /weird to live. I've always had low self esteem but never really HATED myself til about a decade ago when I noticed this of myself.

 

[HGL91]

@Etherealdignity333 Agreed! Wish there was a laugh emoji for Soul's post. But alas, I've seen on the feedback section that they will not add it because it can be abused as bullying on here. :/

 

[Etherealdignity333]

@Etherealdignity333 Agreed! Wish there was a laugh emoji for Soul's post. But alas, I've seen on the feedback section that they will not add it because it can be abused as bullying on here. :/

That's a shame, though I can see that. This is the last forum on earth that a bully should be.

 

[Dawn0071111]

Being the unwitting victim of a narcissist. Developed full blown Narcisiistc Abuse Syndrome. I handwrote a 60 page suicide letter to him. His pictures and our "song" played while I filled the room with gas, but my attempt failed.

I'm sure most suicides are relational. Either the loss of it or never having had it. Perfectly legitimate reason to die imo. We are wired for love and connection.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I recall years and years ago, as a teenager, writing in a diary about how does one kill themselves. 15 yrs ago I tried and failed, had nothing in my life at the point, I would go to sleep wake up and not know if it was morning or night. I was a women at an age were I should have been out enjoying life, instead I was barely functioning. I met my husband and things looked up, but back of my mind I have never felt *right* something has always never felt right about life and my whole existence.
It's only this year when I had a full blown mental breakdown that I now realise life and me just don't seem to get on and just don't match. Everything I do is wrong, I am destroying the lifes of others around me, I live in hell, The most comfortable and relaxed I have felt was 2 weeks ago when I was the closest I have ever been to ending it, since knowing I can get to that point now I am so calm its surreal