Venting What was the dumbest, people have told you about your mental illness?

[OrcWitch]

Someone telling me I just need to get exercise. I was already living an active lifestyle.

 

[Anxieyote]

Someone telling me I just need to get exercise. I was already living an active lifestyle.

They also don't extend any sympathy for those who aren't able to.

My back pain has gotten so bad over the years, that I'm in excruciating pain if I twist my body in certain ways. Even simple things like walking for extended periods of time enflames my muscles, and I have to deal with the sharp pains that follow.

But I still get all these people telling me, "You know what's really helped me? Yoga. You should try that."

 

[OrcWitch]

But I still get all these people telling me, "You know what's really helped me? Yoga. You should try that."

I hate this mentality in people.

 

[Ankou]

I have chronic (not mental) illness so dunno if this counts:
My lovely Grandmother says that since I'm in pain and suffering I'll be closer to God. Then she got pissed when I said that I don't need to go to church or pray anymore since my agony has already made me close enough to God

 

[Murakami'sCat]

I loathe the cancer analogy and so many use it. Being distraught and afraid because you have cancer is not the same as a long term pervasive set of beliefs that cause flat affect.

Both are bad, don't get me wrong, but the comparison is just like apples and pears yet people are determined to stick to it.

Very true. Comparing illnesses is wrong full stop. For somebody to compare their pain to another's is not ony reductive but it is very dismissive. There's no competition for who suffers the most and we all live our own experiences. I truly do not get it when people do this "Well, people are worse off" thing - yes, it is always true that somebody in the world will have had really terrible things happen to them but that doesn't mean that sets the standard of what deserves compassion and everyone else can just be quiet. It's diminishing MH problems and saying they are not as bad as physical illnesses, when we all know that is just ridiculous.

 

[Leech]

Just take vitamin D
Or that my mental illness is just me being selfish

 

[AntHydra]

The classic "Many people have it way worse", "I have had it really badly, but I managed to deal with it on my own", "You are intelligent, you can do anything you put your mind to, I don't believe you are autistic/depressed/have any issues", "You are too whiny. Just get over it already, it's been too long", "I don't want to deal with any more of this psych talk".
All of those from my mother. Who, I would like to stretch, is well-meaning, don't hate her for this. It's just... not helpful. I'm not as strong as she is.

 

[Anxieyote]

The classic "Many people have it way worse", "I have had it really badly, but I managed to deal with it on my own", "You are intelligent, you can do anything you put your mind to, I don't believe you are autistic/depressed/have any issues", "You are too whiny. Just get over it already, it's been too long", "I don't want to deal with any more of this psych talk".

All of these are dismissive gaslighting phrases that don't offer any real solutions or constructive advice. It makes me thankful for my Mom who at least acknowledged that my problems were beyond her scope of understanding, and encouraged me to find a good therapist.

My Dad on the other hand…I don't speak to him about my mental issues at all because he's parroted some of the phrases you've listed above.

 

[AntHydra]

All of these are dismissive gaslighting phrases that don't offer any real solutions or constructive advice. It makes me thankful for my Mom who at least acknowledged that my problems were beyond her scope of understanding, and encouraged me to find a good therapist.

My Dad on the other hand…I don't speak to him about my mental issues at all because he's parroted some of the phrases you've listed above.

I get that they're bad phrases and I don't want to excuse them, and I've given up talking about my mental issues with her because of them. But they're not all there is to her, and she is not a gaslighter or abuser. My mum HAS acknowledged she doesn't fully understand my issues, she tries to help me by doing activities with me to lift my spirits, and she has encouraged me to see a therapist as well. It's apparent to me that it's all for nothing in the end, but she does care. The therapist I am seeing isn't very helpful at all, as he has time for me every two months or so and usually just stares at me with a blank expression the entire time and watches me cry and whimper, but that's a different issue, haha.

I can't talk to my dad about my issues either. He usually just starts getting angry when any of my issues become apparent. At least he is more compassionate with my eating disorder than my mother.
It's all complicated, really.
I wish I could speak to either or both or anyone else earnestly.

 

[ContinuousJump]

My father: I know the answer for you, @ContinuousJump... Just stop feeling the feelings you're feeling.

I was thinking of including in my suicide note, "If you're feeling sad/grief about me killing myself, I know the answer for you... Just stop feeling the feelings you're feeling."

Luckily, I'm not that cruel...

 

[existtosuffer]

"Oh everyone's a little Bipolar"

Because yeah. A Psychotic breakdown whilst wanting to kill yourself is common.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

It wasn't so much a dumb thing, but rather a dumb action. My therapist actually berated me for having anxiety, saying it's the root of all my problems. (When it reality, it was my toxic family.) And her only solution for my anxiety was "sharing my feelings". But even that had a catch: unless I told her something she wanted to hear, she either mocked me or pretended not to know what I was talking about. Luckily, my social skills were decent. With some trial-and-error, I figured out what answers/statements she expected, and regurgitated them as much as I could stomach it. But that wasn't always enough. She liked to poke at my triggers, and said it's for my own good because "it helps you share your feelings"---which made my anxiety worse, thus giving her more "attach material". Unfortunately, I had no defenses for that tactic of hers.

My parents also accused me of "faking depression to get out of being punished". When in reality, it's their excessive, power-crazy punishments that caused my depression. My therapist always laughed when I told her about the punishments. Fuck my life!

 

[motel rooms]

"Choking me won't make you feel better."

 

[Papaver]

That I am depressed because I haven't accepted God into my life. I was raised Christian, but lost my faith in my early twenties, so now my family thinks I'm only suicidal because I'm "mad at God".

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

People are fond of telling me that getting a job will cure my depression, as if the inkling of a meaningless purpose can actually overcome the dread of being stuck doing something I hate…

 

[nerve]

"But you still spend time with your friends! Of course you can't be depressed! You must just be faking!"

(This was back when I had friends of course)

 

[netrezven]

It is complete truth, but i didn't liked it "It always easy for you. Tomorrow you won't even remeber this conversation.". Ya i do have those blackouts, and i wanna keep them black.

 

[Flippy]

"Oh everyone's a little Bipolar"

Because yeah. A Psychotic breakdown whilst wanting to kill yourself is common.

For fucks sake! Please tell me this didn't come from a "professional". Seriously if it did, they must be giving out psychiatric diplomas away in special packs of Kellogg's Cornflakes!

This reminds me of the time when challenging the nonsense BPD diagnosis I was given, after half an hour with a psychiatrist who produced the most amusing fictitious medical history I've ever read in my medical notes.

I essentially asked another, new psychiatrist to evidence the symptoms. After not producing any and acknowledging I did have a genuine Bipolar diagnosis on file, he said "well you know everyone has some level of personality disorder." I asked "well why isn't it on everyone's medical records then?", "are all you patients treated like badly behaved six year olds?" And "why did every nurse and psychiatrist I met for the last decade all tell me I don't display BPD symptoms?"

He finally admitted that the BPD diagnosis wasn't valid.

What a pointless dumb exercise my "treatment" under those people was. I'm never seeking "help" from those pillocks ever again.

 

[Shadowplay]

My mum saying I should have done yoga when I was 13; the year I was nearly sectioned. Yeah right that'd make the difference. lol

 

[stellabelle]

I'll go first: A few days ago someone told me: "I don't understand why you're sad. You have warm and cold water, just be happy about it!"

That I was mentally ill in the first place, instead of the distress and constant abuse and harassment and fuckery that caused it.