Discussion What to expect from a divorce

[isthisit?]

This monday, Im at my gfs place and all of a sudden my mom calls me and tells me to come home. I guessed that someone had died and went home. There they told me that they had made the decision to get a divorce. The weird thing is that there has been 0 indication of this. They went on a trip to Italy last month and they have been married for 26 years now.

its been a couple of days since that announcement and tbh not much has changed. my parents still talk and do chores together. They dont sleep in the same bed anymore and my dad is scheduled to move out in a month. I just turned 19 so I still live with my parents but I have 0 clue about what is to come.

So any tips?
any clues on what is to come?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

My parents separated when I was around 6 and divorced sometime afterwards. Since you are 19 I would imagine that you probably wouldn't have too much to deal with since most of the annoying shit, such as custody battles, won't apply in your case. It seems like your parents have still been able to maintain a healthy relationship despite the divorce, so you probably have nothing to worry about. Probably won't even take you that long to get over it.

 

[TBONTB]

I divorced when my youngest was 19. Sounds great that your parents seem to still get along. I think the biggest thing that will happen is that you will establish a different relationship with each one of them than what you have now. On your end, it will be good to figure out how you relate to each, for example you won't just go "home", you might go to Moms for dinner and grab a coffee with Dad. And each of them is going to change, it's almost like they will be young adults at the same time you are. So it will be a little odd, I would think. I tried hard to really not talk to my kids about their Dad, I think it's a good way to go forward with two independent relationships as much as possible. Sounds like your parents are pretty convivial - that's great.

And I'm sorry you have this change in your life, I'm sure it will be a weight on you in some ways. Hoping for healing for all

 

[wham311]

My parents divorce didn't really impact me. They sucked together, they were actually much better apart.

Life improved. Everyone's situation is different.

 

[isthisit?]

I divorced when my youngest was 19. Sounds great that your parents seem to still get along. I think the biggest thing that will happen is that you will establish a different relationship with each one of them than what you have now. On your end, it will be good to figure out how you relate to each, for example you won't just go "home", you might go to Moms for dinner and grab a coffee with Dad. And each of them is going to change, it's almost like they will be young adults at the same time you are. So it will be a little odd, I would think. I tried hard to really not talk to my kids about their Dad, I think it's a good way to go forward with two independent relationships as much as possible. Sounds like your parents are pretty convivial - that's great.

And I'm sorry you have this change in your life, I'm sure it will be a weight on you in some ways. Hoping for healing for all

The biggest thing is that I have to choose between them now. I love them both but at some point I have to choose who do I want to live with and who do I want to spend christmas with. That is going to suck.

gf has already offered me to stay at her place so it might be a perfect time to move in with her.

 

[TBONTB]

The biggest thing is that I have to choose between them now. I love them both but at some point I have to choose who do I want to live with and who do I want to spend christmas with. That is going to suck.

gf has already offered me to stay at her place so it might be a perfect time to move in with her.

Sure, the girlfriend angle might work for you.

I hear how you don't want to choose. Also hear how that is emotional work for you, for sure. I send you my support, and agree it sucks.

I hope you can find ways to choose each of them at times. If you live with one, for example, always have Tuesday dinner with the other. Or, if you have Christmas with one, have Christmas Eve with the other. In most cases you can still have two parents, but it will be different than when they were together. I do believe you can have a good future with your parents and send you lots of positive vibes for that