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Waiting for death

Waiting for death

Experienced
Oct 2, 2023
216
Nothing else matters for me, I'm losing the will to live each day. I've tried to help myself, there's a bad feeling in my head telling me that I can't move forward, I can't be anything in life, I can't work, etc. I don't know what it is but I'm 89% sure that I want to kill myself soon. The most difficult part is to pretend that I'm doing okay when I'm not. I'm kind of addicted to self harm, there are days were I put a rope around my neck and when I'm about to pass out I stopped, the other day I drink some 💧 of poison, I would say I'm quite close go away. I can't wait for the new year's holiday. I feel lonely I believe this is why I'm always posting some of feelings here. If I live 2024, it'll be a torture for me. I don't know if I have depression, but I'm always having shitty thoughts of self harm and death.
 
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todeswunsch

todeswunsch

On overtime in life
Oct 19, 2023
160
Yeah, man depression make us feeling that way.
Nothing makes sense, nothing matters.
No pleasure in doing nothing, no motivation to move nor make plans. Hopeless and Helpless.
They say medication and therapy helps to get better.
But I don't really know if I even want to get better.

You said you don't know if you have depression, but it looks like you may have. If you want to get better maybe looking for therapy can help you.
I wish you the best!
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,567
It must be dreadful and tiring being stuck in that situation, it's really understandable just wishing to permanently escape from all the suffering existing brings. But anyway best wishes.
 
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Waiting for death

Waiting for death

Experienced
Oct 2, 2023
216
It must be dreadful and tiring being stuck in that situation, it's really understandable just wishing to permanently escape from all the suffering existing brings. But anyway best wishes.
Thank you so much my friend! I can't wait to catch the bus soon.
 
stilhavinightmares

stilhavinightmares

Warlock
Oct 13, 2022
753
It's really hard. I start canceling appointments and retreating more from everyone but it never goes undetected so usually I just become a vegetable because I won't even have the energy to kill myself or figure out how to do it without anyone intervening.
 
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