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wisteria3

Member
May 5, 2024
45
Does anyone else get to a point where literally nothing distracts from all the horrible feelings and thoughts? Like at least most of the time in the past I could distract myself with a comfort movie/show/book. But literally anything makes me feel dread right now for some reason or another, and sends my thoughts spiraling. Plus having no energy/not eating doesn't help. Sometimes my depression feels like a deep warm blanket of sadness that is hiding me from the world but in an almost comforting way, and other times it feels literally agonizing. I guess the difference is how numb or anxious I am.

I told my friend recently how badly I was doing because I had to back out of a commitment to her. She's the most empathetic person ever, so she was very understanding. She was going to hang out with me today (out of concern, since I am usually very isolated) but got sick, so now that's gone too. I don't know if I'm sad because I feel desperate to talk to someone and like escape my emotions, or relieved because being around people could make me more anxious. Usually being around people makes me feel much better or much worse, so it's hard to know.

Also last week my neighbor (who is an older man, kind of eccentric/hippie vibes, thinks he talks to dead people, very friendly but I don't interact with him anymore for safety reasons after he made some uncomfortable comments lol) knocked on my door to check if I was okay. I'm not usually someone who leaps to conclusions and usually give people the benefit of the doubt. But from what he said I did conclude that he watches me from his window when I leave to walk my dog and that's how he knew I wasn't okay lol. Anyways, I told him I was fine, and even though I was a little creeped out it also felt nice for someone to notice I wasn't okay. I genuinely think isolation is making me go crazy:ahhha:
 
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LonelyFerret

LonelyFerret

Member
Oct 9, 2023
19
Personally I started using cannabis to help suppress the boredom and restlessness that my depression causes. When I'm high I can at least find some enjoyment in activities that I usually enjoy. Makes the time fly by and helps me fall asleep despite my chronic insomnia which are big pluses.
 
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wisteria3

Member
May 5, 2024
45
Personally I started using cannabis to help suppress the boredom and restlessness that my depression causes. When I'm high I can at least find some enjoyment in activities that I usually enjoy. Makes the time fly by and helps me fall asleep despite my chronic insomnia which are big pluses.
I've thought about this - I'd have to go out and get it, but may be worth it. Thanks for the advice :)
 
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final_countdown12

Student
May 7, 2024
190
Drugs, alchool and prostitutes
 
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dreamscape1111

dreamscape1111

all is well
Feb 1, 2023
335
Sit down in silence and just feel everything without judging it, accept the present moment as if you had chosen it. ✨

Meditation is the only remedy, distraction worsens the pain because it doesn't go to the root, the "I-thought" or "ego". 💭

When the changeless Awareness is identifies as Self and the separate finite "self" is not seen as "me", then there's a natural relaxation of the contraction called "I". 🕊️

Now, there's no separation between "me" and "the world", "self" and "other". 🙏

As long as there is a "me" and "other" that is believed, there will be fear. No "me" and "other" ...no fear. 💫

This guided meditation saved my life when I was ready to begin to face everything with self-love and mindfulness. 🧘

 
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LonelyFerret

LonelyFerret

Member
Oct 9, 2023
19
I've thought about this - I'd have to go out and get it, but may be worth it. Thanks for the advice :)
Just be warned that at the end of the day, it's nothing more than a coping mechanism. It helps escape for a bit but it is no solution for clinical depression by any stretch of the imagination. If you decide to give it a try, I'd recommend some form of indica/hybrid, it has a really nice soothing effect. Be aware of the munchies that follow :-)
 
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xinino

xinino

Anti humanist
Mar 31, 2024
399
Scream
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Tortured by evil humans
Sep 24, 2020
35,213
Simply existing causes me lots of dread for certain, simply being conscious and aware is a dreadful feeling. But for me existence is the problem rather than the thoughts of wanting death, in my case it makes sense to feel dread at what lies ahead as existence truly is so hellish with no limit as to how much one can suffer, it terrifies me how this existence could potentially continue for decades. I never would have chose to exist and more than anything I wish I never existed, it disturbs me how a human can potentially exist for so long, only eternal nothingness can bring me peace.
 
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wisteria3

Member
May 5, 2024
45
Meditation is the only remedy, distraction worsens the pain because it doesn't go to the root, the "I-thought" or "ego".
So true, "ego" basically sums up the root cause of my anxieties... and I've tried in the past to change my thought process, but it's hard not to put pressure on myself. I guess I have to keep practicing and eventually I will actually believe it. But I'll definitely try the meditation, any time I read stuff about the "death of the self" or "death of the ego" it is extremely soothing to me. Thanks for the video :)
 
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dreamscape1111

dreamscape1111

all is well
Feb 1, 2023
335
All that's necessary is Witnessing, which is always present, prior to mind activity. 🌤️

With self-love and compassion, counterintuitively, this is one of the most powerful ways to grow and develop. 💚

The channel is about self-actualization, psychology, personal development and spiritual practices that actually work, it's changed my life completely around.

Here's another favorite guided meditation form it: (about self-acceptance) 🫂💚

 
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butyouhavetotry

Member
May 5, 2024
7
Yeah I think it's the ADHD. I get bored and understimulated very easily so hobbies and habits become extremely numbing and tiring to interact with at all, then suddenly your only relief is outside stimulants.
 

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