Story what the fuck is going on here?

[Insomniac]

If you're one of the rare users who have been flowing my rants, you know why I want to kill myself.

I'm essentially pathologically lovesick, my mom is been hospitalised for 5 months, my dad is an extreme alcoholic, I'm 24 and don't have a job.

The worst part for me is that the person I have been in love with for 10 years (he considers me one of his closest friends, nothing more) is going to get married soon and is doing everything he can to get me involved. He KNOWS how J feel about him but he still wants me present at his wedding because he says he wants tge most special people there.

I never knew a human could reach such a level of cruelty and selfishness. He knows I'm suicidal over him and still act nice and sweet with me and refuses to just ignore me.

Even his girlfriend is trying to get me to be her friend. She often reach out to me and use me as a "confident" and relationship therapist.

Just how messed up is this? It's like the need me to have a healthy relationship and me like an idiot I go along.

Jesus fucking christ. I swear to go I'm going to end it. Inhave lost too much fucking self respect. I'm helping them keep their relationship healthy while dying inside and they both know I'm tormented. Wow. Just wow. Just wow.

 

[sharky]

The best you can do is to distance yourself from him. Cut all ties. That's the only way to get rid of your feelings for him. It will take some time but it will go away eventually. But keeping him around isn't really helping. He obviously wants you around as a friend and appreciates you, but I know that when you don't totally distance yourself from the person you have feelings for, you'll just get caught in the loop forever.

 

[FuneralCry]

That person does sound so selfish and insensitive. Other people really are capable of making our lives much worse. I'm sorry that you are in so much pain, I can imagine that it must be unbearable. I wish you the best.

 

[AnnyMyr]

Stop being a masochist. Stop talking to these people.

 

[unraveling]

There is an old saying.... Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option. If he knows you're suicidal because he's marrying someone else and he still wants you at his wedding? whoa, he's VILE. That is one utterly disgusting person -- and you're in love with that? what? Please don't, no one deserves that level of abuse. And I bet he turns that same vileness on his new wife sooner or later. You are well rid. Time to ghost, ghost, ghost. You are just too busy to chat or text or even mention that no you won't be at his wedding. Keep walking forwards other things which are more interesting and beneficial for you, and don't look back. The longer you occupy yourself with other interests, the sooner he'll fade into a distant memory.

 

[OldDrummer]

I couldn't love anyone who doesn't love me. End of. Thanks for playing.

 

[Al_stargate]

Mate, from my experiences best way to get over someone, is to cut ties and find someone else. Might sound cliche but there are other fish in the sea. Nobody is that special trust me. The person you think is most amazing, after you get to know them feelings wane out. I don't know your overall situation but lovesickness is definitely not worth killing yourself over. Enjoy things as much as you can I guess, once it's lost you realize what's gonne.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

The worst part for me is that the person I have been in love with for 10 years (he considers me one of his closest friends, nothing more) is going to get married soon and is doing everything he can to get me involved. He KNOWS how J feel about him but he still wants me present at his wedding because he says he wants tge most special people there.

Even his girlfriend is trying to get me to be her friend. She often reach out to me and use me as a "confident" and relationship therapist.

This is disgusting. This is a big assumption but it sounds like this friend of yours and his girl are feeding off of your misery. Idk a better or more scientific term but "energy vampires" is what I've heard people like them called.

Get the fuck away from them. Now. Even if you end your own life eventually, do it as a free woman, not one attached to these scumbags.

 

[hopelessgirl]

If you're one of the rare users who have been flowing my rants, you know why I want to kill myself.

I'm essentially pathologically lovesick, my mom is been hospitalised for 5 months, my dad is an extreme alcoholic, I'm 24 and don't have a job.

The worst part for me is that the person I have been in love with for 10 years (he considers me one of his closest friends, nothing more) is going to get married soon and is doing everything he can to get me involved. He KNOWS how J feel about him but he still wants me present at his wedding because he says he wants tge most special people there.

I never knew a human could reach such a level of cruelty and selfishness. He knows I'm suicidal over him and still act nice and sweet with me and refuses to just ignore me.

Even his girlfriend is trying to get me to be her friend. She often reach out to me and use me as a "confident" and relationship therapist.

Just how messed up is this? It's like the need me to have a healthy relationship and me like an idiot I go along.

Jesus fucking christ. I swear to go I'm going to end it. Inhave lost too much fucking self respect. I'm helping them keep their relationship healthy while dying inside and they both know I'm tormented. Wow. Just wow. Just wow.

Yes just wow :-( fucking hell. Why dont they leave you alone?

 

[Insomniac]

and you're in love with that? what?

He is always acting compassionate and understanding. He is trying to express that even thought I'm not his chosen one, I'm still one of the most important.

You know what the worst part is? He thinks he is being helpful. He sees himself as this compassionate and emphasising guy who is trying to ease his precious friend's pain.

And this to me is the worse form of evil. He is so self absorbed in seeing himself as a good and compassionate person that he doesn't see how cruel he is to me.

Even if you ask people around me, they all say that he loves me dearly and care about me. Because this is how it looks like. It looks like he care and this us why I'm so desperately in love. He treat me differently, with more kindness and care (after his gf of course).

But this is cruel. This is simply cruel. If he cared about me, he would leave me alone. He would stop being addicted to me loving him. Maybe he is polyamorous? But then I'm certainly not the one he loves the most. Fuck him and his "kindness". Kindness isn't supposed to hurt people.

 

[Baatz]

He and his fiancé may have good intentions, they may not.

You can end it all by telling them for your health you need to cut ties. I know what it is like to love someone and not have them reciprocate and I know what it is like to be strung along for various reasons. Sometimes it's because they value your friendship and care about you but don't understand that you're hurting and that your feelings aren't changing. It's not possible for me to switch off my feelings for someone. Only distance and time help.

You only have to explain to them (and I do mean both of them) once that you can't change the way you feel and prefer to not maintain any relationship with them on any level. Delete phone numbers, unfollow if you have social media, don't return calls, etc. Maybe you'll run into them once in a while, keep interactions brief and polite. Move on.

 

[unraveling]

He is always acting compassionate and understanding. He is trying to express that even thought I'm not his chosen one, I'm still one of the most important.

You know what the worst part is? He thinks he is being helpful. He sees himself as this compassionate and emphasising guy who is trying to ease his precious friend's pain.

And this to me is the worse form of evil. He is so self absorbed in seeing himself as a good and compassionate person that he doesn't see how cruel he is to me.

Even if you ask people around me, they all say that he loves me dearly and care about me. Because this is how it looks like. It looks like he care and this us why I'm so desperately in love. He treat me differently, with more kindness and care (after his gf of course).

But this is cruel. This is simply cruel. If he cared about me, he would leave me alone. He would stop being addicted to me loving him. Maybe he is polyamorous? But then I'm certainly not the one he loves the most. Fuck him and his "kindness". Kindness isn't supposed to hurt people.

He sounds nice. on a superficial level, when you frame it like that. But. It's also true that he knows you're suicidal because he's marrying someone else and supposedly, the "nice" interpretation of this is, he's keeping you close because "he cares about you". Except, how does that work exactly? Does he think you'll become LESS suicidal the more you watch her enjoy the role that you want? <Not a rhetorical question...

I don't know about you but I love chocolate cake and it doesn't love me back, it makes me fat. Having chocolate cake in my face all day long, only makes me want it more, and the sadder and more anxious I get when I can't have it. Putting it away, out of sight, is the only way to forget about it. Replacing it with some other activity, is the only way to move on. This process of moving away from and ignoring what is bad for us, while replacing it with a healthier option, is true for pretty much everything.

But, you've been in love with him for ten years, it's hard, I get that. It's easy to get stuck in routines and patterns of thinking, and hard to get unstuck. Maybe you could think about how great you'll feel, once you can put all these unrequited and suicidal emotions behind you? What do you think? (hugs if you want, this process is hard)

 

[Insomniac]

He sounds nice. on a superficial level, when you frame it like that. But. It's also true that he knows you're suicidal because he's marrying someone else and supposedly, the "nice" interpretation of this is, he's keeping you close because "he cares about you". Except, how does that work exactly? Does he think you'll become LESS suicidal the more you watch her enjoy the role that you want? <Not a rhetorical question...

I don't know about you but I love chocolate cake and it doesn't love me back, it makes me fat. Having chocolate cake in my face all day long, only makes me want it more, and the sadder and more anxious I get when I can't have it. Putting it away, out of sight, is the only way to forget about it. Replacing it with some other activity, is the only way to move on. This process of moving away from and ignoring what is bad for us, while replacing it with a healthier option, is true for pretty much everything.

But, you've been in love with him for ten years, it's hard, I get that. It's easy to get stuck in routines and patterns of thinking, and hard to get unstuck. Maybe you could think about how great you'll feel, once you can put all these unrequited and suicidal emotions behind you? What do you think? (hugs if you want, this process is hard)

Honestly I tried so hard to ignore him but he won't let go of me and I simply can't get myself to just ignore his texts.

Even all of his girlfriends used me as a confident. Idk why but everytime they had issues with him they'd reach out to me first and use me as a relationship therapist. This is also how he uses me. It's like his relationship with othe girls can't work without my blessings.

It's a weird entanglement. His fiancé called today at 6pm complaining about hiw he never say " I love you" and she says that she feels like she is the one trying in the relationship.and that she doesn't feel like he loves her as as she loves him.

All of his gfs have had this same issues with him. He is apparently emotionally distant with them, but not with me. He is not even.otionally dista t with me but he is not in love with me either. I say that because he never asked me out and he only ever joked once about marrying me.

Anyway his gf is popular on social media (more than 90k followers on IG) and I only have 60 followers. But she has taken a weird interest in me and is always calling me and using me as a confident and desperately trying to be my friend.

I really don't know if what is going in this guys mind but fuck him. I'll die anyway so I don't have to care anymore.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

when did you reveal your interest for him? He is using you for his emotions, and others for the romance and physicality. You need to block him and delete him. I can't believe he's been doing that to you for so many years. And I don't understand his gfs, or fiancé this is just wrong

Do you think you will have the strength to cut the interaction with him?

 

[NSA]

is gf is popular on social media (more than 90k followers on IG) and I only have 60 followers. But she has taken a weird interest in me and is always calling me and using me as a confident and desperately trying to be my friend.

Even all of his girlfriends used me as a confident.

Makes me wonder if she's beginning to see the writing on the wall too, without quite knowing what she's looking at. Maybe hoping you as his "friend" can "explain" him.

This guy def has his own issues, which are not your problem.

 

[Fre_diE]

Cut off that relationship and take care of yourself for like a day or week or more and see if it helps... i mean have you tried your life without him? It might make you feel worse too, i get that. But how do you know if you don't try? None of us here have anything to lose. I wish you the best and you deserve some peace if not respect

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

If you're one of the rare users who have been flowing my rants, you know why I want to kill myself.

I'm essentially pathologically lovesick, my mom is been hospitalised for 5 months, my dad is an extreme alcoholic, I'm 24 and don't have a job.

The worst part for me is that the person I have been in love with for 10 years (he considers me one of his closest friends, nothing more) is going to get married soon and is doing everything he can to get me involved. He KNOWS how J feel about him but he still wants me present at his wedding because he says he wants tge most special people there.

I never knew a human could reach such a level of cruelty and selfishness. He knows I'm suicidal over him and still act nice and sweet with me and refuses to just ignore me.

Even his girlfriend is trying to get me to be her friend. She often reach out to me and use me as a "confident" and relationship therapist.

Just how messed up is this? It's like the need me to have a healthy relationship and me like an idiot I go along.

Jesus fucking christ. I swear to go I'm going to end it. Inhave lost too much fucking self respect. I'm helping them keep their relationship healthy while dying inside and they both know I'm tormented. Wow. Just wow. Just wow.

You need to disengage yourself from the situation.

 

[waitingforrest]

Even all of his girlfriends used me as a confident. Idk why but everytime they had issues with him they'd reach out to me first and use me as a relationship therapist.

All of his gfs have had this same issues with him.

I really don't know if what is going in this guys mind but fuck him. I'll die anyway so I don't have to care anymore.

That is just so cruel of him to treat you like that regardless of your feelings for him. I agree, fuck him.

Given his history with his past relationships, he has issues with expressing emotions, even to those who he claims to be the "one". I don't want to speculate, but it just feels like this guy is presenting only the good sides.

I don't always agree that "actions speak louder than words", but he doesn't treat you well or seem to notice the effects of his actions on you.

It's a bitter pill to swallow, but seriously, fuck him. It's not going to be easy, especially with the events happening in your life. The times people want love the most is often when they don't ever get enough. It makes people desperate for even the tiniest sliver of attention, it did for me at least.

It can be scary to cut off someone that you known for a long time, sometimes it can bring sadness and grief, but also relief as well.

 

[Foresight]

I don't like that he's not only stringing you along but messing with the girls he dates. This one is insecure even going into a marriage.

There's no way this guy is worth your life. Spend more time with your family. I'm sure he's not the only reason you're ready to die but I'd try to take the haze of this situation out of the equation before you make a decision.

 

[Insomniac]

Blow your brains out during the ceremony

I was honestly thinking of killing myself on that specific day just to ruin it for him.

 

[Cathy Ames]

Just how messed up is this? It's like the need me to have a healthy relationship and me like an idiot I go along.

This is extremely messed up, toxic behavior. You didn't ask for advice, but if you DID, I would strongly suggest going no contact with this person. Get a new phone number so there will not be any texts there for you to have to ignore. Yes, this will initially totally SUCK for you (trust me), but given time it will suck less and less.

I was honestly thinking of killing myself on that specific day just to ruin it for him.

Please don't. You're a relatively young person, and this guy has been messing with your mind for a substantial portion of your life as of right now. Do not give him this power over you. He's not worth it. You have a lot to offer, and after you "detox" from him, you could find love again, with someone who wants and deserves you.

 

[Pluto]

Attention needs to go towards meeting new people. He may be narcissistic, in which case his 'love' is fraudulent in all ways.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

If you're one of the rare users who have been flowing my rants, you know why I want to kill myself.

I'm essentially pathologically lovesick, my mom is been hospitalised for 5 months, my dad is an extreme alcoholic, I'm 24 and don't have a job.

The worst part for me is that the person I have been in love with for 10 years (he considers me one of his closest friends, nothing more) is going to get married soon and is doing everything he can to get me involved. He KNOWS how J feel about him but he still wants me present at his wedding because he says he wants tge most special people there.

I never knew a human could reach such a level of cruelty and selfishness. He knows I'm suicidal over him and still act nice and sweet with me and refuses to just ignore me.

Even his girlfriend is trying to get me to be her friend. She often reach out to me and use me as a "confident" and relationship therapist.

Just how messed up is this? It's like the need me to have a healthy relationship and me like an idiot I go along.

Jesus fucking christ. I swear to go I'm going to end it. Inhave lost too much fucking self respect. I'm helping them keep their relationship healthy while dying inside and they both know I'm tormented. Wow. Just wow. Just wow.

It sounds like you need to remove yourself from your current life, which sounds like CTB, but could also be moving away and starting a new life, cutting all contact with them all, get off social media, delete and block phone numbers, build yourself a new life somewhere else and get that fucking self-respect back - if you're the kind of person who needs love and relationships in your life, well there are millions of others out there who are also lonely, possibly waiting and hoping for someone like you to move to their town and get to know you - most of the people we know and grow up with, we only know by pure coincidence; same town, same school, same college, same workplace - had your parents moved somewhere else when you were young, you wouldn't even know most of the people you do, you'd know other people instead - this Tim Minchin song sums it up rather comically...

 

[downsolong]

this sounds like a great situation for transitioning from suicidal ideation to homicidal. not that i would recommend that.

 

[diyCTB]

Why do you feel the need to suffer for someone who doesn't care about you? Reduce meetings to a minimum to slowly get them out of your mind. Would you need people in your life that you will feel the lack and low self-esteem around with?