What stops you from CTB - fear of death or fear of pain or something else

[Wait-Bus]

As long as it's not super painful, I can handle discomfort. So that is not really stopping me.

I know the fear of death will disappear when I am close to passing out and I just say to myself "just let it happen."

I am just waiting for the signal in my head that says "it's time"

 

[Hope:-)]

Fear of pain. I have almost no fear of death- I'm actually quite excited for it. I also never seem to plan the method properly. Having a decent location is also something I'm trying to secure

 

[FuneralCry]

Certainly not fear of death. I really look forward to being dead, I believe that there is nothing after this and to me non existence is ideal. The thought of being gone comforts me.

To actually answer the question, what keeps me here is limited access to ctb methods and in general just the fear of something going wrong if I tried to attempt. Ctb certainly isn't easy and the thought of failing ctb is so horrifying.

 

[Wait-Bus]

Fear of pain. I have almost no fear of death- I'm actually quite excited for it. I also never seem to plan the method properly. Having a decent location is also something I'm trying to secure

Thank you for this comment.

I agree the fear of "REAL" pain is real for me. I figure I spend more time thinking of the 15 seconds it would take to pass out - than the eternity that follows.

Certainly not fear of death. I really look forward to being dead, I believe that there is nothing after this and to me non existence is ideal. The thought of being gone comforts me.

To actually answer the question, what keeps me here is limited access to ctb methods and in general just the fear of something going wrong if I tried to attempt. Ctb certainly isn't easy and the thought of failing ctb is so horrifying.

Thanks for the comment

Yes my fear of being found "save" that leads to a life that is worse than it is now, is part of the equation I calculate. Not being found too soon is something I think about.

 

[TheManIllNeverBe]

My cats, and my partner. They show me so much love, in spite of the horrible place that I'm in mentally and emotionally, that for the moment I keep grinding it out just for them. I also suppose I want to convince myself that I have tried all paths to recovery, and come up wanting. I've regretted much lesser things in the past than ending my own life, and want to make sure that I have exhausted all possibilities before I take that final step. I know there will come a time where it's finally too much, though... and that's why I have my exit bag rig hidden away in the basement. As I've seen with other people on the forum, it seems like having my way out ready and waiting for me is something that, for now, gives me the comfort to fight on. Knowing that when I have finally had enough, it will be there waiting for me.

 

[GermanHanger]

Fear of dying alone and of failing

 

[Al0neAlwayz]

Fear of failing, being found too soon... Also, don't really want to die here where I live, alone, but no other options... Can't travel.

 

[Wait-Bus]

My cats, and my partner. They show me so much love, in spite of the horrible place that I'm in mentally and emotionally, that for the moment I keep grinding it out just for them. I also suppose I want to convince myself that I have tried all paths to recovery, and come up wanting. I've regretted much lesser things in the past than ending my own life, and want to make sure that I have exhausted all possibilities before I take that final step. I know there will come a time where it's finally too much, though... and that's why I have my exit bag rig hidden away in the basement. As I've seen with other people on the forum, it seems like having my way out ready and waiting for me is something that, for now, gives me the comfort to fight on. Knowing that when I have finally had enough, it will be there waiting for me.

Thank you for that glimpse of your life

I do too keep my exit bag ( I call my bus bag) handy as well - its a different method than yours - but I relate to the need to know it's there if I need it.

 

[Silent.Tears]

As long as it's not super painful, I can handle discomfort. So that is not really stopping me.

I know the fear of death will disappear when I am close to passing out and I just say to myself "just let it happen."

I am just waiting for the signal in my head that says "it's time"

Ofcourse the fear of pain, and also fear of becoming an invalid or something as a result of failed ctb attempt, basically just ending up in even worse situation than I'm in now. Life can keep getting worse and worse, it's like endless black hole

 

[Wasabi]

Pain. I'm afraid to feel a lot of pain. Although, my life is also pain. This is a terrible joke. There is also the fear of failure. Then the second attempt will try to prevent as much as possible.

 

[👁️👃👁️]

Causing others pain. I'm not afraid of dying.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Fear of pain, fear of failing and the uncertainty of what- if anything comes after death creates fear in me also.

 

[Mofreeko]

I dunno really. It doesn't feel right yet.

 

[hamvil]

I am not actively trying now. I would like to hang out a bit on this forum, maybe in a couple of months, I will see how to do it practically. I am also checking some clinics in swizz to see if they would accept me.

When I tried to jump I was too scared to move forward. Now I do not have access to a place as good as the previous one, but I would have the satisfaction of jumping from the workplace (which sucks).

 

[AnonymousS]

As long as it's not super painful, I can handle discomfort. So that is not really stopping me.

I know the fear of death will disappear when I am close to passing out and I just say to myself "just let it happen."

I am just waiting for the signal in my head that says "it's time"

I have no fear of death, i found after i attempted the first time, all fear of death vanished. I suffer from chronic fatigue as well as severe depression, and the exhaustion along with my cognitive slowing prevents me right now. If i had access to something like barbiturates, or opiates i would be gone. I don't want to screw it up, and end up in an even worse state.

 

[Biryani-King]

Hope, I keep telling myself if I can make it trought one day,week,month etc. everthing will be fine eventually.
Deep down I know its false hope.

 

[hamvil]

Well tbh now I am a bit drunk and I feel it would be easier to jump, bit less scared of not existing anymore even considering how much my life sucks.

 

[1000winds]

fear of failing.. i have all the essentials for my sn ticket but i cant shake off the feeling that i might fail

 

[akirat9]

fear failing, forced alive on machine against will :( more suffer

 

[outrider567]

Nothing is stopping me(after my brother succumbs to his lung cancer),no fear of death, no fear of failure

 

[Lily (Osako)]

Fear of pain. But mostly waiting for my son to be on his own feet.

 

[Damun]

Fear of failing and ending up as a vegetable with brain damage, becoming an even greater burden on my family.

 

[Wait-Bus]

Fear of pain. But mostly waiting for my son to be on his own feet.

Thank you for that comment - you summed a lot in only a few words " waiting for my son to be on his own feet."

Wish you well

 

[Ecka-26]

My burden I will leave for my family and close friend's after I'm gone.

 

[Wait-Bus]

My burden I will leave for my family and close friend's after I'm gone.

I really feel that as well - and I am not sure how I deal with it before the event. It hurts

 

[spectraltease]

As long as it's not super painful, I can handle discomfort. So that is not really stopping me.

I know the fear of death will disappear when I am close to passing out and I just say to myself "just let it happen."

I am just waiting for the signal in my head that says "it's time"

I plan to kill myself with a train, and its a sure thing without any pain when I do it how I plan. I dont fear pain, beacuse the change to survive that, what I plan is very very low.
I also dont fear death. I see death as my freedom. Its a little scary plan but it works. I have some time left and I will plan it well.

 

[Lullaby]

The process of dying scares me the most. To know I'll be here one minute and gone within a few…it's comforting but also freaky.

I know that if I have any time to think about it, I'll fail whatever I'm doing. I've accepted that this happens and it's natural, but that window of time is what makes me nervous.

 

[lyles]

Leaving my family. I am assured with everything else, death is a comforting thing for me that I wish for every day. But I do not want my family to experience such grief as I know they will.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I would be devastating my family. If they were to come across my dead body in my room, they would be dealing with trauma for years to come. I do not want to inflict that upon them, they certainly do not deserve it.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

and its a sure thing without any pain

No method is 100%. Please don't fall into that mistaken belief.