My playlist is all over the place but this is it:
Billy Joel - Tomorrow Is Today
This song was actually adapted from a suicide note Billy Joel wrote before an unsuccessful attempt. It sums up my feelings well and actually kinda advocates for suicide.
Act II: Sugarplum Fairy and Cavalier Pas de Deux · George Balanchine's The Nutcracker
(I know it's kind of cringe to kill yourself to a song from THE NUTCRACKER but this song is so intense and meaningful sounding.)
Ein deutsches Requiem, Op. 45: II. Denn alles Fleisch es ist wie Gras · Sir Simon Rattle · Berliner Philharmoniker · Rundfunkchor Berlin
I found Brahm's Ein Duetches Requiem on a random record while in a record store and hearing its intensity and reading the lyrics it immediately became important to me. This part is movement two, the lyrics sung are from the bible: "All people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall," I agree with this message and it speaks to me. Eventually everyone withers away.
Enya - Carribean Blue
I love this song, complex harmonies and beautiful rhythm, very peaceful, makes me dream of the next world.
Enya - Afer Ventus
Same as above
Katie Jane Garside - Roadkill
A song about a kid getting run over, chilling, matches my mood.
Ave Maria (Franz Schubert) · Andrea Montepaone · Ensemble Concentus Vocis
Makes me sad and happy at the same time. Makes me excited to ascend.
I Shall Be Released - The Band
About a guy who has spent a long time in jail who is waiting for his release. Relateable.
Alphaville - Forever Young
If you die young you are kind of forever young.
A Whiter Shade of Pale - Procol Harum
Funeral vibes, love the organ, fits my mood.
Real Life - Send me an Angel
Kind of a random inclusion but the desperation of the singer in the chorus for some kind of remedy to his problems is relatable.
Billy Joel - Downeaster Alexa
Again kind of random, but the grim tone and idea that there is no room left for you in the world matches my mood.