AmericanMary
Mage
- Apr 30, 2024
- 537
I've only been on the website for a few weeks. I just wanted to share a few takeaways from this website.
Originally I joined to learn how to do a partial suspension correctly. My plan was to rent a hotel room & have the materials needed for SWB, partial and full suspensions. If all of these failed I was going to just jump off the balcony and hope for the best.
This is the first time I have ever seriously attempted CTB. Ofc I have thoughts about doing it for years. But I've never done anything with those thoughts.
In the past couple of weeks I have gone from a place of anger, just wanting to be gone to a place of peace. I am still very much going to CTB soon. But I am not impulsive or angry anymore. I am at peace with my choice. I am looking forward to my day to CTB. To finally be able to rest.
Before really deep diving this website, I just wanted out. I didn't care how, I didn't care who it affected. But this is not the correct way to CTB.
Obviously this is ultimately your life & you should do whatever you think is best. Nobody can guide you through this. But, here are a few things I have learned/realized over the last few weeks, because of SaSu.
*It is wrong to traumatize others who did not consent to being present. Jumping off a hotel is dumb. That will affect so many innocent lives.
*the method lowkey matters. Looking at stats of successes changed my opinion. For ex- cutting have a 1% success rate. A few weeks ago I would have 100% sliced my wrists. I wouldn't ever consider it now.
*SI is a bitch
*this is the last thing I am EVER going to do. I want it to be special, peaceful. Not rushed and stressed.
* research research research. Know everything about your chosen method. Literally read everythibg. Ask questions. In my personal opinion, it is better to have a prolonged successful attempt than a rushed failed attempt.
*nobody on this website is going to tell you what to do. Everything is your choice. People will support your choice, but ultimately not convince you to do one thing or the other.
*there ARE people like me. I've never talked to anyone but a therapist about mental health really. But there are other people who are going through it too. People here understand.
Originally I joined to learn how to do a partial suspension correctly. My plan was to rent a hotel room & have the materials needed for SWB, partial and full suspensions. If all of these failed I was going to just jump off the balcony and hope for the best.
This is the first time I have ever seriously attempted CTB. Ofc I have thoughts about doing it for years. But I've never done anything with those thoughts.
In the past couple of weeks I have gone from a place of anger, just wanting to be gone to a place of peace. I am still very much going to CTB soon. But I am not impulsive or angry anymore. I am at peace with my choice. I am looking forward to my day to CTB. To finally be able to rest.
Before really deep diving this website, I just wanted out. I didn't care how, I didn't care who it affected. But this is not the correct way to CTB.
Obviously this is ultimately your life & you should do whatever you think is best. Nobody can guide you through this. But, here are a few things I have learned/realized over the last few weeks, because of SaSu.
*It is wrong to traumatize others who did not consent to being present. Jumping off a hotel is dumb. That will affect so many innocent lives.
*the method lowkey matters. Looking at stats of successes changed my opinion. For ex- cutting have a 1% success rate. A few weeks ago I would have 100% sliced my wrists. I wouldn't ever consider it now.
*SI is a bitch
*this is the last thing I am EVER going to do. I want it to be special, peaceful. Not rushed and stressed.
* research research research. Know everything about your chosen method. Literally read everythibg. Ask questions. In my personal opinion, it is better to have a prolonged successful attempt than a rushed failed attempt.
*nobody on this website is going to tell you what to do. Everything is your choice. People will support your choice, but ultimately not convince you to do one thing or the other.
*there ARE people like me. I've never talked to anyone but a therapist about mental health really. But there are other people who are going through it too. People here understand.
