Story Anime/media enjoyment.

[finalizemydemise]

Everytime I commit to ctb i want to finish as many animes/movies/tv series but I learned a critical flaw. Outside of reading at least for me, I can't watch things and finish when i'm depressed. This was the main reason I have kept myself alive I can't believe I overlooked this. What I do is focus as much as I can about being happy so I can finish up and by a few weeks I'm no longer frustrated and able to get by for a few months and cycle repeats. If I had money I would've just set up MAiD (medically assisted death) and then it would be alot easier to process it. I believe my brain registers the act of physically doing the work to ctb as a drag so it chooses to not and i'm only thinking of ctb when I am depressed. When we are depressed we think of everything as a chore… how great the only reason i'm alive is cause of laziness.
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