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mentalhealthfighter

mentalhealthfighter

Lets win together
Jun 15, 2021
362
For me personally, I was okay with being numb and only being able to enjoy books. But now that being numb has turned into agony and I cant enjoy anything I feel like I'm in full survival mode. And I dont see the point in playing survival mode. So that's whats pushing me to the edge right now. What is or will push you to the edge to CTB?
 
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Reactions: BeautifulMosaics, FuneralCry, lobster salad and 6 others
H

HappyForever?

Love from the deepest dream
Feb 14, 2021
326
Every day loneliness stemming from unattractiveness pushes me closer to the edge. It is only a matter of time before I ctb.
 
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Reactions: Ch92921, mentalhealthfighter, Stuckaf2 and 3 others
chocolatebar

chocolatebar

Paragon
Jul 11, 2021
974
For me personally, I was okay with being numb and only being able to enjoy books. But now that being numb has turned into agony and I cant enjoy anything I feel like I'm in full survival mode. And I dont see the point in playing survival mode. So that's whats pushing me to the edge right now. What is or will push you to the edge to CTB?
Remembering my age, looking accidentally at my reflection and seeing younger people doing all the things I never did.
 
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Reactions: deflationary, mentalhealthfighter, lobster salad and 1 other person
Maaizr

Maaizr

LIGHTSTEALER
Aug 2, 2021
148
loneliness more and more as i get older, but its all gravy imma wrap it up and ctb soon
 
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Reactions: mentalhealthfighter, lobster salad, Journeytoletgo and 1 other person
callme

callme

I'm a loose cannon - I bang all the time.
Aug 15, 2021
1,234
How can anybody stand this damn world
 
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Reactions: sasshimi, Maaizr, mentalhealthfighter and 2 others
back_to_oblivion

back_to_oblivion

Expired
Aug 30, 2021
341
Hopelessness, having no prospects, nothing on the horizon.
 
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Reactions: mentalhealthfighter, lobster salad, callme and 1 other person
callme

callme

I'm a loose cannon - I bang all the time.
Aug 15, 2021
1,234
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  • Yay!
Reactions: mentalhealthfighter, lobster salad, HappyForever? and 1 other person
again_noidea

again_noidea

Experienced
Apr 22, 2021
254
Physical pain. Maybe I will finally kill myself because of a toothache.
 
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Reactions: mentalhealthfighter, lobster salad, HappyForever? and 1 other person
callme

callme

I'm a loose cannon - I bang all the time.
Aug 15, 2021
1,234
Physical pain. Maybe I will finally kill myself because of a toothache.
Upper teeth are connected to vital neuro connections and can indeed kill you.
 
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spiralling

spiralling

Experienced
Oct 1, 2021
200
All the stupid decisions I've made in my life has pushed me to the edge.
 
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Reactions: mentalhealthfighter, lobster salad, HappyForever? and 1 other person
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,291
It is difficult to ctb as we are programmed to survive. I believe I will need to reach a point of desperation to be able to exit this world. At the moment, I do have constant feelings of dread and everything is pretty much hopeless. However I believe I will get the push to actually ctb when my health gets worse. The human body is a prison and by that point I will be desperate to escape.
 
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I

idiot_dad

Member
Sep 1, 2020
53
Chronic physical pain, and embarrassment / shame for my decisions.
 
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Reactions: LivvenDe and mentalhealthfighter
K

Kennish

Specialist
Aug 17, 2021
379
For me personally, I was okay with being numb and only being able to enjoy books. But now that being numb has turned into agony and I cant enjoy anything I feel like I'm in full survival mode. And I dont see the point in playing survival mode. So that's whats pushing me to the edge right now. What is or will push you to the edge to CTB?
Ocd, anxiety, not being able to buy clothes and wear them and feel comfortable. Depression also. It's a matter of time before I do it. Need to save up for N. When that's done and I get it, it will be a matter of time. Choosing the right moment to do it. I can't live in this life anymore. I always wanted to, but it is just not my destiny. I don't feel at home in this body and this life.
 
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Reactions: mentalhealthfighter
mistersinister

mistersinister

Member
Sep 16, 2021
23
Low GPA. Depression.
 
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honig

honig

tired
Sep 28, 2021
19
I always knew I'd end up taking my own life. I feel like ever since I was a kid I was just waiting for courage to do it. I think that this made me push people away because I felt like I'm here only for short period of time and there's no point in making any attachments. I isolated myself from friends when things got too 'close', refused to ever date, did everything I can to self sabotage (drinking, binge eating, quitting jobs for no reason, not trying because I never cared about anything). I've been given chances that I neved deserved. It was like I'm done with life and then someone pushes me to do something good, and I was like "okay, I guess I can do this" and it's been ongoing, lol.
But I'm making the right choice ending it. I compare it to ripping band-aid; better to do it fast once and for good than doing it slowly and painfully
 
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Reactions: sasshimi, Journeytoletgo, BeautifulMosaics and 1 other person
S

Stuckaf2

Stuck
Aug 17, 2021
44
Everything at this point is a trigger
 
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Reactions: mentalhealthfighter
L

LivvenDe

Student
Sep 22, 2021
113
Whenever I am reminded that we will eventually die anyway and that all the effort life demands is in vain.

Whenever I see people suffering or making others suffer - specially making animals suffer.
 
  • Love
Reactions: callme and mentalhealthfighter
callme

callme

I'm a loose cannon - I bang all the time.
Aug 15, 2021
1,234
You mean who, not what. You will push me.
 
forgotten15

forgotten15

Specialist
Aug 24, 2021
332
Knowing things will never change and that if I don't make the courage to ctb soon i'll have to live with this emptiness many many years from now. This horrorfies me because I am so so tired of feeling like this and as of today i think i kinda reached a limit. I just can't do this anymore, i am tired and just want peace, just want out of this world i never wanted to be in. I want to be and feel nothing. I really hope i'll soon get the courage to ctb
 
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Reactions: sasshimi, Journeytoletgo, mentalhealthfighter and 1 other person
CaliCatCharlie

CaliCatCharlie

Nature's Mockery
May 28, 2021
70
Being a complete loser in life, loneliness and knowing I'll never be anything in life.
 
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Reactions: mentalhealthfighter and callme
Sprite_Geist

Sprite_Geist

NULL
May 27, 2020
1,595
  • People who believe that a job, and a job alone, determines an individuals whole personality, principles and arbitrary "worth" or value. This is especially angering when it is a person in a so-called "white-collar" position who is being judgemental.

  • People who often times refuse to even acknowledge another persons existence, and only begin to show concern for their well-being when they think that the person who they ignore could be seriously ill, or dying.

  • Any behaviour which I think is virtue signalling.
 
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Reactions: mentalhealthfighter

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