Discussion What makes you live another day?

[resteasy3232]

Obligation. I don't want it to upset my Dad. I suspect fear will hold me back eventually too but I so hope I will overcome it.

i understand, same here

a part of me is clinging on to the hope that my life will get better and a part of me is scared of the unknown.

Theres never a way to know sadly, but i hope it gets better for you also

 

[LostLily]

The fear of spreading the pain when I'm gone

 

[PlannedforPeru]

Neither has my SN or a better, more accessible method came yet so I have to wait. Fucking hate how I have to live through another thanksgiving.

 

[Malfunction]

No feasible method for me so far.
Too much potential for failure which could reward me with being force drugged and imprisoned. That punishment could be permanent if I screw up.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

The hope (forgive this blasphemy) of one day breaking free from the shadow of my toxic, narcissistic parents. Only when that happens will I be able to fully and securely experience what life has to offer.

 

[TAW122]

The lack of the right circumstances and timing to CTB. I always have CTB on the table as an valid option, and perpetually miserable. I just know in the long term CTB (barring sudden death or unexpected circumstances such as accidents and severe debility and illnesses) is what I'm going to go with. I have no interest in recovery or living a long life, I want out of this sentient prison that I'm a part of.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Lost the reason to live recently. Saying goodbyes, without anyone knowing it's forever. Hanging in till I can leave without obligations, financially and workwise. Looking for information to decide on the best way for me to ctb. So, I guess living for now is just automatic.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Fear of bad afterlife

Family

Coaching high school wrestling

Pet reptiles

 

[drella]

i need to get everything perfect

 

[dinosavr]

I have a twin and I hate the idea of her staying here and constantly reminding everyone of me just because we look alike. That's not fair to her in general

 

[TheHolySword]

My pets are a huge part of it but I know my parents would take care of them. The biggest reason is my younger brother, he's the best part of my life and if not for him I would have been gone a long time ago. Unfortunately even that is not enough, and what's really keeping me going is that my life insurance doesn't pay out for suicide until I've been covered under it for 2 years. Once I reach that mark I don't think there's anything that will keep me here

 

[Red Moon]

Hobby's and interests aswell as the family.

I also don't know what's going to happen after this if there's some kind of afterlife.

Regardless, I will have to go through with it sooner or later.

 

[Codename_Joryu]

I can't change anything in my life if I'm dead, that's why I have to keep going no matter how hard it is.

 

[lawlietsph]

My pets. My little shetland pony. I promised her that one day she'll get a buddy. I fucking hate myself for breaking my promise every single day. I am broke and I can't afford another horse. She is a rescue. I am selfish, I can't sell her. Love her too much. She would be better off without me.

 

[wealthion]

My cowardice.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

It's not that there's something keeping me here, but rather that I'm desperately trying to find something. Unfortunately, I can tell I am running out of time, and that I will likely attempt again soon.

 

[simonttt]

The habit of work is the only thing that keeps my feet on earth. On a deeper level, killing myself would be like killing my father

 

[inpursuitofpeace]

The fact that I end up falling asleep each night (rather than attempting) and my pets

 

[shrizoid]

A fear of hell and the lack of the proper material to ctb with

 

[danfritz]

My parents. It would destroy them to know I CTB. once they are gone, I'll reassess and decide what to do.

 

[areyousafe??]

Corwardice

 

[dontwakemeup]

After a few unsuccessful methods, I've given up. If I fail again, I will be in so much trouble. Also, I'm terrified of hell, but if I had a pill that was a guarantee, I'd take it and hope there is no afterlife.

 

[Lethargic8468]

Delusion & egotism. Despite all of the ways life has spit in my face and made clear the many ways in which I am inferior to others. I live on because there remains in me a weak voice that tells me I am special and that I do indeed deserve the things that I most deeply desire. When I was a child, it was simple for me to maintain this delusion, as doing so only necessitated that I retain hope for a more fulfilling adulthood. I thought that as I aged, I might perhaps grow taller or become handsome. These thoughts were of course the product of delusion, the same delusion that compels me to continue living to this day. I grew up observing happy couples and watching movies / TV shows that instilled in me the expectation that love was something all people get to experience. Certainly, it had not dawned upon my young self that many of us would not be so lucky as to experience these types of stereotypical relationships.

As an adult, it has been made perfectly clear to me that I will never be desirable in the way that the deluded voice inside me had forever envisioned. Nary may a match be made on the dating apps, much in the same way that there exists very few women who dare even gaze at my unfortunate countenance for more than a passing moment. My good health and constantly increasing net-wealth continue to fuel my delusional inner self. I tell myself that if I make enough money, there may some day arrive someone who cares not for the way in which I appear, but rather for that which I may provide. However, as the strength of the voice becomes weakened, my will to continue living diminishes accordingly. I am aware that should my circumstances not change substantially in the near future, then I will be left no choice but to catch the next bus.

 

[Broken247]

Fear of Hell or incurring worse karma in the next life. SI is also a big factor. I don't want to go from bad to worse.

 

[newstart2000]

I can't find a peaceful way out. Sorry for all my families

 

[hereornot]

Work. I work every morning. Few hours every day that i don't think CTB.

 

[badomen]

Not knowing of a good place to ethically CTB.

 

[Szarur-abi]

Monster energy, pizza and most important: Mom would be sad

 

[blvck]

My still beating heart giving function to my body. That's it., my body is keeping itself alive but there's nothing inside.

 

[ChaosWandering]

I don't even care about my death, my mind is in a state of paralysis, apathy and laziness make me not even want to get out of bed, I want to sleep all the time. My date was supposed to be this month but with this situation it looks like I'll have to postpone it again.

This is exactly how I feel. All I want is to sleep.