Discussion What made you want to start recovering?

[pinstripe]

What made you want to get better? What made the future something you want to see?

 

[m1v]

my mom, she's already been thru a lot and i dont want her to hurt more or blame herself. And video games. What about you?

 

[SorrowfulDrugUser]

Drugs im ngl I've been doing benzos like no tomorrow lol I already know my time to ctb is soon and I already have my suicide kit prepared (fentanyl, multiple nitazenes, and multiple long-lasting and rapid-acting benzos) but the only thing that has made me not do it is how much I'll miss doing benzos and drugs in general lmao

 

[SASU-KE]

Drugs im ngl I've been doing benzos like no tomorrow lol I already know my time to ctb is soon and I already have my suicide kit prepared (fentanyl, multiple nitazenes, and multiple long-lasting and rapid-acting benzos) but the only thing that has made me not do it is how much I'll miss doing benzos and drugs in general lmao

You know what's funny? One of the reasons I've been afraid to try drugs is that I'm afraid I will get addicted to them and live just for the sake of doing for them,lol.

As for the original post. I believe life is precious. I hate my life. But my general perception is that life is precious. I also do not believe in rebirth or reincarnation. So this is our only shot. So I don't want to end it easily.So it's a vicious cycle of doing things to improve myself and making things better, but hating everything anyway.

 

[never mind me]

Basically just the fact that I couldn't get myself to ctb despite feeling horrible. I never wanted to be a person that is giving in to being miserable without doing anything to change it or ctb to end it. I watched my father being like that, depressed as fuck, blaming me for it, but not doing anything himself to get better, nor having the courage to ctb. So I decided early on that I am not going to be like that.

 

[Sphinxi]

I realized I don't really have it in me. Suicide is just a way to retreat from reality and from the pressure that living requires, particularly the requirement to exert yourself and impact your environment. Thoughts of suicide can provide solace on a bad night, but I will never go through with it, so I might as well try at life.

Don't do drugs btw

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I'm very attuned to spiritual things, and a sort of clairvoyance I have has given me the hope and strength to at least attempt to get better. So far it's been working pretty well in my favour.

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

What made you want to get better? What made the future something you want to see?

Nothing. I just didnt suffer enough to kill myself yet and wanted to adopt delusions that make staying in this shitty existence a bit more bearable

Put my survival instinct in autopilot while i tried to do that

 

[FoxSauce]

My sisters and parents I dont wanna disspoint them or hurt them anymore.

I wont lie it still is with me everyday and every second of it but Im trying to keep myself busy and thats been working. Well sometimes it can be a double edge sword tho.

 

[pinstripe]

Anyone without parents have input?

 

[yume_]

What made you want to get better? What made the future something you want to see?

Honestly because I want to be able to say that at least I tried. That I didn't just give in completely and that I didn't go out without "putting up a fight".

And video games.

Based imo. And music!

 

[Gone&Over]

Realising that I'm most likely never going to go through with suicide. So I may as well try to get better instead of doing nothing and being miserable all the time.

 

[Mrs. T-800]

I have a husband I love, and my parents, and my grandparents. I have a little goddaughter who has the world ahead of her and I want to be there for her. Maybe my own child someday, if it would happen that way.
This is my second go at life – you can see about my past life sometimes in my comments – but it is one that I found love in, and I know my past life in, and that is very precious to me.
I want to make things better in the world for people as well. If I can try to uplift, that will make me feel good. It's not about my benefit but for others. I want to be a woman who lives for others' lives, even in a small way, and to inspire, do, and be good in the world.
I watch the streetlamps come on in the evening (it invigorates me like nothing else), I count mushrooms in the yard in the morning, I love my morning coffee and newspaper and radio show, I like to gather flowers and seashells and random interesting papers and trinkets. I live for small, low-stakes things.
I am passively suicidal and sad. Part of it will never go away. But it is part of what makes me, me, and this me can be a me that lives.

 

[Proxycake]

Life is so short. And I'm surrounded by people who love me; I've been looking at homes with my lover and the less I think about negativity … the more it goes away. I sleep easy. Things feel alright. The world heals and mends and I feel surprisingly … good. There's a good feeling to saving money, knowing it will end me up in a home with somebody I care for.

 

[Kenny]

I'm scared of what's on the other side, and also scared that I'll fail an attempt and end up somewhere I don't want to be. I also think that I might eventually make it somewhere someday, not sure how, but we can dream.

Oh, and romance. I'm still fairly young, so I want to have a good relationship eventually. My problem is that I seriously over-invest into relationships, and when they don't work out my mind feels twisted. Depression hits super hard after them.

Those are a few of the biggest reasons I'm trying to get better.

 

[DownwardSpiral]

blind hope for peace, love, & happiness