Story what keeps you from doing it?

[Acidic_Fries]

My parents are still alive.

It will devestate them If I will follow through with my ctb plan.

I hate them but for some reason I can't do this to them.

 

[Spite]

Loved ones/family/wife/online friends and how devastated they will be. Also the fear of failing my attempt and ending up even worse off.

 

[never mind me]

I feel like I don't have any good reasons to either stay alive or ctb. Although I don't think I have any good reason to put up with all the stress of living for another 40 or 50 years with declining health, being bored and not seeing any sense in life seems not to be enough of a reason to overcome SI.
So what keeps me here is not feeling horrible enough for ctb right now.

 

[Musiclover338]

small glimmer of hope things get better. also the lust of money and women if i was super rich alot of problems would be bearable


shallow i know

 

[literallynoone]

I think my sister would never forgive herself and I can't do that to her

My nephew. The hope that I'll finally make it to Japan. Or Wales. Or Scotland. Or Ireland. The even slimmer hope that I'll ever find love. My best friends.
Otherwise it's stupid little things. The next episode of a show I love, seeing what my character does in the next DnD session, stuff like that.

Right now, it's damn hard to see the point in most of it. But I'm still here. At least for now.

Things like these are the only things that have kept me going past 2023. Hope you get what you want dawg

 

[DirtCommie]

To be completely honest I have 2 reasons:

1. Im just waiting to lose my V-card. Thats why I got a vasectomy . I dint want to produce a child since Im suicidal and obviously cIm too deranged to raise the child
2. and secondly my life is neither shitty eniugh (yet lol) or good enough for me to CTB or to keep on living. Stuck in limbo.

 

[A Sit of Doubting]

love. ive never been sincerely, wholeheartedly loved before. maybe ill get it tomorrow, or the day after that. but i won't know if i die. but i guess it's also quite counter intuitive, because being so hopeful and anticipatory tires me out.

 

[literallynoone]

love. ive never been sincerely, wholeheartedly loved before. maybe ill get it tomorrow, or the day after that. but i won't know if i die. but i guess it's also quite counter intuitive, because being so hopeful and anticipatory tires me out.

That's relatable as hell but I also feel I'm losing the hope for that with every day

 

[sulkygirl]

Knowing that my mom and sister would be shattered honestly keeps me from doing it. And my sister's also depressed so I wouldn't want to add to that...

 

[milquetoast]

i've lived through a friend of mine who ctb'd around when i was in high school, i don't want the people that somehow do care about me to experience that for themselves

i don't want to be any more of a burden than i am right now

and the fear of failing my attempt also keeps me afloat i think

 

[NorthernSunset]

I want to experience a few more things of life, but don't know if I'll have the strength to get to an actual "meaningful" or bearable-enough life in the long run. For the time being, however, I still have hope that I may improve (not recover, per se - some of my problems are lifelong) enough to make the life I want, and like I said, have some more experiences along the way.

 

[DirtCommie]

love. ive never been sincerely, wholeheartedly loved before. maybe ill get it tomorrow, or the day after that. but i won't know if i die. but i guess it's also quite counter intuitive, because being so hopeful and anticipatory tires me out.

....ummm fucking ouch. Why did you have to hurt me by calling me out!?

Just joking. But Im sorry for your pain , our pain even . I hope all us lonely peaceful people meet someone we love as wholeheartedly as they love us.