What is your reason for wanting to ctb?

[Going Home]

Among other things psycological terrorism from people who feel it is their right to make comments about my body everyday, diminishing my dignity with every remark. I love my body, including breasts and nipples.

 

[starcrossedfate]

Health problems. Also, I'm just tired.

 

[Final Escape]

i think i am one of those people who just never should have existed in the first place. i have never added any value to anyone or anything. i've made my family's lives worse, in fact. i think that there are sometimes people who are so worthless and bad that the world is better without them. i know that is what i am, and i feel like doing this will be maybe the first -- and only -- good thing i have ever done in my life. i know for sure that my kids' lives will be better when i am gone. it is the only way that i can give them a chance at normal, happy, and successful lives. so the short answer is that i'm doing it because i am a worthless piece of human garbage.

Jeez! shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You actually got to have kids, apparently you were desirable enough to have kids with.

 

[bunny]

this world is unsafe and full of disgusting people

 

[midastic]

These are my reasons (they are ranked from highest to low):

• OCD: Anxiety over the consequences of any of my past as well as current actions. Doubts over my own moral character. My anxiety is just hard to explain and can be ridiculous or be mocked off of. But the fact that it actually happens to people just creates the anxiety
• Overwhelming guilt: I was a fucked up person and still am today. I probs did worse shit than some of y'all.
• Depressing childhood and current years: I faced several horrible events and still am facing. Had to move alot which meant no friends. My life is shitty. Of course Pro Lifers will make the argument that I just need social support when I don't care about social life that much when I am anti social. Oh and that fucking guilt tripping argument where kids in Timbuktu can't barely afford food yet I can.
• High school stress: not a big reason especially since I have less than a year of high school left but still.
• Trauma: there's something I feel so traumatic about but I can't exactly pin out a event.

Even if there is a solution to my problems, I would have still CTB regardless just because I don't want to deal with the experience and future problems.

 

[HelpPlease]

My brain is fried it hurts hurts hurts hurts it's jilling me nonstop

 

[LastFlowers]

My face. And everything it's caused me to lose..precious time, familial relationships, friendships, any interest I ever wanted to pursue in life, any sense of freedom, even parts of who I am. Gone gone gone.

 

[CursedForDisaster]

I don't want to do anything. I have no drive to find a job, meet people, go to school, get back into my hobbies...anything. I've honestly done enough to be satisfied with going, anymore life is just risking me becoming more of a burden to others and more of a burden to myself. I'm exhausted

These are my reasons (they are ranked from highest to low):

• OCD: Anxiety over the consequences of any of my past as well as current actions. Doubts over my own moral character. My anxiety is just hard to explain and can be ridiculous or be mocked off of. But the fact that it actually happens to people just creates the anxiety
• Overwhelming guilt: I was a fucked up person and still am today. I probs did worse shit than some of y'all.
• Depressing childhood and current years: I faced several horrible events and still am facing. Had to move alot which meant no friends. My life is shitty. Of course Pro Lifers will make the argument that I just need social support when I don't care about social life that much when I am anti social. Oh and that fucking guilt tripping argument where kids in Timbuktu can't barely afford food yet I can.
• High school stress: not a big reason especially since I have less than a year of high school left but still.
• Trauma: there's something I feel so traumatic about but I can't exactly pin out a event.

Even if there is a solution to my problems, I would have still CTB regardless just because I don't want to deal with the experience and future problems.

I'm right with you on the OCD and overwhelming guilt. I feel like a monster sometimes.

 

[tomz323]

Well, my MAIN reason I guess is I can't get over my abusive childhood. No real reason to go on when you have never felt love.

 

[Mart]

I feel like I'm useless. Things feel okay temporarily or I feel like I'm heading somewhere with somebody and then things change and I can quickly feel them getting tired of me. Just want it to stop. I'm so tired of feeling like this. I hate myself.

 

[Jade Willows]

My reason is I have really bad anxiety. I can't leave my house without feeling like everyone around me is watching me. I can't go to the store or anywhere that has people. I can't afford therapy and even if I could I wouldn't be able to "open up" without fear they will think anything negative about me. I feel trapped and with no way out other than ctb. It's the only way I'll ever find peace.

 

[WOODESITY]

My reason is I have really bad anxiety. I can't leave my house without feeling like everyone around me is watching me. I can't go to the store or anywhere that has people. I can't afford therapy and even if I could I wouldn't be able to "open up" without fear they will think anything negative about me. I feel trapped and with no way out other than ctb. It's the only way I'll ever find peace.

I can relate, when I'm outside i think everyone is watching me and my every move is being watched, I've thought about seeing therapist but I'll never because I won't able to talk , going out and seeing people takes big effort , this may sound weird but sometimes I wait until it's night to go out

 

[Mbound]

Physical health, isolation, mental health. Mostly just exhaustion at this point. Looking at my future already feels like looking down the barrel of a gun. I'm spent and almost never even slightly happy to wake up.

 

[Dun Emeritus]

Unmotivated with life and I don't think I'll ever be good enough for the real world. And even if I was and let's say I do succeed and all that crap - still: why? Why should I keep going? Why go through all that effort when it's meaningless and utterly pointless?

It's like playing a video game or watching a movie you don't necessarily hate but you just simply dislike and you want to hit the "stop", "eject", and "power off" buttons. Except with real life that requires so much effort.