Discussion What is your reason for being on this site?

[Schopenhauer]

came for the community, mostly. I like talking to people who dont just get all weird and concerned

This place is so stress-free...

Me: I hate myself, life sucks, I have to die.
Everyone else: You too? Welcome!

There's no need to explain myself only to have my issues dismissed out of hand as unimportant, or compared to someone else who have it worse. People just take what you say at face value.

 

[Anon1337]

To feel less alone and to talk about things I wouldn't be able to talk about IRL.

 

[LostitAll]

Hey everybody newbie here,

First off, I'd like to describe my situation a little bit.
I got an eviction notice the other day and that was
basically the final straw for me. I have nobody. No
kids, significant other, or family to confide in.

I'm in my mid 30's and lost my job a few months
ago. I refuse to start all over again. I'm not living
in a shelter or the streets. I plan on a partial
suspension hanging the day before my court
date.

From the research I've gathered it's a pretty
peaceful way to go. I'm so tired of worrying
about money all the time and living among
the scumbags of the Earth.

I look forward to any feedback from you guys.
I have a little under 2 weeks to go.

 

[AnonJ]

Depression due to an incurable mental health disorder that is the result of a major head injury that I sustained when I was young.

 

[Roph]

I'm here to perfect my method and then call it a day.

 

[Motherfly]

Came here because my stupid brain tough I would find a magical answer here. Always lazy, always looking for the easiest way.

EDIT: I have a special rope I ordered online. Just sitting in my room. I need someone to take me by the hand and tell me its time.

 

[Genesis]

i hate life

 

[longingforrelease]

I found this site while searching for information on suicide during scuba diving (want to make it look accidental). I suppose the real issue is why I keep engaging with this site. I find it helpful in so many ways. On here I've been able to tell parts of my story I've told nowhere else. And it's a shitty story of cheating on my wife, etc. I've been able to get some clarity on what my feelings are by writing about them here. I've come to a better understanding of what exactly is driving my suicidal ideation (the unbearable weight of shame, remorse, isolation, etc.). And I've been able to clarify in my own mind what my responsibilities are regarding my death's (whether it appears accidental or suicidal) impact on my 10 year old daughter. I also find the sympathetic voices here very helpful. I've also learned some concrete things about how I might ctb in relatively painless way that could also appear accidental. I'm grateful for this site.

 

[throwaway_2620]

I want to CTB, support the right to die and seek tips on how to CTB successfully.

 

[RM5998]

Me: I hate myself, life sucks, I have to die.
Everyone else: You too? Welcome!

Yep. Being able to find this kind of acceptance is why I keep posting here. But hopefully, not for long.

 

[Empty RN]

This site opens up so many new avenues were not allotted to in real life. I find it relieving that there are so many people here who are struggling with the same thing I am and can relate to feelings I'm having when in my life it seems everyone around is so content and excited about life. You can't admit to these feelings to people you actually know without trouble following but here we have others to help strategize and advise and get our feelings off our chest. I was relieved when I received N, but I couldn't tell anyone I know what that feeling was.

 

[LostitAll]

This site opens up so many new avenues were not allotted to in real life. I find it relieving that there are so many people here who are struggling with the same thing I am and can relate to feelings I'm having when in my life it seems everyone around is so content and excited about life. You can't admit to these feelings to people you actually know without trouble following but here we have others to help strategize and advise and get our feelings off our chest. I was relieved when I received N, but I couldn't tell anyone I know what that feeling was.

From my view-point those people you see "excited about life" are full of shit. They put on a "front" to make
others believe they're happy. I'm not saying everyone because I'm sure there are a lot of people who are
genuinely happy. But a vast majority of people are not. I mean look at the statistics on suicide....

 

[Empty RN]

From my view-point those people you see "excited about life" are full of shit. They put on a "front" to make
others believe they're happy. I'm not saying everyone because I'm sure there are a lot of people who are
genuinely happy. But a vast majority of people are not. I mean look at the statistics on suicide....

I think you're right to a large extent- but I don't think the majority of people have suicide on their mind all the time or are plagued with feeling empty and like life is pointless. I know I used to be thrilled and driven about life it all seemed fantastic but what an illusion. I do wish I was back in that place but I'm glad I never had children or got married. It would be so awful to have others rely on you when you can hardly even rely on yourself

 

[LostitAll]

Good point. Although, in my mindset having a wife and children probably would have
given me the strength and motivation to move forward and not ctb. But, I'll never know.

 

[Amina]

To get information and be around like-minded people. It's so nice to be able to express myself freely and not have to worry about any backlash, pro lifers, or the police showing up at my doorstep.

Does that happen?- Police showing up at people's house because they're suicidal? How do they find out?

 

[TheLastTrip]

I guess it depends on what country you live in. In the UK then sure someone could get the police around to check on you if you are suicidal, they could also have you committed if you are a danger to yourself I guess too.

Why I am here? For company before the end, I am traveling until after Christmas then doing it so find I am getting somewhat lonely. I tried another forum but it was very pro-life and it didn't feel like anyone respected each other and their decisions, the whole vibe was 'you're wrong to want to end your life but we're going to wrap you in fuzziness and only say positive things to any comment you make and remind you that you're a special snowflake'.

It's lovely having genuine support, like Deafsn0w posting his ctb date on here, everyone has genuinely and warmly wished them a safe passing and that they find peace. It is lovely to see such sentiment, nobody berating him/her for wanting to do it, no rule breaking for posting that they are going to do it, just genuine support. The same as LoveMyKids posting about getting some Nembutal and everyone jumped in to say how cool that was an congratulate him, can you imagine that on any other forum? It's lovely that LoveMyKids is so excited about getting a bottle (or three) and he can share that happiness with us, instead of being banned for posting about it to any other forum.

 

[Trashcan]

Does that happen?- Police showing up at people's house because they're suicidal? How do they find out?

I meant more about if I confide with people irl, that's a possibility. Sorry for not being more clear.

 

[Dark Soul]

I want to meet people to talk, people who understand me. I like to think about death and I was many years on Abyss..

 

[TiredHorse]

I came to refine my method, and to warn about a hazard I had encountered (see below), and have stayed because it's someplace where people don't panic and ooze "thou must go out and find happiness!" all over me. People here get it. Hopefully I'll ctb soon, but if I don't, I know I can come here and unload about it and no one will either call the cops or jeer me.

People here seem genuinely kind. Genuinely compassionate. They listen honestly, and they're willing to hear what I'm saying, not what they want me to be saying. That's better than I've found IRL.

Does that happen?- Police showing up at people's house because they're suicidal? How do they find out?

Yes, it does happen. An email delayed-delivery service (Time Cave), that I had set to deliver my final note, tipped the local LEOs and I had to talk my way out of a "welfare check."

 

[starcrossedfate]

There may be some trolling and scuttling here and there, but this undoubtedly the most honest place on the internet. When you constantly feel like you're on the verge of death, you form instant bonds with others (who are going through same deal) because you tend to only focus on the most essential and rawest matters at hand.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I came to a point in which my life has no meaning.

 

[WhyIsLife56]

I found this site through the antinatalism subreddit. I'm grateful I found out about the term/word for antinatalism but it just made me more suicidal while scrolling though the subreddit and then found this website.

 

[DoNotLet2]

I need some support I find ti difficult to have connections from people and ss is a chance for me to find at the very least a few people to talk to.

 

[S1mpleme]

I'm so happy so I wanted to find a way how to live 100 years - that's why I'm here.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I came here because I was googling information on a cbt method and a thread from this site was in the search results. I ended up lurking for a long time. Any time I'd google a question, I'd put in something like "sanctioned suicide metoclopramide" to see what folks here had to say about it. I liked how people were supportive of each other here, and I also really wanted to use the search feature, so I created an account and started interacting.

 

[Achillesheel]

I'm here because this is the only place I can be myself and talk freely about ctb without being judged. Sometime just getting whatever is built up inside of you out can help... maybe even save your life. Some of us make impulsive decisions and that's a reason we have the feelings that we do. Here can get advise and give it also without the embarrassment.

 

[Hypergang2018]

Judgement free no censorship. Nuff said

 

[BPD Barbie]

I was glogljng methods, trying to find one that I thought reasonable other than my original plan of hanging. Found this place, lurked for a little before making an account and never looked back.

 

[TrailerTrash]

I came to learn about methods and select one (or more) while also getting support from people who can understand. In the end, if having the extra support doesn't help then I'm educated and ready to make a choice. People out there just don't understand how many of us think/feel and those that do are mostly just in the psych business and we're just their job(s).

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I was sure I was finished with my life..... I was searching for methods and found this place... I don't know what happened but I stayed and became part of the community... Now its usually the first thing I go on when I wake up in the morning and throughout the day..

I just want to say I love this forum, I love the people here and the understanding of everybody ... Also talking with people who suffer like I do... It makes me feel a little less alone..