Discussion What is your perspective like? How do you experience life?

[weatherforecast]

i.e.
What do you think about when walking around? What things do you notice around you? Do you notice small sensations? etc...

Personally, I dissociate a lot. I don't remember much & my imagination is dull. It takes conscious effort for me to remember my environment, although I can vaguely remember sensations. If I try to create a picture in my mind, it is grey and fuzzy, feels more of an abstract concept than a visual image.

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

As someone with ADHD, my mind is filled with hundreds of thoughts and images that pass through my head as if I were at a Free Jazz concert.

Usually, my day has three moments.

The first is during the morning (4:00 AM - 11:00 AM), where I am always motivated and energetic.
In my mind, I always imagine that I am monologuing with someone about my preferences, and I also often think about future plans that I know I will never carry out.

The second moment is during the afternoon and evening (12:00 PM - 3:00 AM).
During this time, my mind starts to experience mood swings, usually with intrusive thoughts. I usually start worrying about my life and the future.
Another thing to mention is that my mind becomes a magnet. By this I mean that I react to any stimulus, usually sounds, as I have hyperacusis and loud noises are quite bothersome to me.
If a noisy motorcycle passes by, my mind pays so much attention to it that I get angry and start thinking that people are stupid or that my town is full of monkeys riding motorcycles.
If I hear a car playing mainstream music, I start to think that people have generic tastes and don't understand art.
Anyway, during all this time, my mind is filled with negative thoughts and I hyperreact to everything.

The third moment is at night, usually before sleeping. The difference here is that this moment is voluntary, meaning that it doesn't always happen, but I do it mainly to feel calm during the silence and darkness of the night.
What I do here is fantasize as a form of escapism. Sometimes, since I don't know what to fantasize about, I look for an image of a landscape or an anime fanart on the internet to get an idea.
Then, I look for a song that matches my mood. Since the vast majority of music I listen to has lyrics that don't match my mood, sometimes I try to focus solely on the melody.

Every day I take a bit of Mental Medication, with a Melody fair, a Sweet music's conversation, Playing for all creation here, where I'm Lost in contemplation and Drowned in meditation. Sometimes Need her inspiration near...

 

[KafkaF]

i.e.
What do you think about when walking around? What things do you notice around you? Do you notice small sensations? etc...

Personally, I dissociate a lot. I don't remember much & my imagination is dull. It takes conscious effort for me to remember my environment, although I can vaguely remember sensations. If I try to create a picture in my mind, it is grey and fuzzy, feels more of an abstract concept than a visual image.

I'm an HSP, so I feel and see a lot.

A while ago I stepped outside in the morning. And the birds were singing, and the sunlight fell across the grass in this really beautiful way. And in the background stretched this incredible deep, blue sky. And it really impacted me. Even though basically all that happened is I stepped outside for a second.

I also live in my own head a lot. I can tune out the rest of the world and see other things inside of my head very easily. My memories are especially vivid, which has both advantages and disadvantages sometimes. I really feel like I can see it in front of me, almost touch it sometimes, when I picture something in my memory.

I guess if I had to compare it to other people (granted, taking into account that I've never actually been in another person's head) I'd say everything is heightened. Things most people see and just walk passed, I can be utterly fascinated by. Things that make people feel love, make me feel incredible infatuation. Although by contrast things that make other people sad, make me despondent. And things that make other people feel bad, make me feel so guilty or regretful it hurts to breathe.

 

[weatherforecast]

As someone with ADHD, my mind is filled with hundreds of thoughts and images that pass through my head as if I were at a Free Jazz concert.

Are these thoughts related to the world around us in a direct way, like seeing images of a car?
- As opposed to patterns, colors or other 'intangible' things

I couldn't imagine that, I think my unconscious does most of the work.

Anyway, during all this time, my mind is filled with negative thoughts and I hyperreact to everything.

Sorry, that sounds horrible to deal with.

My memories are especially vivid, which has both advantages and disadvantages sometimes. I really feel like I can see it in front of me, almost touch it sometimes, when I picture something in my memory.

What are the disadvantages?
Can you imagine other sensations, like smell and taste?

 

[KafkaF]

Are these thoughts related to the world around us in a direct way, like seeing images of a car?
- As opposed to patterns, colors or other 'intangible' things

I couldn't imagine that, I think my unconscious does most of the work.

Sorry, that sounds horrible to deal with.


What are the disadvantages?
Can you imagine other sensations, like smell and taste?

The biggest disadvantage is that I tend to get really stuck in memories easily. I'm extremely nostalgic and sentimental. And the biggest problem is that they feel so real that it feels like there's only a thin film separating me from them... but it's an illusion. It kind of feels like standing in front of a bakery. And there's this huge, beautiful cake in front of you. But the window separates you from it. So you can never actually touch it or eat it. And I do find that torture.

Granted, I don't know how bad it is for other people cuz I've never lived another person's life. But I get the impression that these feelings are worse for me than most other people.

 

[Callie Arcale]

Life feels unreal in the sense that I don't understand it. It's weird that I exist, that the bed exists, that billions other humans exist out in the world and go on about their daily lives. It's weird to touch the cup when I drink. The cup is. What does "is" even mean?

It's even weired to think of all the people who have lived and died before me, and all their immense suffering and their forgotten fates… and even weirder still to try to find enough place in my mind for the thought that I am a part of this huge, incomprehensible universe.

I don't understand any of it.

 

[weatherforecast]

Life feels unreal in the sense that I don't understand it. It's weird that I exist, that the bed exists, that billions other humans exist out in the world and go on about their daily lives. It's weird to touch the cup when I drink. The cup is. What does "is" even mean?

It's even weired to think of all the people who have lived and died before me, and all their immense suffering and their forgotten fates… and even weirder still to try to find enough place in my mind for the thought that I am a part of this huge, incomprehensible universe.

I don't understand any of it.

Yeah, it is extremely weird. I think in terms of perception, Coconteppi described it pretty well. It's all so abstract. I like to think of it in terms of logic. Logic is meant to prove consistency, so as long as one can see all the colors, even if you mishmash them, they can percieve the world completely different but in the same way.
I guess it's just the differences in "structure," sort of our method to draw a line between subjects, different patterns pertaining to them / whatever else our brain does. Otherwise the concept of existence and the concept of a bed are pretty similar, just a mixup of whatever our brain is made of.

This all sounds like nonsense lol but I like discussing it anyway

 

[Malaria]

My head is always in the clouds. I am not "present" in the moment, I'm not living in the moment, I am usually daydreaming or remembering past events.

 

[whiteclaudia]

seconding callie's reply. everything seems weird and pointless in a very disorienting way.

for me, it also feels like there's a gaping hole inside my chest that i'm constantly trying to fill. i self destruct for attention, i buy myself pointless things for the dopamine, i distract myself with art projects, i try to convince myself that i'm somehow non-human or communicating with god. realistically, i think it's just due to being neglected and isolated for the majority of my life. it's not going away because i can't do anything about my circumstances.

if i'm caffeinated and medicated and socializing, i feel great. i'm a little weird, but i'm witty and genuine! people like me even if it's in a court jester kind of way. i just...don't see people much. most of my time is spent ruminating on my trauma and how i could possibly heal. i can't muster up the will to actually do anything. it's just day after day of overthinking and procrastinating and feeling awful despite all my plans to do better.

i try to take an absurdist's approach and think that, well, if i'm at the point where suicide is an option than everything holds less weight. i might as well fuck around and find out, right? the point of life is just to get as much enjoyment as i can out of it. it leads to this weird hedonistic cycle where if i'm not enjoying myself - which is most of the time - i might as well die. would not recommend.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't really tend to notice things around my surroundings and I just mostly stay trapped within my mind

 

[Pluto]

I struggle a lot with thoughts about people who abused and abandoned me from the past. Because so much injustice was hidden from the world, my mind wants to endlessly rant and retell the story. Yet I never feel validated and never manage to bring peace or acceptance to the situation. The whole process is very involuntary.

I have an interest in the principles of mindfulness but by no means manage it in practice.

 

[Arachno]

My head is always in the clouds. I am not "present" in the moment, I'm not living in the moment, I am usually daydreaming or remembering past events.

I'm also like this for most of the time, I actually quite like daydreaming :(

 

[soulkitty]

I have a hard time noticing things in my environment, mostly if other people are around. Often times the world is sensory overload for me. I look at the ground more often than around me when I'm walking somewhere, I tend to imagine random scenarios. But if I'm somewhere and not feeling very depressed, I love looking at the clouds and mountains, the nature, every little detail in a poster or store sign. I'm always so amazed by the clouds and the atmosphere. When I was younger I could spend hours sitting in one place doing nothing, and just looking at every detail of everything around me and letting my imagination run wild.

As I've gotten older though and my mental health has deteriorated, it's hard not to see everything as almost monochrome, dull and terrifying. I'm grateful for those hard to come by moments when I can appreciate everything around me. I also tend to see the best in people, and I like 90% of people as soon as I meet them, it's pretty rare for me to dislike someone. Of course sometimes there's those people I really don't like the vibes of, or they're not very considerate or nice. I'm very bad at communicating with people, but I genuinely love them somehow. I also have moments where I hate them lmao but in general it's the former. Which leads to me not foreseeing any kind of abuse or mistreatment that could come from them. Not only that, but I always think I'm in the wrong which makes me feel like it was my fault, and prevents me from getting any form of justice

I can definitely relate to disassociating a lot and not remembering things. Sometimes I completely forget where I am and what I was doing