What is the most powerful positive emotion you have ever felt?

[11April]

Love.
But that's the reason for suicide.

 

[Archness]

When my brain decides to suddenly produce a bunch of happy-chemicals for literally no reason. Outside of that and simple dopamine/hedonism there isn't much of anything meaningful and/or positive.

It's depressing as hell, knowing these good feelings are largely just a brain defect. I can only keep myself distracted or engrossed in pleasures and hedonistic goods. *sigh*

 

[unnormal9]

Dreams of eternal sleep through death.

 

[Catastrofe]

Friendship

 

[deltap]

I can't remember anything positive like that unfortunately, I blame my BPD. I can remember things that'd be regarded as positive, but I feel nothing when I try and recall the associated emotions.
Otherwise, the one time I met "God" on Ketamine, who revealed to me the "secrets of the universe", which I then promptly forgot, lmao.
Was just this overwhelming sense of euphoria, bliss, and peace washing over me, felt like my conscious & soul were evaporating and integrating into the universe, like the feeling of a cold breeze on a scorching hot day.

 

[LittleJem]

Hmm. One of my happiest moments was when I had just stopped an SSRI that was not working and I had a day or two of contentment. I remember eating a greek pastry by a river and being happy.

I also remember feeding fish in a pond in India and being happy in the moment and also one time when I was cutting my toenails when I felt okay.

These are really odd moments to be happy in, considering how much else I have done in my nearly 50 years of life, but those are the moments I felt happy. The rest of the time my wonky brain doesn't feel it.

 

[SexyIncél]

Passion, when all the parts of me come together and orbit each other

 

[parader]

my first try on shrooms i guess
i felt so good and unlike the other great moments i've had, this one wasn't attached to any achievements or other people
it just felt good to be me for once and not because i accomplished something
just for being me... it was priceless

 

[Heavenbound]

Love.
I tried everything to make it work, but it just wasn't meant to be.
It was the best I have ever felt, and I wish I could experience that again.

 

[Jaqen H'ghar]

Oneness, power, bliss, devotion and peace.

 

[wiltingorchid]

standing on a mountain, while holding a book in my hands and reading, while a strong breeze blew through my hair. And the beautiful view, I could see another, much bigger mountain, which was standing there so wonderfully lonely. I just felt very calm and put at ease like never before.

 

[Solek]

Having a laugh with my closest friends, while doing something random or playing games. I wish I could spend all my time doing that, but life has many responsibilities.

 

[KettleKorn]

The first time that I met my ex, it was just us talking for hours listening to music, and joking with each other. That was also the first time I had sex with a man, truly a moment I won't forget. He didn't feel the same, and it started a year of deep depression of anxiety when he left me. I think that's why I joined this site, I know I'll never feel that again so what's the point.

 

[endofafoxtwo]

Love. But, it wasn't real. So I ended up worse for it.

 

[StolenLife]

Love. But only towards my family and fictional characters. I don't have much love in me these days.

 

[Das Nichts]

Unconditional love for a person that's unfortunately not part of my life anymore.

 

[Kittzuni]

Love.

I'm truly grateful that I met my husband. If I had to pick out a specific moment I'd probably say the first time we took MD together. It was my first time in general but he was experienced with drugs so he was able to make sure everything was as perfect as it could be. When it hit me we were cuddling and talking and I was just overfilled with this immense love and compassion. At some point I saw my cat and felt the urge cry. I was so grateful to her as she had helped me to keep my shit together for many months (so that I'd be able to take care of her). I felt the urge to burst out in tears, so I asked my husband if it was okay/normal to cry and he told me to go and get her and let it all out. It was such a beautiful moment. The feeling of him understanding what I'm feeling, in that moment but also in general felt great too. He gets me without words. He just knows.

A close competitor to that moment would be the day I told him I "loved" him. We were together for roughly 1 week at that point and we were laying in bed when I just couldn't hold it in anymore. During a quiet moment I said "I like you.", to which he replied "No, you don't." It relieved me immensely as he understood what I meant by it, so without hesitation I replied "Thanks." It may sound stupid but that short exchange was.. idk perfect. It sums up our relationship and understanding for each other. This mutual understanding is something I've never experienced with anyone else but him. I'm sure it sounds like a much better story if you see my eyes glowing up while talking about it though. On paper it seems a little silly. It's mostly the fact that he knew exactly what I meant and immediately lifted away my anxiety.

 

[InimitableMe]

Love.

I'm truly grateful that I met my husband. If I had to pick out a specific moment I'd probably say the first time we took MD together. It was my first time in general but he was experienced with drugs so he was able to make sure everything was as perfect as it could be. When it hit me we were cuddling and talking and I was just overfilled with this immense love and compassion. At some point I saw my cat and felt the urge cry. I was so grateful to her as she had helped me to keep my shit together for many months (so that I'd be able to take care of her). I felt the urge to burst out in tears, so I asked my husband if it was okay/normal to cry and he told me to go and get her and let it all out. It was such a beautiful moment. The feeling of him understanding what I'm feeling, in that moment but also in general felt great too. He gets me without words. He just knows.

A close competitor to that moment would be the day I told him I "loved" him. We were together for roughly 1 week at that point and we were laying in bed when I just couldn't hold it in anymore. During a quiet moment I said "I like you.", to which he replied "No, you don't." It relieved me immensely as he understood what I meant by it, so without hesitation I replied "Thanks." It may sound stupid but that short exchange was.. idk perfect. It sums up our relationship and understanding for each other. This mutual understanding is something I've never experienced with anyone else but him. I'm sure it sounds like a much better story if you see my eyes glowing up while talking about it though. On paper it seems a little silly. It's mostly the fact that he knew exactly what I meant and immediately lifted away my anxiety.

That's a beautiful story. I get what you mean about understanding and saying more with less to no words. It's as if the heart speaks.

You sound bright and intelligent and it saddens me that you may be feeling amiss these days.

 

[roseleaf]

getting into my dream school - i cried with happiness. never had happened before that, and never again.

 

[TraumaEscapee:)]

Love

 

[Kittzuni]

That's a beautiful story. I get what you mean about understanding and saying more with less to no words. It's as if the heart speaks.

You sound bright and intelligent and it saddens me that you may be feeling amiss these days.

thank you so much for your kind words, I truely appreciate them

 

[PuppyinPain]

Having my first ever "Birthday dinner"/having my birthday celebrated. I had friends (long term) insist on taking me out to dinner for my birthday once and they all made sure to attend and make it on time despite transportation errors and such. I cried and sobbed at the table out of joy and was able to actually eat that night as well even though I was completely silent the entire dinner while they all talked and asked how I was enjoying it.

 

[PurpleParadigm]

I don't know. It's a rollercoaster of uncontrollable, dumb euphoria followed by deep, depressive crashes that get longer and longer. I fear the upswings because they are followed by ever steeper, deeper, longer downswings.

Last time I did some impulsive nonsense when feeling up, then blew up my career, got my method ordered and didn't eat for over a week on the down.

 

[Tuurngait]

Probably love for my partner and also the great feeling whenever I do something successful. Both keep me going, wasn't always able to feel either and won't ever take for granted that I now can.
Gets me through my minor relapses that I experience all the time, I am worried that one day I'll have a big relapse and get stuck in it for ages though.

 

[g56f32Z4n8#uExEuU*@]

Before I started my descent into depression and CTB ideation, I remember an enlightened evening during the Indian summer in Stanford University campus. I was seated on a bench at sunset, observing the youngsters cycling to their next engagement after lesson, the sound of swallows in the sky. I believe I felt at that moment the energy of the potential of so much young life and future, I don't think I ever felt that good in my life.

Perhaps my desire for CTB actually started there, with the realization of how much my life was not part of that potential, of that energy. Around those days I believe I created my CTB motto: "I've seen enough beauty in my life". I didn't need more, I just hoped I could be let go in peace.

 

[Disappointered]

Since we are all in some kind of unfortunate circumstances now, I wondered if it would be okay to look back and remember a moment where you felt really good. It could be anything - happiness, excitement, laughter, love, etc. Do you think you had enough of these moments to appreciate the life you were given, even if it didn't turn out the way you wanted?

No.

 

[Bobert_Beniro]

The first thing that comes to mind is video games, movies, MDMA crystals and the first communication with a girl on the Internet. From the last two, my desire to die disappeared and did not return.