What is the most painful way to ctb? (That is still possible to do by an average person)

[adamoni123]

Hey, i want to ctb in the most painful way possible. I don't deserve an easy goodbye. If it were possible I would torture myself to all eternity, but the risk I'll stop and go back to regular life is too big. So what is the most painful, slow way I could ctb without anyway to save myself or for someone to intervene?

 

[qewpie]

self-immolation in an abandoned place?

 

[adamoni123]

self-immolation in an abandoned place?

Idk what that is

 

[qewpie]

Idk what that is

going somewhere isolated/abandoned and then setting yourself on fire

 

[adamoni123]

going somewhere isolated/abandoned and then setting yourself on fire

The problem is that place needs to be so far away from any civilization that I can't go there to save myself. But I live in such a small country, that anywhere I go to is pretty close to a city or town, so I may be found or I will go somewhere for help.

 

[WonderWhatsOutThere]

If you're on fire, you won't have enough time (and will likely lose the ability to move at all due to the pain and nerve damage) unless you were IN a city or town to get help

 

[qwert3948]

starving to death is probably the most torturous one

 

[strawberry931]

If you're on fire, you won't have enough time (and will likely lose the ability to move at all due to the pain and nerve damage) unless you were IN a city or town to get help

Maybe being saved would add to the torture. With first degree burns over most of your body you would likely ctb days later in the hospital enduring significant pain.

 

[getoutgirl]

Why are people contributing to this?
Like if I asked "Hey what's the most painful way I could torture myself" would people still give suggestions? or is it just okay if it's a suicide thing
a bit baffled
No one needs to die experiencing the most ammount of pain. I get that's what you want, and I can respect your decision and want for death, but if this are the circumstances I'd say you need Help first, because it's clearly not a healthy position to be thinking from and about this. I'm really sorry you are. And I know you are not asking for help.
but people...

 

[adamoni123]

Why are people contributing to this?
Like if I asked "Hey what's the most painful way I could torture myself" would people still give suggestions? or is it just okay if it's a suicide thing
a bit baffled
No one needs to die experiencing the most ammount of pain. I get that's what you want, and I can respect your decision and want for death, but if this are the circumstances I'd say you need Help first, because it's clearly not a healthy position to be thinking from and about this. I'm really sorry you are. And I know you are not asking for help.
but people...

Listen, I am a horrible person. I don't deserve any less. And believe me that if you knew me, you would agree.

 

[getoutgirl]

Listen, I am a horrible person. I don't deserve any less. And believe me that if you knew me, you would agree.

Can't know If I'd agree If I knew you. But I know I'd do if I was in your shoes, in your mind. I do believe you feel that way, entirely. And I can empathize with that feeling.
I deal with guilt unlike anything I experience, and though it hasn't driven me to this extreme, it has driven me to wanting death and hurting myself, badly and a lot. I know there is a feeling of justice in that pain, of deserved punishment, and it is very real, and the acts won't go unless you follow it. It feels good and necessary. If you want the equivalent final judgement to be as painful as you feel it should be, I get that, get where that's coming from and I feel you there.

Still I wouldn't wish you do that. Because if there is guilt there is also regret, and there are actual monsters and horrible people out there that don't experience this guilt and desire for punishment. And the fact you do says something about you.
I don't know you, I don't know what you've done or why you feel this way. But that torture would only atone inside the mind, and nowhere else with actual impact. It will probably cause more harm. So even if it's harder, and I can't ask this of you but I will say it, please consider this beyond that voice that wants you to suffer. Give it some time if you can, and get help if you aren't getting any. Because if you are feeling this way I think you deserve that over whatever torture you think you deserve, no matter.
that's just how I see it. Big hug <3

 

[unhappycamper80]

Idk what that is

Setting yourself on fire.

 

[gomikasu]

Off the top of my head I'd say throwing yourself into a wood chipper. Pretty sure you can rent those from like a home depot.
I'd really advise against doing this though. Regardless of how much you hate yourself and think you deserve this, at a minimum you can have some form of redemtion through donating your body to science.

 

[J&L383]

Maybe being saved would add to the torture. With first degree burns over most of your body you would likely ctb days later in the hospital enduring significant pain.

Yes, there have been monks who set themselves on fire in public and they still die because once there's third degree burns on over a certain percentage of the body there's nothing that can be done. This would be very painful. Alternatively, slowly starving to death is not a picnic either. (But if no water is consumed it will only take a week or two).

I do wish you peace.

 

[Jisatsu]

Jumping into something hot like , lava or into a very hot fire .

 

[kopebaldy]

I imagine feet first into wood chipper is pretty painful.

Or steam, unlike fire where it burns all your nerves and kill you by smoke suffocation, steam is constant.