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Deleted member 23774

Deleted member 23774

Member
Nov 14, 2020
78
The cause of my mental torment is guilt and shame. I made a lot of mistakes and I'm not able to let my past go and move on. I'm unable to forgive myself at all. Also my torment is loneliness because people don't want to be around me because of the way I used to be. I am working on changing and being a better person, but I feel like it is too late for me. I feel like I'm hopeless and a lost cause.
 
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Lari
Oct 28, 2020
40
My parents' overprotection with me being 22 years old. It came at a time that I can't take anymore, and I have no freedom! I already tried to talk and nad right, they still think I'm a child. I don't know how to get out of this situation, because I work but I still live with them.
 
S

Symbiote

Global Mod
Oct 12, 2020
3,102
Dealing with childhood trauma and abuse, physical, emotional and sexual. Dealing with the bad choices I made as an adult, and then the toxic living environment with my wife and I. Been through all sorts of therapies and been hospitalized 5 times. I feel like I'm born broken, and the environment around me are trying to break me into tiny pieces that it be impossible for me to glue back together.
 
xLosthopex

xLosthopex

Tell my dogs I love them
May 29, 2020
1,135
The cause of my mental torment is guilt and shame. I made a lot of mistakes and I'm not able to let my past go and move on. I'm unable to forgive myself at all. Also my torment is loneliness because people don't want to be around me because of the way I used to be. I am working on changing and being a better person, but I feel like it is too late for me. I feel like I'm hopeless and a lost cause.

I relate to this a lot. Guilt really does eat you alive, I think it's the worst emotion there is. Pure torture
 
SpinTop555

SpinTop555

Member
Nov 16, 2020
70
The cause of my mental torment is guilt and shame. I made a lot of mistakes and I'm not able to let my past go and move on. I'm unable to forgive myself at all. Also my torment is loneliness because people don't want to be around me because of the way I used to be. I am working on changing and being a better person, but I feel like it is too late for me. I feel like I'm hopeless and a lost cause.

Are you me? Seriously, I feel the exact same way.
 
E

EmptyManForever

My wings were cut and now I can fly no more!
Oct 3, 2020
141
Finding out the truth about the psych drugs I was prescribed, made me have a mental breakdown , I lost control and I've been super depressed for like 4 years now after finding out this truth
 
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LonelyDude15

LonelyDude15

Currently Spiraling
Sep 26, 2020
277
The cause of my mental torment is guilt and shame. I made a lot of mistakes and I'm not able to let my past go and move on. I'm unable to forgive myself at all. Also my torment is loneliness because people don't want to be around me because of the way I used to be. I am working on changing and being a better person, but I feel like it is too late for me. I feel like I'm hopeless and a lost cause.
This is me exactly!
 
awfullife

awfullife

Arcanist
Nov 16, 2019
435
Memories of being at the top.
(Money, toys, career, friends, clients)
Reality that it will never happen again.
Self Hatred and no chance at correcting this at my age
Only Jobs I can get are beneath my skills and abilities
Crippling weight of child support >> No chance to get ahead
No recreational activities besides SS
Shame about how far I've fallen
Poverty restricts shopping addiction that was only thing that brought me happiness
Holidays are the worst when you are estranged from kids
 
profoundexperience

profoundexperience

You can feel the punishment but you cant commit ts
Jun 29, 2020
436
The fundamental nature of reality -- how everything has come to be -- appears to be merely "rocks banging into rocks". Pointless in outcome. Supremely wasteful and heedless of suffering. As stupid as stupid can be.

The only thing of any value here are the positive and negative experiences of sentient beings. Although most things we could call "positive" are but the reduction of negatives... e.g., eating satisfying hunger. So, really it's all about negatives driving us to "do stuff" in order to "survive for survival's sake".

Then there are the other human beings: Whose primary motivation is, "What's in it for me?" And, of course that includes me too. You can't blame us though... that's the ~optimal strategy for evolutionary survival. Even our most favored emotion, "love" developed for impure reasons and has ulterior motives.

Unfixable an irreconcilable... slaves to biology, slaves to our childhood conditioning, slaves to physical and mental conditions we cannot control, slaves to the erroneous beliefs and faith others have that, "Life is a 'good thing'."

Damned with no good/fair way out......
 
M

Mongo

Member
Jan 28, 2020
26
PTSD from being battered as a child by father throughout childhood.
PTSD from being locked up in a state boy's ranch, in which boys were made to pit fight. Many other horrors there.
PTSD from almost being killed twice in the military
PTSD from hitchhiking cross-country twice as a 16 year old, getting attacked in Texas with a broken bottle
Majority Depressive Disorder from military, and childhood
Chronic pain from spine related birth defect, complicated by 7 auto wrecks, 2 military injuries, and one work injury
Neuropathy below waist causing constant electric shock feeling
Chronic insomnia
Inability to socialize, due to the above
Losing girlfriend and home now, because of the above

Ah, the rich pageant of life.