What is the best age to commit suicide?

[Deleted member 8579]

Because we're incredibly limited beings in every way.

But so far we have only considered the temporal and spatial scales. If humans were immortal and the entire cosmos were known to us, everything we did would still be flawed and pointless. The limitations of time and space are not related to the limitation of our mental and physical capabilities in any way.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I disagree; life has no purpose at all. Suffering is merely one of life's unfortunate side effects.

Society is not one big organism, and your individual interests and needs differ greatly from those of society at large, so why should you prioritise these things over your own needs and wants in the first place?

Try telling that to someone who's homeless and see him go, "My goodness, you're right! Why should I worry about money and housing when all these things won't matter in 1000 years?"

Do people really need to tell themselves that humans are insignificant compared to the vastness of the cosmos in order to realise that such things as social prestige are made up nonsense?

If i am able to commit suicide tomorrow then nothing will matter to me after tomorrow forever . So that's 1 day. i used 100 years because most humans will also be dead then. After death i won't have a brain to remember or think or feel pain . And if i commit suicide tomorrow i will avoid all those hells like homelessness, diseases, accidents ,dementia, extreme pain, suffering, grief ,depression etc. i hardly remember anything as it is . The decades flew by like a blink of an eye . 100 years is nothing. Any older will person will see the reality of how the decades fly by. Human memory is nothing anyway. Who can remember what they did hour by hour any day of 2019, 2018 etc.?

 

[Deleted member 8579]

if i am able to commit suicide tomorow then nothing will matter to me after tomrow forever . so that's 1 day. i used 100 years because most humans will also be dead then. after death i won't have a brain to remember or think or feel pain . and if i commit suicide tomorow i will avoid all those hells like homelessness, diseases, accidents ,dementia, extreme pain, suffering, greif ,depression etc. i hardley remember anything as it is . the decades flew by like a blink of an eye . 100 years is nothing. any older will person will see the reality of how the decades fly by. human memory is nothing anyway. who can remember what they did hour by hour any day of 2019, 2018 etc.?

I never argued against this, I merely had a problem with the extremely general wording of your now deleted post. It was not meant as a personal attack, I just tend to be a bit pedantic from time to time.

 

[deflationary]

The limitations of time and space are not related to the limitation of our mental and physical capabilities in any way.

In any way? Of course they are. When we compare our daily experience to all of what there actually is out there, we see how arbitrary and absurd our mental and physical lives are. This has turned into a weirdly abstract discussion. The point is that zooming out helps you put things in bigger perspective (thus reducing the salience and importance of everyday concerns) and most people live their lives always zoomed in. What is there to quibble about that?

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

ideally, it would be preferable to live until you're 30, but if not, at least manage until 25 or wait a year or so before you decide. That said, it's really up to you; I won't gatekeep.

 

[Deleted member 8579]

thus reducing the salience and importance of everyday concerns

A starving man's everyday concern is finding food. How is "zooming out" going to reduce the importance of this?

When we compare our daily experience to all of what there actually is out there, we see how arbitrary and absurd our mental and physical lives are.

Life is absurd; you don't need to compare your daily experience to "all of what there actually is out there" in order to come to this conclusion. Simple observations in everyday life are sufficient, i.e. a small scale comparison is all that is needed.

 

[deflationary]

A starving man's everyday concern is finding food. How is "zooming out" going to reduce the importance of this?

That was just careless phrasing on my part. I already said earlier that this doesn't work for stuff without any intellectual component to it, like physical pain or finding food, as you point out.

Life is absurd; you don't need to compare your daily experience to "all of what there actually is out there" in order to come to this conclusion. Simple observations in everyday life are sufficient, i.e. a small scale comparison is all that is needed.

Didn't I already say you didn't *need* to do this? I feel like we're talking past each other. Some things engage our intuitions more readily than others. Maybe all that's needed for you are small scale comparisons. Good for you. For other people (like me) thinking on a larger scale helps drive the point home. When thinking on a smaller scale, daily life is self-contained enough to maintain some semblance of sense. It's easy to get swept along by the current of just living. That's what most people do. You have to zoom out of your everyday social experience to some extent at least to really analyze it. Maybe not to a cosmic scale but probably the farther you step, the less sense any of this shit makes.

 

[GreenTree]

It's nothing to do with age. It's too do with when you can't take no more mental torture. You attempt. Weather you succeed or not is another matter.

 

[RazzleDazzle]

It's nothing to do with age. It's too do with when you can't take no more mental torture.

Ah. Bingo. That's it right there, that's exactly where I am. Thank you.

 

[All-Dead-Y]

Of course anything involving age is a gray area. It's less about the number, and more about experience. Where are you in life? Based on what you have gathered, where will you go?

I'm on the younger end. My goal right now is just to get to a place in my life where I'm not dependent on others and others aren't dependent on me before I make ant final decision. I don't see myself making it to 35, but who knows?

 

[back_to_oblivion]

I always thought 35 is a nice age, not too old, not too young. Having lived through your 20s and half of your 30s, you have a good picture of what life is. Maybe it is easier for people who knew you to accept that you committed suicide when you're past that age because you already lived through what are supposed to be the best years in life. I definitely don't want to live into my 40s or further, living out half or more than half of my life before I ctb. But 35 already feels like waiting too long for me, I'm not sure I can wait that long, I really don't want to.

 

[DisillusionedDragon]

I think you'll know when the time has come to leave. It's completely individual, there's no best age.

 

[it's_all_a_game]

I think at least until you're 25 or older if we're gonna gatekeep. That's when the brain stops developing.

 

[Hurt]

I've been wanting to do it for years. Guess there's no age. Just when I had enough of life. Today I find myself enjoying some things in life so I will pospose my attempt.

 

[Brayu]

I agree with your sentiments. Unless there is serious physical pain, sub-30s could be on the young side.

I do notice how many people have deep loneliness as a factor in their decision to CTB. It feels unfortunate because often there is just a need for advice. We are mis-educated when growing up, emasculated, stripped of our essential personalities while navigating the slaughterhouse of school. Then we wonder why we struggle to make meaningful connections when we are not ourselves. The cultural conditioning just needs to be reversed.

Having said that, I'm 40 and still haven't really overcome this problem. I am absolutely positively sure that I will draw a line in the sand soon. And yet, I feel like I could easily help someone younger to overcome it. Weird.

Help

 

[Pluto]

Help

Sure. Tell us more about your predicament. The most important thing is to be clear about what's going on and what needs to be done about it.

There's a theory in psychology called learned helplessness. It says that depression is caused by feelings of powerlessness, having totally lost control over events that are causing pain. But often the problem is having given up and accepted the suffering, when a solution might already be at hand. Someone who interprets events differently would find a solution.

The one who sinks into utter despair interprets pain or failures using the 'three Ps'.

Personal: There is something uniquely dreadful about me that causes this outcome
Pervasive: This is not an isolated failure but a part of a completely messed up life
Permanent: This situation will never get better

If you're open to questioning these assumptions, feel free to ask me anything.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

Physical abilities decrease from the age of 25 up and we reach our intellectual climax about 35. From than evolution wants us to die because it becomes increasingly harder to survive under original conditions (hunter-gatherers). In this respect the result of the above poll is plausible.
For me for me as an old man it´s important to do it as long as I am able to do it by myself.

 

[RazzleDazzle]

Sure. Tell us more about your predicament. The most important thing is to be clear about what's going on and what needs to be done about it.

There's a theory in psychology called learned helplessness. It says that depression is caused by feelings of powerlessness, having totally lost control over events that are causing pain. But often the problem is having given up and accepted the suffering, when a solution might already be at hand. Someone who interprets events differently would find a solution.

The one who sinks into utter despair interprets pain or failures using the 'three Ps'.

Personal: There is something uniquely dreadful about me that causes this outcome
Pervasive: This is not an isolated failure but a part of a completely messed up life
Permanent: This situation will never get better

If you're open to questioning these assumptions, feel free to ask me anything.

Ugh. But what if you actually really have no control over events that are causing you pain? Serious question.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Ugh. But what if you actually really have no control over events that are causing you pain? Serious question.

Psychology would still persist on the claim that it is your hopeless attitude thats the cause of your suffering. It can never be a truly helpless and hopeless situation thats the cause. The way you feel is totally under your control!

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Suffering is relative. I do think it's a real shame if anyone ctb's regardless of age but of course it's extra sad when someone is very young. I'd like to think that any type of trauma or mental illness is manageable with the right meds and support, but deep down I know that's far from the reality.

Of course when you get older and you're chronically ill with no answers or help it really is game over. Add in the inevitable life-bullshit that gets thrown onto the pile with an x number of years on this ball of mud and it's no wonder people don't want to stick around.

 

[RazzleDazzle]

Physical abilities decrease from the age of 25 up and we reach our intellectual climax about 35. From than evolution wants us to die because it becomes increasingly harder to survive under original conditions (hunter-gatherers).

Evolution doesn't want anything. It's not an external force, it's the label for a process that happens on its own. Creatures who pass their genes on to offspring who then go on to survive long enough to reproduce contribute to the gene pool. Those genes get passed on because they're "successful," even if they include a bunch of wacky genes that don't really do anything useful. Evolution doesn't go around wanting us to die after a certain age, just like it doesn't go around getting rid of extraneous shit like our appendix.

And once any creature gets involved in social groups, evolutionary survival starts to be affected by the social structures of the group as a whole. A society that includes non-procreating people (the gays, people too old to make babies, people who don't want to turn into their fucking parents and refuse to fuck up kids of their own) is a society that is more complex than just a bunch of people who are only looking after their own kids, and so there's a potential added survival benefit for kids in that group. So there's really no evolutionary benefit for killing people off once they can't successfully procreate.

 

[GreenTree]

Ah. Bingo. That's it right there, that's exactly where I am. Thank you.

I think the younger you are the better chance of fighting mental illness. You got more energy. Hope you feel OK soon.

 

[Snake of Eden]

And once any creature gets involved in social groups, evolutionary survival starts to be affected by the social structures of the group as a whole. A society that includes non-procreating people (the gays, people too old to make babies, people who don't want to turn into their fucking parents and refuse to fuck up kids of their own) is a society that is more complex than just a bunch of people who are only looking after their own kids, and so there's a potential added survival benefit for kids in that group. So there's really no evolutionary benefit for killing people off once they can't successfully procreate.

But isnt resouces for survival should be used in favour of those who procreate and their offspring. Unproductive elements of society are a drain on resources with no evolutionary benefit for continuing existence. I know this sound eugenic but isnt it logical reason to die?

 

[Bxbrowler]

What is the best age to kill yourself?

Personally, I think that by the time you're in your 30s, especially mid-30s, you have a good idea of the rest of your life will be like and can make a rational decision if life is for you or not. I think that 18 is a tragedy unless you have severe mental or physical illness, you can reinvent yourself at that age. Any age before 25 is young enough to radically change who you are. By your 30s, you're pretty much stuck how you are. I'm 34 now, and think that this the year I'll die. Hey, I gave it a good shot, but you know what, life just isn't for me. Life doesn't offer enough pleasure to justify wage-slaving 40 hours a week for the rest of my life, especially since I have no wife or gf for emotional support. I'm never going to experience young naive teenage love, I'm never going to have a hot 20-something wife, I never even got to really enjoy my 20s. Meh..

Why does your cat look so sad ....I think it needs antidepressants....

 

[seeking2learn]

Best age is when you actually do it.

 

[stilldreaming]

What is the best age to kill yourself?

Personally, I think that by the time you're in your 30s, especially mid-30s, you have a good idea of the rest of your life will be like and can make a rational decision if life is for you or not. I think that 18 is a tragedy unless you have severe mental or physical illness, you can reinvent yourself at that age. Any age before 25 is young enough to radically change who you are. By your 30s, you're pretty much stuck how you are. I'm 34 now, and think that this the year I'll die. Hey, I gave it a good shot, but you know what, life just isn't for me. Life doesn't offer enough pleasure to justify wage-slaving 40 hours a week for the rest of my life, especially since I have no wife or gf for emotional support. I'm never going to experience young naive teenage love, I'm never going to have a hot 20-something wife, I never even got to really enjoy my 20s. Meh..

I'm slightly younger than you, I agree with your take. That said, I certainly thought hard about suicide just over 20 years ago...then once more at age 18, after high school, I thought it was probably hopeless. Turned out, I was right.

But I gave it a shot, saw doctors and therapists and took / am taking medication. So I simply believe I should be allowed to end things peacefully. There should be limits to how much we have to suffer for the sake of others. Heck I even fell in love and married someone from another suicide forum. (Dare I say it, I was that hot 20-something wife?!)

Falling in love is pretty amazing, I do recommend it. I'm pretty cynical, so I believe the formula is pretty simple: shared vulnerability between two people who react very positively (as in, they cherish) of the other's vulnerability.

Got to experience naïve teenage love in my 20s, I'm sure 30s isn't a big stretch. But yeah. I think in my 'ideal' society, minimum age of 30 to peacefully exit and say five years of treatment. I suppose I might even allow age 35, even though I'd hafta wait around for a bit. But, it'd be worth it if I could peacefully exit.

Hope you're reasonably okay x

 

[M.M]

Around 30 is good. at that age your fundamental life pattern is well-established.
25 and 35 is also good for some I think.
Ofc it varies by people.

 

[Dysgenic Pup]

Well, philosophical argument aside, the U.S. government obviously thinks if you're 18, you capable of being forced to die in war as the Selective Service is still a thing. Hell, you can even enlist in the military at 17 with parental consent. The recent vehicle bombings at the Kabul airport took the lives of multiple 20 year old U.S. Marines. Who allowed them to be there, to die? Just to give you a perspective of how the government will do all it can to stop your life from being wasted, unless your life is used to fuel their desires. People protesting this website, should be protesting military enlistment and the Selective Service System.

 

[Quinlor]

My wish was that I never ever had the urge to ctb but obvious it's not the case... so the problem isn't the age you have but "when" you collapsing happened. For me every ten years something always happens that makes me want to ctb.

 

[Pluto]

Psychology would still persist on the claim that it is your hopeless attitude thats the cause of your suffering. It can never be a truly helpless and hopeless situation thats the cause. The way you feel is totally under your control!

What you describe can happen. It is better to treat psychology as a tool. Every tool has its place, but also its limits, which is why buildings are not demolished with rubber mallets.

Ugh. But what if you actually really have no control over events that are causing you pain? Serious question.

We are speaking very generally now. It is true that different people react differently to similar events. Some experience less pain because they interpret events differently (see the 'three Ps' in my last post). Others bounce back far more than others because they are not so quick to abandon hope. (Support, resources, upbringing, genes and other factors play a role, too.)

As far as events go, there may be a solution to either get out of a situation or to change it. Sometimes a different person's perspective has the answer and it would be a mistake to attempt it alone, or to seek help in the wrong place.

Failing that, we know that CTB is a last resort. At least if we have followed a process of making every effort, we can do so in good conscience.