Discussion What is it like to feel accepted? And loved?

[DownwardSpiral]

Maybe this isn't the best place to ask this, but idk where else. I have only ever been around people who I felt held me back and forced me to mask my true self. I was raised to put other people first which always lead me into toxic codependent relationships with people who didn't respect my boundaries. Once there was a woman who was willing to accept me for who I was. It felt so nice for a little bit, but I sabotaged it very quickly so it never went anywhere.

Since then I have always wondered how amazing it must be to feel accepted by others. So for those of you who have experienced that, what does it feel like? Did you feel content, happy, comfortable, safe, etc.? Did you have hope for your future? Does it feel good to have someone lift you up instead of drag you down? Could you be honest about your feelings without being afraid? Does love make life worth living? Sorry if that's too many questions.

 

[derpyderpins]

"Worth living" will always be subjective.

But it can feel incredible. And unlike other good feelings. It's not necessarily a pleasure or euphoria, but it can hit like a clearing of miasma around your heart. The spiritual equivalent of clouds clearing to allow the sun to shine through.

It's worth fighting for and not giving up on, imo. It's hard when someone has never had it and gotten jaded on the idea of human interaction because of it.

Just be ready to be supportive to that person as well. I think it's difficult when you've always put others first and been taken advantage of - because that first relieving feeling of support tempts you to overindulge and take too much, but two people mutually supporting each other is awesome.

 

[DownwardSpiral]

- because that first relieving feeling of support tempts you to overindulge and take too much

Yes, that is how my experience went. I feel so bad about it. Thank you for your kind message. It helps a lot.

 

[enough of this]

Maybe this isn't the best place to ask this, but idk where else. I have only ever been around people who I felt held me back and forced me to mask my true self. I was raised to put other people first which always lead me into toxic codependent relationships with people who didn't respect my boundaries. Once there was a woman who was willing to accept me for who I was. It felt so nice for a little bit, but I sabotaged it very quickly so it never went anywhere.

Since then I have always wondered how amazing it must be to feel accepted by others. So for those of you who have experienced that, what does it feel like? Did you feel content, happy, comfortable, safe, etc.? Did you have hope for your future? Does it feel good to have someone lift you up instead of drag you down? Could you be honest about your feelings without being afraid? Does love make life worth living? Sorry if that's too many questions.

I would LOVE to find someone who would lift me up instead of dragging me down. That would definitely help to make life worth living.

 

[4colliez]

Since then I have always wondered how amazing it must be to feel accepted by others. So for those of you who have experienced that, what does it feel like? Did you feel content, happy, comfortable, safe, etc.? Did you have hope for your future? Does it feel good to have someone lift you up instead of drag you down? Could you be honest about your feelings without being afraid? Does love make life worth living? Sorry if that's too many questions.

I experienced genuine love and acceptance for a while. It made me feel like all the pain and suffering I went through up until that point finally had meaning, that it all lead to me finally being happy. I felt like I had someone in my corner who wanted to see me become the best version of myself. I gained a lot of confidence, wanted to work on myself and my future, I had discovered a whole new side of life I never thought id experience and I didn't hate who I was anymore. I remember one night I just laid in bed content and I thought "life is good"

Unfortunately im very much the type of person that you love less the more you know about. it feels like all of this was just a lie and that I was never loveable as the person I am at all. sometimes I wish it never happened

 

[Spite]

I wish I could tell you but unfortunately I don't know. I've never been accepted, at least not by the general populace.

 

[DownwardSpiral]

I experienced genuine love and acceptance for a while. It made me feel like all the pain and suffering I went through up until that point finally had meaning, that it all lead to me finally being happy. I felt like I had someone in my corner who wanted to see me become the best version of myself. I gained a lot of confidence, wanted to work on myself and my future, I had discovered a whole new side of life I never thought id experience and I didn't hate who I was anymore. I remember one night I just laid in bed content and I thought "life is good"

Unfortunately im very much the type of person that you love less the more you know about. it feels like all of this was just a lie and that I was never loveable as the person I am at all. sometimes I wish it never happened

wow that sounds wild. I'm sorry it ended up that way.

 

[krsm98]

tbh, similar to other stories here, its great, sometimes you meet someone whom you simply connect deeply and believe that you are beng acceoted or just simply have everything going well, but in the end it can also feel as bad when its all gone. If i have to say, its amazing and would recomend to cherish it with everything, and not be like me who is someone who most likely and most definitly gave away that and began to ruin it, till there was nothing left...
could it be bias on blaming myself for absolutely everything? yea, but i think i deserve the hell thst came with losing that so yeah.

Sorry for the tangent topic but its a special feeling that simlly begins to change you in special ways, and even get inspired to keep on living and get better, its like that warmth u feel on a peaceful cold rainy night in the blankets you know?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've mostly experienced this with individual friends. I imagine the excitement could well be similar to falling in love in a way. Just this sense that you are both so in tune in enjoying the same thing or, having the same happy experience. Or- feeling understood in what you are worrying about and feeling able to share it without burdening them. I agree with derpyderpins though- it needs to be reciprocal. You need to be there for each other equally.

Plus, there was a genuine sense of gratitude too. That- somehow- given all the people in the world- you had met one another.

I suppose it made everything better though. It was nicer to share experiences and we were there for one another when we were struggling.

My best friend truly felt like my soul mate for a time. That's kind of the unfortunate part though. Even very close friendships can drift and- that can be extremely painful. While it was lovely at the time- it's not something I would look to repeat- because the risk and pain of losing that connection I tend to feel outweighs having it now.

The problem with feeling so understood by someone- in my experience anyway- was that I became too overly reliant on them to help me stabalise emotionally. And, eventually- they (naturally) looked to their partner for that relationship. It's very risky to end up needing someone else to feel stable. So- for me- it's better I don't form those relationships to be honest. It took a while but, I am in fact ok on my own.

I think it tends to have pros and cons to it but, those who desperately need that I think are at risk of becoming overly reliant- if that makes sense?

I don't think I have Borderline Personality Disorder but- I imagine it was something close to having a Favourite Person.

 

[Pluto]

 

[etherealgoddess]

Maybe this isn't the best place to ask this, but idk where else. I have only ever been around people who I felt held me back and forced me to mask my true self. I was raised to put other people first which always lead me into toxic codependent relationships with people who didn't respect my boundaries. Once there was a woman who was willing to accept me for who I was. It felt so nice for a little bit, but I sabotaged it very quickly so it never went anywhere.

Since then I have always wondered how amazing it must be to feel accepted by others. So for those of you who have experienced that, what does it feel like? Did you feel content, happy, comfortable, safe, etc.? Did you have hope for your future? Does it feel good to have someone lift you up instead of drag you down? Could you be honest about your feelings without being afraid? Does love make life worth living? Sorry if that's too many questions.

Honestly, I don't think anyone ever truly accepts anyone for who they are. I know that people may have friendships and all, but friendships are typically conditional. Even if someone says, "They love me for who I am," I bet you that they're subconsciously filtering the things they say or do so that they aren't getting in conflict with the person. Maybe they like your personality and you as a person, but they probably also like a lot of what they're actually getting from you. Most people would stop liking you as a person if you stopped providing what they want or make them confront things about themselves that they don't want to see. We naturally have to hide certain parts of ourselves and adjust ourselves to get along with other people. There's no way you can truly be yourself around anyone unless you want lots of friction.

 

[DownwardSpiral]

Honestly, I don't think anyone ever truly accepts anyone for who they are. I know that people may have friendships and all, but friendships are typically conditional. Even if someone says, "They love me for who I am," I bet you that they're subconsciously filtering the things they say or do so that they aren't getting in conflict with the person. Maybe they like your personality and you as a person, but they probably also like a lot of what they're actually getting from you. Most people would stop liking you as a person if you stopped providing what they want or make them confront things about themselves that they don't want to see. We naturally have to hide certain parts of ourselves and adjust ourselves to get along with other people. There's no way you can truly be yourself around anyone unless you want lots of friction.

That is very true. Even with a "perfect" relationship you cannot escape the struggles of life because we are imperfect humans