Discussion What (if anything) would stop you from feeling this way (suicidal)?

[Cockney_Rebel]

For me, it would probably be being rid of tinnitus.

Sure, I have EUPD/BPD & OCD, but they pale in comparison to the constant torture that is tinnitus.

 

[motel rooms]

Death.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Can't really think of anything. Money or a gf wouldn't change it, being needed in some way probably wouldn't cut it either tbh. Social status, maybe, probably not though.

Either all of the above at once or that my life somehow turns into call of duty (or some other fps).

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

Can't really think of anything. Money or a gf wouldn't change it, being needed in some way probably wouldn't cut it either tbh. Social status, maybe, probably not though.

Either all of the above at once or that my life somehow turns into call of duty or some other fps.

Are you a gamer?

I used to love my gaming ... it was a great way to take me away from life for a while (usually all day and night!)

Sadly, I lost my desire to game quite a few months ago. I just lost the urge to pick up a controller and lose myself in a story or some competitive online gaming.

 

[ClownMe]

No matter what, I know i would commit suicide eventually unless there was a complete restructure of society.

In saying that, i probably wouldnt be planning to commit suicide in my early 20's if i had a decent job, some friends and a family who actually cared about me.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Are you a gamer?

I used to love my gaming ... it was a great way to take me away from life for a while (usually all day and night!)

Sadly, I lost my desire to game quite a few months ago. I just lost the urge to pick up a controller and lose myself in a story or some competitive online gaming.

I spent my entire free time gaming from age 8 or something (great parenting, btw). I slowly developed anhedonia from age 17 but still kept on gaming until recently (23) even though it didn't give me any pleasure or excitement, I simply used it to pass the time. Right now I think time passes quickly enough without gaming, so I use the forum, music and exercise to pass the time in the proverbial basement.

But I'd love for my life to get turned into an fps or something. I have a desire to fight people in various ways, and I can't since it is either illegal or requires me to befriend normies.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I spent my entire free time gaming from age 8 or something (great parenting, btw). I slowly developed anhedonia from age 17 but still kept on gaming until recently (23) even though it didn't give me any pleasure or excitement, I simply used it to pass the time. Right now I think time passes quickly enough without gaming, so I use the forum, music and exercise to pass the time in the proverbial basement.

But I'd love for my life to get turned into an fps or something. I have a desire to fight people in various ways, and I can't since it is either illegal or requires me to befriend normies.

Sounds like MMA or full contact Muay Thai would suit you.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Sounds like MMA or full contact Muay Thai would suit you.

or requires me to befriend normies.

Already tried, don't fit in and they barely even spar.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

Already tried, don't fit in and they barely even spar.

I'm not talking about training, I'm talking about competing.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I'm not talking about training, I'm talking about competing.

Lol, already checked that out as well and it 1. requires training (duh) and 2. the competitions are only like once or twice a year. I'd obviously lose to people that train. Getting a bit annoyed with this conversation, tbh.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

Lol, already checked that out as well and it 1. requires training (duh) and 2. the competitions are only like once or twice a year. I'd obviously lose to people that train. Getting a bit annoyed with this conversation, tbh.

Sounds like you've not found the right camp.

I trained Muay Thai for quite some time, and we sparred constantly.

Also, we held events all the time, and also travelled to Thailand to compete.

You seem to have an anger problem, so I'd channel that if I were you.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

A cure for my physical disabilities and chronic illnesses. Proper, long-term mental health care by a therapist that has an in depth understanding of complex PTSD, personality disorders and dissociative disorders. Plus a professional that doesn't blame and invalidate the survivor further, and then suggest it's all their fault if the medication and therapy they're receiving is unhelpful. This is a rare specimen, it seems.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Sounds like you've not found the right camp.

I trained Muay Thai for quite some time, and we sparred constantly.

Also, we held events all the time, and also travelled to Thailand to compete.

You seem to have an anger problem, so I'd channel that if I were you.

I can't be around normies for long periods of time.

 

[FuneralCry]

A body free of chronic illnesses and the ability to get rid of select memories.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Get rid of autism? But then I would be a completely different personality so the body would be the same but not the mind.

 

[Rustysoupcan]

I think having good friends. I dont have anyone in my life and even though I would still be depressed I would at least know people care about me, and I would have someone to talk to.

 

[Pen>Sword]

Become a multi-millionaire overnight by winning a lottery in my 20s. I have a belief that money can buy happiness, it depends on how the person spends it. I could donate half of my money and make my heart melt. I could bring my parents into early retirement, then I no longer have to worry about their well being. I could be the health insurance of my extended family in my homeland, and never have to worry about money again. Money can buy happiness, but there are limitations, and one has to be careful on spending and sharing that information.

 

[BandAddict]

I've thought about this, but nothing realistic that I can come up with would really do it for me.

People keep saying I need friends, but I don't want any, I can't make healthy relationships and I burn out easily. Money would be nice, but it'd just put off CTB for a while at best. I could start therapy again but I just don't feel like I have the time and patience to start over for a chance to find the "perfect" one.

Sometimes I feel like if I let myself completely relapse into my ED I'd live solely for that again. But that in itself is a means to an end anyway.

In a perfect world, maybe I'd have a chance. No trauma or shitty people to fuck you up, no demonic rule over this earth, just something completely different. Then maybe.

 

[makebelieve]

Getting rid of acne and acne scars

 

[ornitier199]

Nothing would truly make me stop, rather just delay it.
But I think my past here may have answered this

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Answered this on another thread.

Nothing realistic. The ability to transfer me into the body of a young female, or to go back in time for me to be an assigned female at birth.

Wouldn't eliminate the suicidal feelings as I'd CTB in my 40s bc i dont like old age, but it'd keep me alive for another 10 years as opposed to now and I wouldn't have hated myself in my youth.

 

[Lost Magic]

I have already lived a fairly long time. Nothing is desirable anymore. It's just tiring been stuck in a body for decades long.

 

[HappyForever?]

A girlfriend.

 

[Deformationalplagio]

Being rid of my deformity, so basically not gonna happen. I have bad titinus too but i dont really mind it probably because i was born this way

 

[waiting4thenextbus]

$10 million USD and no less! Also two new knees.

 

[Hirokami]

Completely getting rid of my anxiety, depression, and traumatic thoughts would help a ton. Also, having a sense of self-love would be great, as well.

Alternatively, being around people who actually foster a calm and constructive environment would also help. It really, really doesn't help to live around people who are full of themselves. And it's not like I have much of a choice, either.

 

[Bombastus]

I thought a lot about this post, trying to change the words to make it sound less basic. Feels wrong to just say sex and money. I think a better way to put it might be love, peace and security. I want to feel like someone cares have a partner that I can share life with (if I had the money to experience life), I want to be able to afford to live - pay my bills, pay the rent, buy groceries, maybe even go to the movies or out for a meal - maybe even a camping trip. I don't want to have my mind constantly imploding knowing that I'm only one crap paycheque away from homelessness. I live in Australia, I'm not too dark, but if my skin was a little lighter it would help me out a lot

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Health and love.

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

I've actually been thinking about this a lot lately because I've been more suicidal in the past few years than since my teenage years. I've always been off & on suicidal, but once I got our of college and out of the house, the suicidal thoughts mostly came and went, with just really short periods of deep depression. However, I've now been like this for 4-5 years now and in some ways it seems to be getting worse.

After much pondering, I don't know for sure, but I do think that my weight has a lot to do with it. Unfortunately, no matter how much I detest the weight and hate myself because of it, I think I am so fearful of failure at the weight loss game, that I cannot make myself actively try. Back when I first started gaining weight, I struggled to lose it and when I finally did, it seemed like it only took a few months to come back. And totally eliminating all of the good food in life is not a life worth living either.

 

[hellispink]

I don't think there is anything in this world that can fill those holes and that emptiness. However, money in large quantities gives you freedom for movement, for living other experiences such as traveling and helping people in need which can be very rewarding. Money cannot buy health including mental. But it can help by facilitating mental health services including private hospital stays and it avoids people from worrying about wages paydays bills debts they cannot afford. So it just makes it a little bit more easier. Cbt can still happen nonetheless so it is not a definite way to avoid it.