Venting What I won’t write in the note

[emptyenvelopes]

Sometimes I get really sad and the only thing I can do to relieve that pressure just so I can let sleep briefly take me is to write my feelings into poems. I wrote this one last night in the peak of a sad spell and I wanted to share and see if anyone else felt the same or had any other words just too visceral to be written as your last. Here are mine:

I cannot bear it
My stupid, pitiful life
My utter loneliness
I have nothing left in me
To keep fighting
To keep going
It's all done
It's replace by grief
My hands are so cold
Nothing warms me
No me sees me
I must radiate sadness
But no one sees it
Or if they do
They don't comment on it
Why don't they say something
Because I am not worth
Even a minute of their lives
I am nothing
My death would mean nothing
They are happy to ignore me
Ignoring the parts of me
They don't wish to see
Seeing only who
They wish me to be
What difference will it make
If I disappear completely
I don't believe in a loving God
Yet still I pray
To God, to anyone listening
To please take my life away
Or give me the courage
To end it myself
This is my only wish
This is my last hope
This is my only relief
Against this never ending pain
I cannot bear it

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I think for me, it would be more the things that I would be worried would hurt people. I had a falling out with someone that I'll never be able to patch up, and that plays a big part in the reason why I feel like I need to die. I could never say that in a note.