What happens to the lonely people?

[ForgottenTomb]

I have been thinking about this for quite a while. When a functional, charismatic and funny person with multiple friends and family feels like he has to ctb, it's a tragedy. I agree. When the sentiment of 'Be kind to everyone, you never know what someone is going through' gets shared afterwards, I also agree.
But what happens to the people who fail to function on the level of everyone else, like having a career or education?
What happens to the people who haven't been successful socially to make themselves matter to other people?
What happens to the people who are ostracized from everyone around them, including family?
What happens to the people who are too mentally or physically ill to integrate into society?

You get the idea, and I think some of you can relate. The people who are seen as 'losers', because they haven't had much success moving their life and themselves forward. No one wants to associate with such a person and as a result no one remembers them before and after their passing. I have been thinking, for every person who has multiple friends and family members mourning for them, how many people have had no one come to their funeral and are forgotten about by everyone? Dead people who are completely overlooked?

I believe that their mental and physical well-being and worth as a person are just as important as people in the first scenario, though from my experience a lot of people disagree, regardless I will always think of the dead who have no one to mourn them instead. Especially the elderly have a problem with this, they don't matter apparently. If you are about to ctb, and you don't have anyone coming to your funeral in the future, I will be thinking of you :)

 

[LONE WOLF.]

@ForgottenTomb, l am one of those Dead people, l know no one will attend my cremation, l wouldn't wish my existence upon anyone, so Thank You for thinking of me and others like me,it is more appreciated than you'll ever know

 

[ForgottenTomb]

I've seen many ''lone wolves'' in my time, but the ones who really do live up to their title are invisible. I won't forget you, lone wolf. May you find the peace that you were looking for.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I have been thinking about this for quite a while. When a functional, charismatic and funny person with multiple friends and family feels like he has to ctb, it's a tragedy. I agree. When the sentiment of 'Be kind to everyone, you never know when someone is going through' gets shared afterwards, I also agree.
But what happens to the people who fail to function on the level on everyone else, like having a career or education?
What happens to the people who haven't been successfully socially to make themselves matter to other people?
What happens to the people who are ostracized from everyone around them, including family?
What happens to the people who are too mentally or physically ill to integrate into society?

You get the idea, and I think some of you can relate. The people who are seen as 'losers', because they haven't had much success moving their life and themselves forward. No one wants to associate with such a person and as a result no one remembers them before and after their passing. I have been thinking, for every person who has multiple friends and family members mourning for them, how many people have had no one come to their funeral and are forgotten about by everyone? Dead people who are completely overlooked?

I believe that their mental and physical well-being and worth as a person are just as important as people in the first scenario, though from my experience a lot of people disagree, regardless I will always think of the dead who have no one to mourn them instead. Especially the elderly have a problem with this, they don't matter apparently. If you are about to ctb, and you don't have anyone coming to your funeral in the future, I will be thinking of you :)

I tick all of those boxes you are describing.
I am one of those people whom society would class as a loser.
I am completely alone in this dreadful world.
I am broken by childhood abuse, bullying, and many betrayals too long to list.
I could never fit into this sick, twisted society.
This society is such an alien concept to me.
Only I, and the person shoving me into the oven shall be at my funeral.
Thank you for your post, and your kind words.
It's refreshing to hear a compassionate voice in this evil world.

 

[love_peep]

I am an example of a lonely person who fell into a severe depression.It so happened that my parents were alcoholics and From the age of 9 I was in shelters or orphanages. And the absence of anyone near me makes me give up because I just can't get out of bed and cook myself food because this seems to be a very difficult task. And to be honest, right now I will be 19 in June and I don't know if I will live up to this moment because 24/7 I want to do something bad with myself. I hope that I will cope with my condition but Faith is fading more and more every day.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I am an example of a lonely person who fell into a severe depression.It so happened that my parents were alcoholics and From the age of 9 I was in shelters or orphanages. And the absence of anyone near me makes me give up because I just can't get out of bed and cook myself food because this seems to be a very difficult task. And to be honest, right now I will be 19 in June and I don't know if I will live up to this moment because 24/7 I want to do something bad with myself. I hope that I will cope with my condition but Faith is fading more and more every day.

So sorry you have been through all of this. I can relate to not wanting to get out of bed and complete tasks. And also the harrowing loneliness.
I know that severe depression is actually capable of debilitating us in a physical way.
I am currently so down, that I feel rooted to my bed. Even keeping my eyes open is difficult.
I hope you manage to find the energy to cook and eat something later. Even doing something like this can seem like such a monumental task when suffering so much from depression.

 

[Forever Sleep]

@ForgottenTomb, l am one of those Dead people, l know no one will attend my cremation, l wouldn't wish my existence upon anyone, so Thank You for thinking of me and others like me,it is more appreciated than you'll ever know

I'll remember you- if you go before me that is- we both share a love of the lake district- if I remember rightly? Not the same I know but I guess we can all mourn one another remotely on here.

I agree by the way OP- it's so sad. Not just suicide either. Some people will die natural deaths with no one to mourn them.

Sometimes I wonder if their lives could have been any different. I wonder what happened to them to make them so isolated.

 

[FuneralCry]

But I guess that after all everything is erased for us and is forgotten about in death, eventually I bet that most of us won't even exist in the memories of those who continue to be trapped here, I would personally prefer to just be forgotten about as my existence is so incredibly meaningless and insignficant, I could never see suicide as being tragic as death is the end to all suffering and solves all problems, there are no disadvantages to not existing. Nothing can concern those who have left this world which is why I see not existing as being so ideal.

 

[jaxxon_sunn]

I never forget people. No matter how small of an influence they had on my life, especially in this community. I'll always think of those that say goodbye here and wish them very well; for their sufferings to cease. Even if they don't think they had anyone theres many that mourn in spirit. They are just as important as one with lots of support, as you said. I just want them to know they aren't completely alone, and won't be forgotten, or erased from time.

 

[ger3172]

I never forget people. No matter how small of an influence they had on my life, especially in this community. I'll always think of those that say goodbye here and wish them very well; for their sufferings to cease. Even if they don't think they had anyone theres many that mourn in spirit. They are just as important as one with lots of support, as you said. I just want them to know they aren't completely alone, and won't be forgotten, or erased from time.

this. grieving is a direct result of love. we mourn because we care.
i was friends with a member of this server who was really lonely despite his popularity here. he left multiple posts, a playlist, pictures. im the only one who has saved all that and it pains me so much. ill be visiting his grave on his birthday.

 

[Rob1984]

But what happens to the people who fail to function on the level of everyone else, like having a career or education?
What happens to the people who haven't been successful socially to make themselves matter to other people?
What happens to the people who are ostracized from everyone around them, including family?
What happens to the people who are too mentally or physically ill to integrate into society?

I think the 3rd one (ostracized from everybody in life) is the main one you are really asking about, because it presupposes the rest of them. And the answer is: they are forgotten quicker than other people. Only the most significant humans in history are remembered, and at best, they are briefly talked about in a history class. Maybe if they are lucky they get a statue for birds to shit on lol. I suppose this will all actually start changing a bit because we can easily document our lives. For example, people today that will one day be great-great-great-great grandparents, they will have HD videos of their lives from their iphones, etc. So our relatives aren't gonna be forgotten nearly as quickly as people in the past. But in the end, I think we will all be forgotten eventually, and depending on what happens to the human race, even the mot famous humans will possibly vanish from the history books. But yeah, hermits are just forgotten quicker.

I believe that their mental and physical well-being and worth as a person are just as important as people in the first scenario, though from my experience a lot of people disagree

I completely agree with this sentiment, and tbh, I find it really unfortunate this even needs to be said. Of course people who are in some way unfit/unhealthy/etc. are of equal value compared to people who are supposedly healthy. But I know a lot of people who would disagree. These are the same people who think homeless people are inherently less valuable as a human. Or as you said, old people too. It's a really fucked up way of looking at humanity, but our society has never been known to hold healthy values in the first place. That's why I personally hate when people justify a certain line of reasoning by saying "most people in society agree." And my response is always "just because a lot of people subscribe to an idea doesn't automatically make it right or moral"

 

[That's Not Me]

John and Paul thought exactly that a few decades ago. What happened to Eleanor Rigby? The answer is quite simple: nothing. Before lonely people existed there was nothing, and there won't be anything afterwards. Nobody cared, of course, before they were born, and if nobody cared about these people in life, they probably won't care when they're gone. No one is going to remember and no one is going to care, however people with a kind heart like you may pay tribute to them, that's different. I think it is a very brave and noble act for a lonely person to specifically ask not to have a funeral. Funerals and burials of non-solitary people who had people who cared are depressing enough, but at least some people attend these funerals to follow social protocols and to not feel bad about themselves. The funeral of lonely people is much worse and will cause much more pain to the people who attend, usually just the family. They will see that no one has shown up and this will be another reason for their pain. In my view, I find it an act of kindness to avoid this burden when I am gone.

 

[grateful409]

I have been thinking about this for quite a while. When a functional, charismatic and funny person with multiple friends and family feels like he has to ctb, it's a tragedy. I agree. When the sentiment of 'Be kind to everyone, you never know what someone is going through' gets shared afterwards, I also agree.
But what happens to the people who fail to function on the level of everyone else, like having a career or education?
What happens to the people who haven't been successful socially to make themselves matter to other people?
What happens to the people who are ostracized from everyone around them, including family?
What happens to the people who are too mentally or physically ill to integrate into society?

You get the idea, and I think some of you can relate. The people who are seen as 'losers', because they haven't had much success moving their life and themselves forward. No one wants to associate with such a person and as a result no one remembers them before and after their passing. I have been thinking, for every person who has multiple friends and family members mourning for them, how many people have had no one come to their funeral and are forgotten about by everyone? Dead people who are completely overlooked?

I believe that their mental and physical well-being and worth as a person are just as important as people in the first scenario, though from my experience a lot of people disagree, regardless I will always think of the dead who have no one to mourn them instead. Especially the elderly have a problem with this, they don't matter apparently. If you are about to ctb, and you don't have anyone coming to your funeral in the future, I will be thinking of you :)

I completely understand. I am in a unique position where I stand on both sides of that equation a lot. I am the tragedy and the pity. You are 100% right that if I'm being functional, charismatic, and funny my struggles are worthwhile / be kind to everyone mantra.

Guess how I'm treated when I'm not being grateful enough? When I'm not performing enough or to their desire? When I'm not socializing the way they want me? It feels like they want me to kill myself. No lie.

It all revolves around what you can give to people. Nobody truly cares about you. Go from being functional to being a "loser". See how many people are willing to give up on your life.

 

[Bigsmoke777]

I have been thinking about this for quite a while. When a functional, charismatic and funny person with multiple friends and family feels like he has to ctb, it's a tragedy. I agree. When the sentiment of 'Be kind to everyone, you never know what someone is going through' gets shared afterwards, I also agree.
But what happens to the people who fail to function on the level of everyone else, like having a career or education?
What happens to the people who haven't been successful socially to make themselves matter to other people?
What happens to the people who are ostracized from everyone around them, including family?
What happens to the people who are too mentally or physically ill to integrate into society?

You get the idea, and I think some of you can relate. The people who are seen as 'losers', because they haven't had much success moving their life and themselves forward. No one wants to associate with such a person and as a result no one remembers them before and after their passing. I have been thinking, for every person who has multiple friends and family members mourning for them, how many people have had no one come to their funeral and are forgotten about by everyone? Dead people who are completely overlooked?

I believe that their mental and physical well-being and worth as a person are just as important as people in the first scenario, though from my experience a lot of people disagree, regardless I will always think of the dead who have no one to mourn them instead. Especially the elderly have a problem with this, they don't matter apparently. If you are about to ctb, and you don't have anyone coming to your funeral in the future, I will be thinking of you :)

I really like your post. The thought came up after reading this, I think the ones more likely to want to ctb are the lonely ones, the old people that dont matter anymore, the outcasts. It seems like an impossible situation. I'm a complete loser who failed at everything really, so I cant speak for all mentally ill, socially retarded weirdos, but being limited isnt something I think I could ever help. It just makes the quality of my life crap. As I seen another user say "It's completely my fault, and not my fault at all."

 

[absolomonisgone]

I have been thinking about this for quite a while. When a functional, charismatic and funny person with multiple friends and family feels like he has to ctb, it's a tragedy. I agree. When the sentiment of 'Be kind to everyone, you never know what someone is going through' gets shared afterwards, I also agree.
But what happens to the people who fail to function on the level of everyone else, like having a career or education?
What happens to the people who haven't been successful socially to make themselves matter to other people?
What happens to the people who are ostracized from everyone around them, including family?
What happens to the people who are too mentally or physically ill to integrate into society?

You get the idea, and I think some of you can relate. The people who are seen as 'losers', because they haven't had much success moving their life and themselves forward. No one wants to associate with such a person and as a result no one remembers them before and after their passing. I have been thinking, for every person who has multiple friends and family members mourning for them, how many people have had no one come to their funeral and are forgotten about by everyone? Dead people who are completely overlooked?

I believe that their mental and physical well-being and worth as a person are just as important as people in the first scenario, though from my experience a lot of people disagree, regardless I will always think of the dead who have no one to mourn them instead. Especially the elderly have a problem with this, they don't matter apparently. If you are about to ctb, and you don't have anyone coming to your funeral in the future, I will be thinking of you :)

i don't know...tonight, we didn't have electricity.., some shit storm of sorts..., so went to have a conversation with my gate guard. he is a real good guy like been having him for last 6 years or so. he's hired by the security company, so i never bother enganging with him..., then we got to have a conversation about the previous gate guard i had been assigned to...., that guy had all the problems life can give a person.., even had his toddler burned to death. and he saw the world was against him. ...., now the current guard is a very well adjusted guy with wife, 2 kids, a well adjusted self respecting man. Both guys were doing same jobs, but the attitude makes all the difference. ... depends on the myths, narratives, delusions and illussions and how much you buy into them. that's all.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I've seen many ''lone wolves'' in my time, but the ones who really do live up to their title are invisible. I won't forget you, lone wolf. May you find the peace that you were looking for.

@ForgottenTomb Thank You, As long as I get to cross Rainbow Bridge with my 2 Staffies l will have found the Peace l've been searching for my whole life! I wish you also find your heaven when your time comes

I'll remember you- if you go before me that is- we both share a love of the lake district- if I remember rightly? Not the same I know but I guess we can all mourn one another remotely on here.

I agree by the way OP- it's so sad. Not just suicide either. Some people will die natural deaths with no one to mourn them.

Sometimes I wonder if their lives could have been any different. I wonder what happened to them to make them so isolated.

Indeed the Lake District is a very special place, Once visited never forgotten