what else can i try? what helped you?

[2709mg]

since i can't ctb for a multitude of reasons right now (mainly, the health and safety of my baby sister), i want to eradicate or at least temporarily numb my suicidal desires because it is becoming increasingly difficult to live and perform as a normal person everyday. my moods are so erratic and my mind is constantly occupied with feelings of rage, guilt, and debilitating hopelessness. nothing provides me a release anymore, even when i give in and occasionally indulge my impulsive, destructive desires (typically involves risky sex, binge drinking, and self harm these days). i used to be more committed to living a healthier lifestyle but i've lost all motivation to maintain that since i still couldn't feel normal, let alone happy

my psychiatrist is unsure what to do with me anymore which i can understand. i've started and stopped various medications this year, and though the onboarding process for each med is an absolute nightmare every time, i'm still open to trying more because idk what else to do either. i wanna hear from you if you've had past experiences with these medications, or if you've found success with something else. meds, therapies, hobbies, anything. i am desperate for a resolution and basically willing to try anything i could realistically acquire in australia

these are the medications i've already tried:

1. effexor (75mg)- considering the withdrawal experience and plethora of side effects, i really had high hopes for effexor but it amounted to nothing in the end.
2. prozac (40mg)- no change
3. zoloft (100mg)- effective for 2-3 months, then nothing despite increasing dose
4. lamictal/lamotrigine (50mg)- unfortunately i had an allergic reaction to this med so i didn't even get to experience its full efficacy before stopping

 

[Endstati0n]

I took Olanzapin/Zyprexa off and on for years. Without it i wouldn't have been able to hold down a job, but it made me gain like 30kg. Now that i'm working on my own i'm not forced to take anything and it's much better, so i'd say maybe try to change other things instead of trying the med route. I know it's not that easy and stuff.

The only thing that helps me these days is taking 5g of Kratom almost everyday. I never take it more than once a day. Everything is still a struggle for me, and always will be. Like's just a drag idk.

 

[rxcha]

since i can't ctb for a multitude of reasons right now (mainly, the health and safety of my baby sister), i want to eradicate or at least temporarily numb my suicidal desires because it is becoming increasingly difficult to live and perform as a normal person everyday. my moods are so erratic and my mind is constantly occupied with feelings of rage, guilt, and debilitating hopelessness. nothing provides me a release anymore, even when i give in and occasionally indulge my impulsive, destructive desires (typically involves risky sex, binge drinking, and self harm these days). i used to be more committed to living a healthier lifestyle but i've lost all motivation to maintain that since i still couldn't feel normal, let alone happy

my psychiatrist is unsure what to do with me anymore which i can understand. i've started and stopped various medications this year, and though the onboarding process for each med is an absolute nightmare every time, i'm still open to trying more because idk what else to do either. i wanna hear from you if you've had past experiences with these medications, or if you've found success with something else. meds, therapies, hobbies, anything. i am desperate for a resolution and basically willing to try anything i could realistically acquire in australia

these are the medications i've already tried:

1. effexor (75mg)- considering the withdrawal experience and plethora of side effects, i really had high hopes for effexor but it amounted to nothing in the end.
2. prozac (40mg)- no change
3. zoloft (100mg)- effective for 2-3 months, then nothing despite increasing dose
4. lamictal/lamotrigine (50mg)- unfortunately i had an allergic reaction to this med so i didn't even get to experience its full efficacy before stopping

lmk if you figure out something that works for you because it's becoming increasingly hopeless but i can't leave my baby brother behind