what drove you to considering ctb

[gggy]

feel free to talk and vent about it down below.

 

[FuneralCry]

Because I don't have any interest in suffering for decades just to be tormented by old age and die anyway in this meaningless existence I never wished for in the first place. No matter what I'd see it as preferable to not exist as there are no disadvantages to sleeping eternally yet in existence there is unlimited potential to suffer endlessly, all that existence ever causes is harm and suffering, in fact I see it as such a horrific tragedy how life exists at all. For me existence itself is the problem which is why I only see the permanent absence of everything as being desirable.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Got tired of this meaningless anxious grind which only gets interrupted by hits and pain.

 

[Abyssal]

I mean, it's multiple things.

I got bullied at a young age, my misophonia limits my future capabilities, and most recently working is unbearable for me. I am simply less than human and that's my own fault.

 

[Terry A. Davis]

Lots and lots of different reasons. The more I found out about the world and how people work the more depressed I became and the more I realised 'good' and 'bad' were just man made ideas to keep the peace in the slave plantation, the more I wanted to leave this place and it's insanity.

Most people don't believe what they say and don't say what they believe. They lie all the time and come up with different personalities depending on who they are speaking with and the situation around them. You can't trust anyone. Why would I want to live in a world like that?

More recently, the idea we are just animals who accidentally became too complex in a simple world has been bugging me. I think it's true though, we look for reasons why we are here and get none. We look for the existence of God (if we have a typical idea of God being separate from the universe) and don't find him.

It's very possible there is a creator. But I don't think he is all loving or all knowing. I think it's very similar to the simpsons episode where lisa accidentally creates life from her tooth in a petri dish and static electricity. Lisa went down stairs for her breakfast and by the time she looked again they had moved from the stone age to the renaissance. I think Gods passage of time is similar to this if he is real.

 

[mortuarymary]

Bipolar, ME and long COVID. Less patience for this world too.

 

[4everDone]

A few wrong decisions and a sprinkle of bad timing. Just unlucky really

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Big failure in life, that's a kind of trauma bc all dreams I had for the rest of my life won't become true anymore.

 

[Cara7177]

I'm in financial ruin. Unemployed since November, don't qualify for unemployment because I was an independent contractor. $20k in credit card debt, can't afford food or the metro card swipe to get to a job interview. Friends refuse to know me now that I can't add to go to the events they go to. Therapist is beyond useless. Got $91 in food stamps for January but can't get any more because I cannot provide my original birth certificate. Phone, lights, and heat about to cut off. Landlord demands my clothes, furniture, and money from my father's estate. So I'm gonna kill myself in the apartment so he can never rent it again.

 

[sweetgirl666]

feel free to talk and vent about it down below.

many traumas, alcoholism and my head that kills me every day

 

[Uninfluential_Karma]

I don't even know what started it all actually, it's just always been here.

 

[pomcustard]

Been depressed since I was a kid and attempted when I was 18. I thought things would get better since then but it seems like I'm just not meant to live a long life. To be honest, I've never seen myself living till old age. I just always knew I'd be the one to end it.

 

[10minutesremaining]

ugly, weird personality, ridiculously lonely, crippling anxiety

 

[Manfrotto99]

Having nothing at all to live for, grieving my dog, loneliness, depression, abuse, loss, poverty, failure

 

[davidtorez]

Mostly because of my physical disabilities