Discussion 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' True or false?

[Forever Sleep]

I've found it to be false mostly. The very worst experiences in my life have made me retreat further into isolation. They have scared me off doing things that maybe would have benefitted me.

I suppose on occasion, by going through things that frightened me or, the worse case scenario coming to pass- it has proved that I can survive through it. I don't think it's necessarily given me the confidence to challenge myself in the future though. And, when the next awful experience comes along, I'm just as nervous. Plus of course, the very worst stuff loads us up with traumatic memories that we then have to carry with us.

I wonder if: 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger' is only something we say to ourselves as a kind of hopeful coping mechanism. How often do we say it before the event as opposed to after it? 'That that horrendous event was awful but hey- I'm stronger now.' Does it happen?

In Batman 'The Dark Knight', the Joker says: 'What doesn't kill you makes you stranger.' Do you suppose that's more accurate? Do too many bad experiences warp our characters- rather than making them stronger?

 

[sanction]

I've found it to be false mostly. The very worst experiences in my life have made me retreat further into isolation. They have scared me off doing things that maybe would have benefitted me.

I suppose on occasion, by going through things that frightened me or, the worse case scenario coming to pass- it has proved that I can survive through it. I don't think it's necessarily given me the confidence to challenge myself in the future though. And, when the next awful experience comes along, I'm just as nervous. Plus of course, the very worst stuff loads us up with traumatic memories that we then have to carry with us.

I wonder if: 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger' is only something we say to ourselves as a kind of hopeful coping mechanism. How often do we say it before the event as opposed to after it? 'That that horrendous event was awful but hey- I'm stronger now.' Does it happen?

In Batman 'The Dark Knight', the Joker says: 'What doesn't kill you makes you stranger.' Do you suppose that's more accurate? Do too many bad experiences warp our characters- rather than making them stronger?

Its mainly just a coping mechanism

In the end, life is truly pointless, since we were all born just to simply die in the very end

The best is just to simply not exist at all. All these different struggles to make us stronger, is mostly just bullshit

Of course, there are certain success stories where some people struggled and later became wildly successful, but those are so rare, its like the average person dreaming to become some superstar celebrity or crazily wealthy multi-millionaire

Most of the time it simply doesn't happen to the average person, so its more of a fantasy.

The best is simply non-existence, but unfortunately we're still stuck in this hell, so we need all these endless different coping mechanisms to get through this temporary and pointless existence, which in the very end simply leads to nowhere but nothingness once we're gone

 

[Le temps perdu]

I don't think this saying ('What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.') is true, because most of the time that shit could make me worse and miserable.

 

[peacebenow]

False

 

[AnxiousLife]

I agree with your "I've found it to be false mostly". Sure, there may be things, that can make someone stronger, even though it's uncomfortable. For example, voicing your own opinions or needs, even when feeling nervous/anxious (but it's kind of different from traumatic experiences).

But in most cases I think it just adds up as another bad or traumatic experience, which can further decrease your satisfaction with life, by making you more prone to things like depression, anxiety, anhedonia, dissociations, paranoia, avoidance etc.
Which aren't optimal for long term satisfaction.

 

[egegeg444]

False

 

[Hvergelmir]

I wonder if: 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger' is only something we say to ourselves as a kind of hopeful coping mechanism.

I think there's validity to the statement, it's just a bit overexaggerated to sound cool.
If we flipped it and toned it down a bit, it becomes more factually accurate: "People who never face adversity become weak."

When people start talking about death, killing, or catching bullets or whatever, it has to be taken with a grain of salt.

 

[Pluto]

 

[X-sanguinate86]

If challenges are administered in small doses we can overcome them and develop the ability to overcome slightly greater challenges in the future but that's usually not how things happen. So in the vast majority of situations the saying is false.

 

[Forveleth]

What doesn't kill you makes your therapist richer.

 

[iwanttodie019]

What doesn't kill you makes you wish that it did

 

[princess_fairy]

I don't agree with this quote myself; I have learned things from hard times but I would say the cons outweigh the pros

 

[itsgone2]

False.
My father died when I was young.
A surgeon made mistakes in a routine surgery.
Two jobs I loved destroyed by being sold.

None of these made me stronger. All have pushed me closer to the edge

 

[starboy2k]

"there's fates worse than death" is way more accurate than that quote imho

 

[Passenger4224]

Let's say I attempt to CTB and survive as a vegetable. Am I stronger?

Yeah no... the quote makes zero sense in this context, as well as many others...

 

[3spiral]

completely fucking false

 

[CowardKnight]

It didn't make me stronger, it made me depressed.

(and anxious, as a bonus).

 

[darksouls]

my sociopath sister always said that to me,
it did not work for me,
I am broken and still weak

 

[Forever Sleep]

my sociopath sister always said that to me,
it did not work for me,
I am broken and still weak

It's even worse when it's coming from someone who's making your life hell.

 

[Jadeith]

What doesn't kill me better start running because i will have no mercy on it for failing its task.

 

[memento-mori]

depends

 

[ihateittoo]

I've found it to be false mostly. The very worst experiences in my life have made me retreat further into isolation. They have scared me off doing things that maybe would have benefitted me.

I suppose on occasion, by going through things that frightened me or, the worse case scenario coming to pass- it has proved that I can survive through it. I don't think it's necessarily given me the confidence to challenge myself in the future though. And, when the next awful experience comes along, I'm just as nervous. Plus of course, the very worst stuff loads us up with traumatic memories that we then have to carry with us.

I wonder if: 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger' is only something we say to ourselves as a kind of hopeful coping mechanism. How often do we say it before the event as opposed to after it? 'That that horrendous event was awful but hey- I'm stronger now.' Does it happen?

In Batman 'The Dark Knight', the Joker says: 'What doesn't kill you makes you stranger.' Do you suppose that's more accurate? Do too many bad experiences warp our characters- rather than making them stronger?

after my suicide attempt(OD, didnt know it was unreliable at the time) this was august 28th 2025. I took around 1k mg of vyvanse, a bottle of lithium(not a lot left but some), lursadone and vilarzidone(probably mispelled this). I ironically never missed any school, I lost 10 pounds and was bedridden for 3 days, but those days were friday saturday and sunday so by monday I was able to go back and no one had the slightest idea. I had a few days where I thought god had a divine plan for me and would save me(bipolar). I quit all therapy and havent been back since. but after that period of euphoria my life really started going downhill.

what doesnt kill you puts you in a much darker spot if were being honest. as im writing this i have to fight back the urge to throw up. even thinking about my od makes me feel sick to my stomach. but its important to talk about. please never od, it isnt worth it.

 

[CatLvr]

Now THIS is the truth. Or at least it has worked that way for me -- I'm blunt to a fault, crass enough to make any blue-collar person on the planet blush and old enough that everything irritates the ever living fuck outta me more often than not.

 

[EternalShore]

Woah~ I agree with everyone here quite a fair bit~ xD I wish it killed me so much~ >_<

anyways, it doesn't make me stronger~ It just gives me mental issues I have to overcome and makes me wish I were dead~ :/

 

[xKiraSlumberx]

Definitely false. While I do think sometimes overcoming small discomforts or fears can feel good and like an achievement, other times, it's not even that. Maybe the feeling after doing that is just relief that it's over but never wanting it to happen again. However, if something large is thrown your way, things more than likely aren't gonna be good when coming out on the other side. I assume the saying is usually used for instances like the second example, so it's false, in my opinion.

 

[Lamentice]

'What doesn't kill you makes you stranger.' Do you suppose that's more accurate? Do too many bad experiences warp our characters- rather than making them stronger?

Yeah that's what I believe. I could.. maybe.. be categorized as "resillient"; live alone, have a job. But then you take a closer lens and it's: apartment is filthy, dishes haven't been done in months, trash is piling up, there's mold in the shower, piles of laundry, I've got debt, I have a job- but not a career, no higher education, no health insurance, no car, don't date, I used to do more social activities.. I stopped.., and I'm on this site and I have plans to buy a gun.

If the measurment is whether I am a druggie or on the streets or something, I guess I am "resilient", but not really, and I'm one corner turn away from that anyway, always.

I don't have energy.. or motivation.. I'm constantly stressed out about the state of my apartment, paying off my debt, but then I can't get myself out of bed to clean. I can't even get myself out of bed into work on time, always just a little bit late and just lucky they don't care.

What is strong about this? I don't actually function, once you really look at my life--if someone ever got the access--there is no functioning.

I've met some truly battered people. The person I was in love with for a few years was sex trafficked, had been homeless, was in an abusive living situation, was struggling with addiction, they still had goals and motivations and a large support network though, and now they're doing better!

Maybe some people are stronger, as a blanket statement though I don't think this is accurate. Many of us are not, and we shouldn't have to be, this isn't some test of our character from the universe or a god, it's just shit and it's just damage.

 

[lilyistootired]

Two possible answers:
a) definitely not, a bunch of stuff hasn't killed me but has left me far weaker and more fragile in general.
b) I don't know because I won't know if what happened killed me until/unless I CTB.