You know all my life I was in favor of seeking out help of professionals. And I advocated in favor of that on here very frequently. Even when one of my therapist gave me up and gaslit me and lied to my mom afterwards. I thought maybe this was one bad apple. But now my therapist wrote lies in my medical records to ruin my life and the whole system is backing her. I am just disgusted by this despicable system.
Yes, I think one really should try therapy and medication before committing suicide. And I think suicide should a method of last resort. But damn I wasn't aware how totally screwed you are when a therapist does something like that. I have basically no means to protect me and my medical records. My psychiatrist was defending her. And the organization who should monitor her totally backed her. There is so much evidence she is lying. It is so fucking obvious. And I know for fact they are aware she is lying. Her lies are hilariously stupid. The internet is full of reviews that these people are not interested in investigating therapists. Instead they back each other. On here a trans friend of mine told me their therapist raped them I think when they were a minor. And seemingly noone cares. Do they really sink so low to defend them even in such cases too? This world is really rotten. And then they posture themselves as saints. They mostly care about their reputation I guess...these people disgust me....
So if there are massive power imbalances in the system between therapists and patients...and the system who should protect the rights of patient doesn't give a shit. Who is surprised that therapists are abusing their power? I am also concerned I am so open about it on here on Sanctioned Suicide. I think people on here should be more open towards therapy and medication. Though, sadly exactly this happened to me. I would be more content if I could share an empowering message about therapy. I had two somewhat good therapists. But now I am simply speechless. And if I mentioned all their names and called them out this would be really problematic. This is why I won't do that. But they shouldn't be surprised if people lose trust in therapy if there are no consequences for such an obvious abuse of power. If I knew that I would have been way more careful when choosing my therapist. But I was on the edge of suicide. I was desperate. And then my own fucking therapist stabs me in the back by trying to ruin my reputation. She knows how suicidal I was. She knows I am dependent on the help of the system. Well read that you scientists that study this forum. This is a lesson you can learn. This system is filthy, corrupt and there is actually only one place where you are allowed to openly talk about it. And yes that's Sanctioned Suicide.
If these are the incentive structures and there is no justice you shouldn't wonder why there is lack of trust in the system. Why suicidal people don't open up towards you. I am speechless. I am so fucking disgusted. Obviously there will be narcisisstic therapists who exploit the system. And they the upper ones are well aware of how the system works. I could imagine there will be a story dropping in a couple of years or decades that shines light on this rotten, corrupt system in my country after like dozens of people kill themselves. Then they will say "Oh, gosh how didn't we see that...how horrible these circumstances were and we were just blind to see it. We are so sorry..." No the people behind the system look away on purpose. Because all they do is they care about getting their money and their fucking reputation as saints.
I think they lack ethics and principles. It is Gesinnungsethik (ethics of conviction) and not Verantwortungsethik (ethics of responsiblity) how Max Weber would call it. Exactly this attitude makes the rise of political extermism (of the far right) easier. You know I simply cannot trust therapists any longer. I have the feeling I cannot go to mental health clinics anymore. My trust is gone. And this isn't good. A person like me with severely persistent suicidality is dependent on help. Though, seemingly they want to condemn me to be quiet. The only outlet where I can talk freely about this is an anonymous suicide forum. If I open up the other professionals they will most likely blame me for reporting them. I cannot go to a mental health clinics anymore because they probably don't like patients that potentially report them. And then I am in the positions of this digusting role reversal of victim and perpetrator. (My therapist did that all the fucking time...) I am actually the bad one for standing up against injustice. I am the bad one for defending myself and for trying to contribute that other people don't find themselves in the same position. I am the bad one for raising my voice against abuse. You know you could say all of that is my subjective opinion. Though, this has real life consequences on my mental health. This whole thing made me really fucking suicidal again. This totally messes with my brain. You are in such a vulnerable situation in therapy. How sick must you be to exploit such a situation. In the longrun this might contribute to my suicide substantially. I really think more about suicide since all of this happened. I don't feel safe in the current system anymore. And there are not many people I can open up too. Because the whole fucking system plays the game of victim perpetrator role reversal. And I am actually the one to blame. I have the feeling my suicidality is a time bomb. And if I kill myself I know who will have contributed to this outcome. These people will have to deal with it. There will come a time when people start to raise their voice. Because sooner or later justice will prevail. Or maybe the whole system will simply explode. And AI will take all their jobs. And we all end up getting fucked. Such dynamics make me sympathize with societal collapse a little bit. If the system is that corrupt maybe it is right that all of it is on the edge of exploding or imploding.
Yes, I think one really should try therapy and medication before committing suicide. And I think suicide should a method of last resort. But damn I wasn't aware how totally screwed you are when a therapist does something like that. I have basically no means to protect me and my medical records. My psychiatrist was defending her. And the organization who should monitor her totally backed her. There is so much evidence she is lying. It is so fucking obvious. And I know for fact they are aware she is lying. Her lies are hilariously stupid. The internet is full of reviews that these people are not interested in investigating therapists. Instead they back each other. On here a trans friend of mine told me their therapist raped them I think when they were a minor. And seemingly noone cares. Do they really sink so low to defend them even in such cases too? This world is really rotten. And then they posture themselves as saints. They mostly care about their reputation I guess...these people disgust me....
So if there are massive power imbalances in the system between therapists and patients...and the system who should protect the rights of patient doesn't give a shit. Who is surprised that therapists are abusing their power? I am also concerned I am so open about it on here on Sanctioned Suicide. I think people on here should be more open towards therapy and medication. Though, sadly exactly this happened to me. I would be more content if I could share an empowering message about therapy. I had two somewhat good therapists. But now I am simply speechless. And if I mentioned all their names and called them out this would be really problematic. This is why I won't do that. But they shouldn't be surprised if people lose trust in therapy if there are no consequences for such an obvious abuse of power. If I knew that I would have been way more careful when choosing my therapist. But I was on the edge of suicide. I was desperate. And then my own fucking therapist stabs me in the back by trying to ruin my reputation. She knows how suicidal I was. She knows I am dependent on the help of the system. Well read that you scientists that study this forum. This is a lesson you can learn. This system is filthy, corrupt and there is actually only one place where you are allowed to openly talk about it. And yes that's Sanctioned Suicide.
If these are the incentive structures and there is no justice you shouldn't wonder why there is lack of trust in the system. Why suicidal people don't open up towards you. I am speechless. I am so fucking disgusted. Obviously there will be narcisisstic therapists who exploit the system. And they the upper ones are well aware of how the system works. I could imagine there will be a story dropping in a couple of years or decades that shines light on this rotten, corrupt system in my country after like dozens of people kill themselves. Then they will say "Oh, gosh how didn't we see that...how horrible these circumstances were and we were just blind to see it. We are so sorry..." No the people behind the system look away on purpose. Because all they do is they care about getting their money and their fucking reputation as saints.
I think they lack ethics and principles. It is Gesinnungsethik (ethics of conviction) and not Verantwortungsethik (ethics of responsiblity) how Max Weber would call it. Exactly this attitude makes the rise of political extermism (of the far right) easier. You know I simply cannot trust therapists any longer. I have the feeling I cannot go to mental health clinics anymore. My trust is gone. And this isn't good. A person like me with severely persistent suicidality is dependent on help. Though, seemingly they want to condemn me to be quiet. The only outlet where I can talk freely about this is an anonymous suicide forum. If I open up the other professionals they will most likely blame me for reporting them. I cannot go to a mental health clinics anymore because they probably don't like patients that potentially report them. And then I am in the positions of this digusting role reversal of victim and perpetrator. (My therapist did that all the fucking time...) I am actually the bad one for standing up against injustice. I am the bad one for defending myself and for trying to contribute that other people don't find themselves in the same position. I am the bad one for raising my voice against abuse. You know you could say all of that is my subjective opinion. Though, this has real life consequences on my mental health. This whole thing made me really fucking suicidal again. This totally messes with my brain. You are in such a vulnerable situation in therapy. How sick must you be to exploit such a situation. In the longrun this might contribute to my suicide substantially. I really think more about suicide since all of this happened. I don't feel safe in the current system anymore. And there are not many people I can open up too. Because the whole fucking system plays the game of victim perpetrator role reversal. And I am actually the one to blame. I have the feeling my suicidality is a time bomb. And if I kill myself I know who will have contributed to this outcome. These people will have to deal with it. There will come a time when people start to raise their voice. Because sooner or later justice will prevail. Or maybe the whole system will simply explode. And AI will take all their jobs. And we all end up getting fucked. Such dynamics make me sympathize with societal collapse a little bit. If the system is that corrupt maybe it is right that all of it is on the edge of exploding or imploding.
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