I have believed in God ever since I was young, but never really participated much in it, never went to church, or prayed before eating. However, religion was still part of my life, praying whenever convenient or asking for help. Last summer I experienced my first instance of religious psychosis, where I was convinced God hated me, that I was doomed to do the worst a person could do and God was punishing me for this. I had no proof of this but it felt as factual as the sky being blue, I wanted to repent so bad but I didn't know how or what for. Eventually, I broke out of it, and for a while, I was scared of even thinking about God too much but I started treating myself better and realizing I'm a good person, that bad things just happen and I'm not responsible for them. I slowly started looking into bible verses about God and his love for people, which was weird because I've never even read the bible and it made me realize that God isn't a resentful entity that only loves you when you succeed. He loves you no matter your mistakes and missteps, he is love itself. To explain what I think God is, he's everything but nothing at all. He's the warmness you feel when someone compliments you, the wind and the flowers in the field, the force that allows us to live on Earth and orbit the sun. People who use God for hate don't know of him, there is no "right religion" and not believing in him will not send you to hell.
TDLR: went from religious psychosis to believing in God even more lol