What do you think about your funeral?

[LastFlowers]

Well in my country only 9 people are allowed in funerals due to covid. I feel I need only 4, really. But if I could attend my own funeral I would like lots of people to come to see their reaction, it intrigues me. On the other hand, I wouldn't want their nasty comments and thoughts about me taking my own life polluting my funeral. My family is allowed to feel this way for a while. And I certainly don't want my old classmates or acquaintances to ever find out I died. I don't want my name to be dragged around those people, especially those that didn't do me good.
I don't really care about the ceremony itself, I just would like to be buried in a specific cemetery, but I found out they no longer bury people there.. This cemetery is downtown, close to some of the best memories of my life. Close to a house me and the person I love used to live. Close to the life I used to live and the person I used to be

Old classmates and acquaintances...yea, those are some of the last people I would want the news getting around to as well.
I am requesting no formal announcement, no obituary (or notice of death), no wake, no funeral, just burn me to ash. Also, I want any one who will find out to keep my damn name off social media, I hate that whole charade. I'm of the age where it might not be insular to the family and may get around to those who I would never consider family (but are trying to make their way in.) I really wish I got this over with years ago, before a bunch of attention seeking nosy bodies-who need to attach themselves to anything relevant-got within too few degrees of me.

 

[AE2021]

Just a direct cremation and no notifications or services of any sort. My one and only friend has agreed dump my ashes in a beautiful marshy natural area that I like.

 

[_Kaira_]

Don't really want one. As far as I'm concerned, they can do whatever they want with me once I'm gone however they see fit.

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

Cremation, then have my ashes sent to the military cemetary where my husband's ashes are inurned. They will put me in with him at no charge. All these years of paying taxes, at least I will get something in return.

As for a service, NO NO NO!!! Only one person, I hope, will even have to know I am dead -- the one who is executor and beneficiary. Someone has to do the paperwork, at least.

 

[Kbeau]

I want to be buried in a mausoleum and have a huge fireworks display for my funeral. Just kidding. Cremate me and toss my ashes in the nearest dumpster. Peace out..

 

[booray]

I don't want a funeral, but I know that my family will insist on one, and I suppose that's ok because funerals are for the living. My friends are scattered all over with very few close by, so I don't expect that it will be more than just family attending. I want to be cremated and don't really care what they do with my ashes, but I know that my mother will probably want to bury them with my father's in the cemetery where she tends to his gravesite. I don't want an obituary because I don't want my name in the news ever again after what happened when I was arrested two years ago. There is a horrible story on the internet about me that is the first thing that pops up when you google my name and is a big reason why I wish to ctb. It has some factual information, though highly sensationalized by Fox News (they disclosed to the entire world that I'm HIV positive!), but it also contains lies concocted by the police in order to demonize me because I'm gay. So the last thing I need or want is news of my suicide to serve as my legacy alongside this unsavory story. Let people speculate as to the cause of my death but I don't want it disclosed or talked about. I think it's tragic that this is the way I have to leave this world, but I truly feel that I have been left with no other choice.

 

[whenlavaflows]

my parents are muslims and for muslims, they bury the body directly into the ground with a sheet wrapped around the body.
but because i have tattoos (and cause of death suicide) i doubt i'll be allowed to be buried in a muslim cemetery.

also i don't think any of my friends would show up because my parents don't really know my friends or know how to get into contact with them.
i'm going to figure out how to send out emails on a planned date/time so my friends / ex are aware of what happened and leave my parents phone number so if they want to talk to them they can.

because of covid and how bad it is in my area, i don't even know how funerals are being done right now.
yeah as an ex muslim myself, i don't know how this will play out at all...

as a Muslim ( or a former muslim idk )
i don't even want to think about it
it's so scary for me

yeah as an ex muslim myself i also don't want to think about it because i truly don't know what my parents are gonna have to do

 

[highndry]

direct cremation, already arranged

 

[loopylou]

I have told my relatives I don't want any form of funeral. I have yet to write a note to my oldest brother. Here in the U.K. funeral costs fall on the oldest sibling of the family. I don't want to burden him with debt. So no funeral, no wake. Cremated without a coffin.

 

[JigsawFeelin]

Thanks to you I will accept nothing else.

 

[AikiDragon]

I have thought about my funeral a lot, but never while in the acts of being suicidal. I think walking though cemeteries is peaceful I also like to google names and text to find out who people were (which is the whole point of memorials to begin with). Because, of these reasons I will be buried. I also like knowing the fact of where I'll be buried.

 

[life-eternal]

I want my body to be thrown in the middle of the ocean. No cremation or nothing.

 

[Shadowrider]

I always joke about wanting a Tibetan sky burial, but really I just want the cheapest, most expedient thing possible. I'm enough of a burden in life, I don't want my death to cause additional inconvenience. Just leave me to be eaten by coyotes or something. Ideally I'd want my organs donated, but generally CTBing precludes that, so maybe donate my body to science instead and then at least I can be somewhat useful in death. I also don't want any kind of memorial service or even people being there when my remains are disposed of, but at that point it's irrelevant what I want. Funerals are for the living, not the dead, so I'd leave it to the discretion of whoever cares enough to bother. Mostly I'm curious about how people would react, if at all.

You know what? If this was a realistic option, I would choose it. I just love the thought of sky burial - let the coyotes and/or the vultures do the thing (vultures are among my favourite birds, actually).

The other thing I like very much is the Zoroastrian equivalent, the dakhma - Towers of Silence. If only this practice was in use to-day.
Being an animal lover - and having a thing for vultures, specifically - makes me fascinated by the idea.

It's very good to read your thoughts about wanting to be at least somewhat useful in death. I have exactly the same thoughts! Also, about wanting to have the cheapest and most expedient thing possible. Thank you for speaking from my heart!

Yeah, the only possible way of being able to donate your organs to science is a botched suicide attempt - so that they consult your family if they might pull the plug.
(This was the case when the young software developer Bill Zeller died: he tried to hang himself but due to communicating it online, they tried to save him. But he was already braindead, so there was no point in keeping him physically alive.)

It would also be nice to disappear so that my body would never be found - maybe nobody would even assume I died! This way, there would be no funeral expenses either.

(I have many reasons for not wanting cremation, but the most important of these is the energy it demands, and the fact that they need to do it in two circles - to prevent further air pollution. This is not economical or ecological at all. Using up so much energy just to make me disappear and nonexisting?)

 

[imsorrythatimhere]

I'd like to be cremated, and have my ashes just thrown out into wherever, but I don't think my parents would do that for me. If I do ctb, (which is sort of inevitable), I guess I'll write that and hope for the best. I've actually never have had anyone I've known irl die before, so thus I'm unsure of what my family thinks of when it comes to funeral arrangements.

 

[SheJumped]

I want people who chose to celebrate. I do not one anyone crying looking at my body in a box.
I want people to have a night where they drink, eat and be social (not any time soon due to covid and still a pipe-dream due to personal reasons).
Last and final act, cremated and ashes released in the ocean.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

I can imagine maybe one third of you to not mention hurt of people left behind and that the funeral might be for them. But nearly everyone?

 

[hellodarkness]

I've asked in my will that, if my body is viable enough, that it be donated to the university medical school. I don't want a funeral because (a) my BIL's funeral was traumatic for our niece and I don't want that for my kids and (b) I don't want my husband to have to pay for that.

 

[Bedrock48]

I actually put a decent bit of thought into my funeral, whether it happens in a year or 50 years. Planning it gave me something to focus on for a few hours during lockdown.

I want my death and funeral to have as little impact on the planet as possible, maybe even benefit it. Going to be buried in a natural burial site within a beautiful patch of woodland. No enbalming, no headstone, just me becoming one with the woods. Carried out on a hand bier, if my friends and family respect my wishes I think it will be amazing. I want it to be as pleasant of a memory as possible for those who turn up.

 

[BlackCatTalk]

No one is going to attend, they are not interested in me now that I am alive, less dead, well they do not give a shit here, which is funny, food is a better topic than someone who actually has a bad time

 

[UberYeets]

On to the next one - Jay Z

 

[neitherherenorthere]

@Shadowrider I'd never heard of the Towers of Silence before, that's very cool! You reminded me of a National Geographic article I read a while back about Torajan death and funerary practices. This article is good too. They way different cultures react to death is so interesting.

I guess I could try to botch my suicide perfectly so that I end up braindead, but leaving a note that says "please remove the noose at exactly X PM so my organs still work" seems a bit silly :) Since you want to minimize the risk of being rescued when you CTB anyway, I think it's entirely possible for your body to never be found, or at least never be identified. Even if there's nothing to bury, people will probably want some sort of memorial service and a grave marker, so there might still be at least some funeral costs even though it would still be much less expensive.

@Bedrock48 That sounds like a lovely way to do things. I've always liked the idea of returning to nature... having a tree growing out of me seems much preferable to a tombstone just sitting there. You should check your local laws about disposing of human remains though, since I think dead people are considered a biohazard. (Although if this is happening in the middle of the woods, who would find out anyway?)

 

[D11FER]

I have requested cremation and no service. My life is not worth celebrating, however my death will be.
my ashes I want spread In any woodland

 

[Bedrock48]

@neitherherenorthere Exactly, as much as I love traditional graveyards for the aesthetic they just feel a little too 'industrial'. Idk if that's the right word but it's the best description I can find.

I'm my country at least, natural burials are completely legal which is pretty neat. I've heard some are a little dodgy but most follow codes of conduct to ensure the environment is protected. Works more or less the same as regular graveyards but everything's done by hand and no permanent markers can be left. Over time, the Grave site just gets reclaimed by nature and I kinda love it.

 

[CatabolicSeed]

I have attended two funerals relatively recently (both happened right before covid hit the U.S.), as my grandmother and great-grandmother both passed away last year. They were both typical Jewish funerals, almost identical despite being from two different sides of the family. I think they even used the same funeral home (biggest Jewish funeral home where I live). So I have a pretty good idea of how my funeral will be: basically the same thing but with wearing masks. And people will probably be a little sadder, because my death will be more of a shock and I am so young.

 

[enuff]

I've wrote in my will I want a direct cremation. I just hope my family respect my final wishes. Half of my ashes to go to my children and I want the other half scattered in Cornwall. I love that place.

yup you got a will, so do i. good move. glad to recommend to everyone, write a will. even if you got nothing to give away, you still write one so your wishes and intentions are followed, and not the state law and local lawyers, ykwim

so i wrote in my will to cremate me and scatter my remains in the Nearest Ocean.
and no funeral and no obit.

 

[Georgiana Darcy]

Whatever's left of my body will be laid outside of the official cementary but still on the site, like they do with people who suicide in my country. A few family members will be attending, no friends, I have a few but they aren't genuine and won't bother coming. Everyone will act like my life was amazing and full of potential, they will probably claim they never saw it coming, although I've told them numerous times I would be catching the bus one day.
Personally, I want my ashes to be spread in a nice place - fire completely erases everything, just like I want the memory of me to be erased

I feel the same way. No big funeral, no grave, just any memory of me being erased.

 

[RedHarlequin]

I will let my family decide what they find the best. Personally I would like the ashes to be scattered in sea as OP said, but I think it will be hard on my mom to not have a place to visit

 

[LittleJem]

I'm thinking about this ATM. I have kind of asked someone I know if they will discuss my funeral/last wishes with me, but it might be too much for them.

If they don't want to 'do' my funeral, then I think i want someone else to kind of do something online in case a few close people want to come. I am thinking of writing something or a video that could be played to wish them love and also say that I am so relieved to have CTB.

 

[D11FER]

Pure cremation ! No service ashes to be scattered in a woodland. My life should not be celebrated my release should be x

 

[mirko]

I wish to be cremated but knowing my parent they'll bury me. Lucky for them I saved enough money to cover the expenses.