Discussion What do you think about this? [Reddit Post]

[figcitylightscookie]

Original Reddit Post

OP's best friend committed suicide and left a very mean suicide note. OP found it before the parents and has hidden it ever since. What do you think about this? Is it fair to the deceased friend? What would you do in OP's situation?

I honestly would be so pissed if someone hid my note after I was gone, but also, I'd be dead, so...

 

[wiggy]

Fun little utilitarian x deontological dilemma. Personally, I'd be on board with hiding or destroying the letter.

 

[roommate]

Yea that feels like deciding between two evil's.
I cannot hide stuff from others, it will come out one day anyways.

I think I would have given it or discussed with the other friend about what to do about it.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

Tricky situation, I'd hate to be in OP's shoes.

If the friend was a curmudgeon who just tended to be mean by nature, then the parents probably got used to it years ago and the note might still be comforting and help find closure.

If it was more out of character I would be more hesitant about passing it on to family. What good would it do? People write mean things to others on a whim all the time, and it damages the relationship, but as long as you're still alive you can apologize and try to repair the damage. When it's your final words before your death, it has a huge impact and there's no going back.

The final consideration is that OP doesn't know about everything between the friend and his family. There might be parts of the note that are very meaningful to them that other people wouldn't notice. So maybe the best thing to do is just hand it over and wash your hands of the situation. If they hang on to the note it will only weigh on their conscience indefinitely.

 

[JesiBel]

It's a complicated situation.

If she left a note, it's because she expected it to be read by the recipients. I think it's better not to interfere in family matters... and to respect the wishes of the deceased.

Sometimes playing the hero is not a good idea. It would be like erasing the "meaning/truth" of her death.

 

[Forever Sleep]

That's a massively tricky dilema. I probably would lean towards doing what the OP did and hide the letter from them. Depending on your beliefs I suppose, I don't think revealing the letter would make any difference to the deceased person's life. Whatever damage had occurred had already been done. It's maybe possible the parents were already blaming themselves anyway. So, it would feel horrible to just continue that blame fest.

It would depend though I suppose. If the family had actually been abusive, maybe they would deserve it but, if it's that they didn't understand so, weren't much support, I imagine that could be said of quit a few families that aren't actually meaning to be malicious. Obviously again, if they were massively neglectful and there was a sibling that may well be going through the same, it may save them to share the note.

I also wish I hadn't been born but, I wouldn't want my Dad to know that. What good would it do? Not like he can go back and delete the mistake.

Plus, the fact that the note was under their bed and not in plain sight makes you wonder if they did 100% want it to be seen.

 

[slinkey10]

Original Reddit Post

OP's best friend committed suicide and left a very mean suicide note. OP found it before the parents and has hidden it ever since. What do you think about this? Is it fair to the deceased friend? What would you do in OP's situation?

I honestly would be so pissed if someone hid my note after I was gone, but also, I'd be dead, so...

Respect the persons last wishes - disclose the note. !
Whats the point if the person killed themselves and there true feelings wernt heard - its our/some ppls last chance to voice...

omg we have become so anti honesty, adverse to what someone might say... might be tooo contraversial.... sticks & stones , words can never hurt me. ... cliche

 

[slowdance]

The deceased person doesn't have to deal with the fallout from the note but the living people do. I don't think it's positive to hide the note but I don't think it's immoral either. The thing about dying is that you let go of any control of anything that happens in the land of the living. Last wishes are just wishes

 

[brokeandbroken]

Original Reddit Post

OP's best friend committed suicide and left a very mean suicide note. OP found it before the parents and has hidden it ever since. What do you think about this? Is it fair to the deceased friend? What would you do in OP's situation?

I honestly would be so pissed if someone hid my note after I was gone, but also, I'd be dead, so...

I mean are we so naive as to not believe some amount of suicidality comes from anger? Why is it a surprise. Fuck i mean if I end up ctbing got to be honest I'm going to be livid. I'm already livid just having to think about it. I mean aren't we supposed to rage against the long goodnight? Either they had pain that no one cared about or even worse they had pain they didn't feel like they could tell anyone about. Yeah i get the anger.