God or anything related to religion is simply a fictional concept designed to brainwash people, the reality is that existence is just a horrific and tragic mistake, there's no deeper meaning or purpose behind any of this, existence is just unnecessary suffering and senseless cruelty all for no reason.
Existence could never be a "gift", suggesting such a thing disgusts me, to have the ability to exist in this hellish reality is a curse to me, it's a result of replusive pronatalism where delusional humans lack awareness, continuing to procreate as a result of their selfishness. The afterlife is a fictional concept as, to die means to cease existing, leaving this world returns one back to the ideal state of permanent non-existence where they are finally free from everything and wishing for suicide will always be perfectly logical in this dreadful world, it's irrational wishing to delay the inevitable just to suffer more and more, none of us are obligated to wait for death.