Discussion What do you think about suicide hotlines ? #49

[MeltingBrain]

i've actually been working on a hotline for psychology related experience, their training is really sort of formulaic and it's honestly more depressing because i know 99% of the time i'm not doing any long-term good and honestly i don't think it even does any short term good half the time. it's good for stopping impulsive attempts in theory but there's always the things about having to call the police and just. man. can't wait to get off of this. i've also called them myself a few times and the ones that don't try to give advice are good, it's nice if you want to feel listened to but honestly if i could i'd recommend this site way more for feeling heard, because of the risk of getting police called on you… yeah, imo it's just a band aid and the majority of people need more than a band aid but there's nothing else you even have to give.

What kind of problems do people calling generally have ?

 

[sannoji]

What kind of problems do people calling generally have ?

without giving too much detail, my hotline isn't suicide only, so some calls are about more generalised mental health like eating disorders, PTSD, basically all sorts of things. some of them i feel like i can make more of a difference on than others, a lot of people do just want someone to listen to them. but yeah, even if you can dissuade people from impulsive attempts, i think my own experiences have made me realise that often they don't have much support to recover which you simply can't do much for over the phone. simply, if suicide hotlines are to be useful, i think they need to be part of an effective network that can provide more than temporary relief, the reliability of which i haven't had much personal success with.

 

[alltoomuch2]

Yes, its true. A hotline is the lowest position on the Mental Health Industrial Complex totem pole. It's staffed with people who could care less and largely have to follow a script. Some of them might 'care' but it will eventually be regimented/beaten out of them through their professional training IE hazing. Even if a Mental Health provider of any type 'cares' they are forbidden by law to do anything about it. It's why the MH system is a joke; it's not a real relationship.. EVER

That may be true where you live but certainly not in the UK. In the UK they are very often people with lived experience who want to help other people. They are certainly not gathering experience for their own progression.

 

[sannoji]

That may be true where you live but certainly not in the UK. In the UK they are very often people with lived experience who want to help other people. They are certainly not gathering experience for their own progression.

can confirm that at least, i'm in UK and a decent proportion of my training group was volunteers, quite a few of which who have used the helpline at one time or another. i can't speak for other countries but for here i'm confident that the majority of people i trained with are at least well-intentioned. even those who are doing it for experience are often in that field in the first place because they want to help. (two genres of psych student, in my opinion. i tend to regard the ones who are here because of personal struggles with more respect.)

 

[itsnigh]

I've used them a lot the last few months. Therapy takes months on a waiting list where I am and they were my only option during desperate nights where I prayed things could be different. They're so underfunded I think is the core issue.
In the very limited time they gave me, they didn't really want to talk to me, it was just trying to pass of other resources to me instead of actually talking with me.
Plus the resources were always the same ones and either didn't apply to me and I'd get rejected by them, or were ones I had already applied to and take months to get an appointment. It ultimately just made me feel even more lonely. I guess when you're desperate you really just want someone to say something that is going to feel like the world could change and I understand they can't do that for you. But to come away not feeling heard or acknowledged, and feel even lonelier, that definitely shows the priorities aren't really there imo

 

[Exhausted-and-Alone]

It's really a mixed bag with hotlines. There was one time I got connected to a woman on the other line and I can definitively say she did help me that night.

I drank half a handle of 70 proof in a night and was trying to get the courage to ctb with my gun. From what I can remember she was very empathetic and compassionate, she urged me to put the rum away, and to put the gun away. And honestly I can't remember any specifics of our conversation because I was wasted, but I do remember leaving the call feeling much better than I had before. She never called the cops on me, she did urge me to go to the hospital, which is fair. I can't blame her for that, but I do appreciate her making me feel heard and respected.

Other times they've either lied to me and called the police on me (I'm a double minority) while I was drunk and armed with a gun. I didnt want the cops to be called for obvious reasons and I'm thankful that somehow, despite my inebriated state, I was able to secure my gun away in my safe before saying "hi" to the cops. That's the only time they've actually sent the cops my way, but they threaten it a lot. I swear, if I call them and I start crying they'll push to call the cops, if I tell them I've been trying my coping skills but they're not working they'll push to call the cops, if I was really stupid and told them I ran out of my meds and haven't gotten them refilled they probably won't even ask if I want a mobile team, I'll probably just get one and a petition with it.

If you're unlucky it can be incredibly traumatic and dangerous. But if you're lucky it can help make tonight just a little bit better, maybe help you stay alive just a little bit longer.

 

[EternalLight]

I'm sure many of the people on those lines do what they do out of the kindness of their hearts, but they're mostly useless in my personal experience. All they can do is listen to you, which I suppose can be helpful to some people at times, but as they have no idea who you are, there's no feeling of warmth and support. Talking to wildlife is more therapeutic to me. In many countries, you also need to be very careful what you say, as if you slip up and even remotely suggest that you've been thinking of removing yourself from the Matrix, you can have state enforcement agents knocking on your door and have to explain away to them the non-crime you may or may not have committed lest you be detained in an extralegal prison.

 

[needthebus]

they are awful

with 988, they make you do a required suicide risk assesment during the call and if they don't like the results they send police to go kidnap you and hold you in a locked mental ward

they also the ability to triangulate/gps the call and determine the owner of the phone, so they can send police extremely fast to fuck you over



you are not allowed to skip the risk assesment during a 988 call and if you tell them you don't want to take it, they start asking the questions anyway, completely disrespecting any boundaries you have

as someone who was the victim of sexual violence, it doesn't help when the supposed "helpers" won't respect my boundaries because they don't care that i'm saying no, im not willing to do that

if you are hospitalized for mental illness, you can end up with a 20,000 or 40,000 hospital stay bill and be in a much worse of position than you were before. if you had a sudden break-up and briefly felt like ending it, you may end up really intent on ending it after dealing with poverty, homelessness, and misery caused by financial exploitation of the mental health industry. 988 will not pay those hospital bills, help you buy food, or keep you cell phone bill paid. if you call them back, however, they are happy to force you to get locked up for another 25,000 stay.

i would highly recommend never calling unless your objective is to be confined to a locked mental ward and you don't care at all about suffering

emotional comfort and understanding and empathy are not the priority when you call. instead complying with their official government rules is the number 1 objective, and they follow a script with the calls and risk assesments and required hospitalizations that the government created

Actually most hotlines are volunteers either getting experience or work hours for a professional license. They are nothing more than a feeder system for therapists and psychiatrist. They also can and will call the cops at the slightest provocation. You WILL be taken to a hospital, against your will by several large men with guns (police). It's an utter waste of time.

my experience is this is completely accurate

i think it's even likely a resume-builder when they call police on people because then they are able to say they've had people hospitalized in job interviews

988 is a trap for the gullible and naive who still think most of these jerks aren't vipers out for a meal

 

[enditplz]

Anyone who calls a suicide hotline still has hope and isn't ready to ctb, so in those cases I think they can be helpful. I personally can never imagine myself reaching out to a stranger to talk about my plans cause I know there's nothing they can say to change my mind.

 

[sunsetting]

Good if you're not deep/decided about ctb.
Waste of time/hilarious otherwise.

 

[MeltingBrain]

if you are hospitalized for mental illness, you can end up with a 20,000 or 40,000 hospital stay bill and be in a much worse of position than you were before.

This is sad and dystopian.

 

[identitycrisis]

I have never called one but I can't imagine calling one either. I find them pretty useless because my issues are more deep rooted than a call can ever solve. Only a minuscule percent of people must be committing CTB because of impulsiveness. Most suffer for a long time or have given it a lot of thought. I don't have any evidence to back this up other than intuition. But maybe I am wrong .
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#49
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i think they're bs from my experience if you couldn't get help outside of the call they have nothing to offer

 

[guineapiglover8503]

it REALLY depends. I have never had a good experience with the 988 hotline even tho some have. The trans lifeline tho is the best hotline that I know of and it is wonderful. they talked me out of it because that wasnt the method i wanted but i was really about to do it and i impulsively called them and they helped talk me out of it. I donated 50 dollars to them last time I was super drunk and I am happy I did. they are a wonderful group and gave me the courage to try and take care of myself. not all suicide hotlines are great but there are some really good ones

 

[Malfunction]

Not interested in being patronized by anyone with no experience in what I'm dealing with.

Unless these calls can lead to solutions, I see no point. (I'm of course speaking for myself).

I'm glad there's at least an option for anyone wanting it however.