someuserhere
uncertain
- Jun 26, 2023
- 3
I've been thinking about Ctb. Yesterday I bought paracetamol, and I was thinking about combining it with alcohol, so the enzymes would "breakdown".
But I really don't know if I wanna be dead, like chosen to be dead.
I don't know if I really want to be dead. I feel such a loathing for myself that I don't want to be that character (no, I can't change that, I'd damn well like to). Anyway, whenever I think about it, I just think about the attempt and how afterwards, I will wake up in a hospital and my parents will be more understanding and I will be helped. I am already aware that paracetamol is not one of the most effective suicide method. But maybe I choose it exactly because it gives the possibility to "save" myself. I don't know what I want, I need someone to tell me to do it and thats a good thing to do, idk. Tell me what u think about it..
But I really don't know if I wanna be dead, like chosen to be dead.
I don't know if I really want to be dead. I feel such a loathing for myself that I don't want to be that character (no, I can't change that, I'd damn well like to). Anyway, whenever I think about it, I just think about the attempt and how afterwards, I will wake up in a hospital and my parents will be more understanding and I will be helped. I am already aware that paracetamol is not one of the most effective suicide method. But maybe I choose it exactly because it gives the possibility to "save" myself. I don't know what I want, I need someone to tell me to do it and thats a good thing to do, idk. Tell me what u think about it..