What do you guys think the "others have it worse" nonesense?

[FadingDawn]

About people who claim "well, suicidal people don't have it that bad, they're just privledged crybabies -- some people are starving, etc; so why do they complain? So why dont u jest get on with working and donate some money to a random charity," etc

 

[sserafim]

It invalides our suffering. It's the oppression Olympics. Just because someone else has it worse doesn't mean that your situation isn't bad. You're justified to feel the way you do. It's okay to not be okay

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Low effort bs in an attempt to invalidate your own struggles for the sake of highlighting that others have it worse so you should be grateful that you have your problems at the expense of someone else having it much, much worse but by that logic then the only person who should be in any position to complain about their problems is the person who has the most problems out of anyone alive right now.

 

[FadingDawn]

It invalides our suffering. It's the oppression Olympics. Just because someone else has it worse doesn't mean that your situation isn't bad. You're justified to feel the way you do

Agreed; it's quite disgusting and shameless

 

[thewalkingdread]

an attempt to invalidate your own struggles for the sake of highlighting that others have it worse so you should be grateful

Exactly...

Its just an unempathic "alcoholic blend" of Toxic Positivity with Enforced Gratitude shoved down one's throat.

 

[iloverachel]

Depends on how they say it
Some might say it to make you feel better about your situation
Others say it to invalidate our struggles

I think it's not a good thing to say in general
I remember talking to someone about being depressed and they were like talking about how some people are starving or having limbs blown off in war. That just makes me feel worse thinking about those others who have it worse. Seeing others struggle is saddening

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's BS. Suffering is suffering regardless what it is. It's always subjective. When someone contemplates suicide the suffering must be already unbearable.

 

[Eudaimonic]

It's nonsense. They are simply citing examples of even more extreme suffering as if that somehow devalues the extreme suffering many of us experience.
Suffering is suffering. Mild suffering is still morally reprehensible.

 

[EmptyHeaded]

I agree with what everyone else here already said; it's nonsense. However, I can't deny that it applies to me.

 

[Time4Peace]

Logic isn't equal to empathy. Ever.

 

[astonishedturnip]

Well damn, is that starving kid in Africa gonna come over here and unfuck my brain chemistry?

All it does is bring shame and discomfort to the person who's having those feelings. "Like I didn't feel bad enough already, now I know I'm a selfish piece of shit..." Maybe it's effective on people who are inherently non-suicidal and going through a frustrated period but who say they will CTB without intent -- but for the majority of cases it's so stupid. Not everyone has the same level of resilience. Besides, isn't the oft-repeated quote, "Be kind, for everyone is going through a horrible struggle"? Suddenly they're not...?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Other people do have it worse than me and that's why I need to kill myself in order to stop consuming resources that would be better spent on them instead of being wasted on me.

 

[sserafim]

I agree with what everyone else here already said; it's nonsense. However, I can't deny that it applies to me.

Sometimes I feel like I don't actually have it *that* bad, and that my reason to ctb is stupid. I just want to avoid being a slave to the system as well as getting old. I don't know if that's "worth" killing yourself over

 

[Dark Moon]

Well my situation isn't as bad as starving kids in the third world countries but I'm still suffering regardless. It's kind of ignorance from them.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

I think people would do better not to volunteer comparisons like that unless they are therapeutically educated, and if they were they'd know better than to spout off just because they feel a certain way about somebody else's business.

In my own private internal world I do sometimes benefit from comparison. I still have to get through every day between now and my death and I don't want to die miserable. I want to die well adjusted and at peace with my life, and comparison is a practical coping mechanism to use but yeah it's not going to rewrite my entire life story, it'll never give me extra willpower or repair the damage to my impulse control. It's offensive for people to offer a simple coping mechanism as the solution to existential malaise. Like thanks for the super obvious suggestion bro.

 

[derpyderpins]

About people who claim "well, suicidal people don't have it that bad, they're just privledged crybabies -- some people are starving, etc; so why do they complain? So why dont u jest get on with working and donate some money to a random charity," etc

If someone else having it worse means I should be happy, then logic dictates anyone else having it better means I should be sad. So, yeah, stupid.

 

[sadman710]

It's been used on me. The ones who say it are usually trying to deflect having any real empathy towards me. Usually the types who will screw me over too.

 

[FuneralCry]

Nobody should be obligated to continue existing no matter what drivel people like that say. In my case I'd prefer to not exist no matter what, there's no point and value to suffering so senselessly in this futile, evil existence. The fact that there is no limit as to how much one can suffer makes me despise existing even more and make suicide feel very rational for me, it's tragic how anyone has to suffer as a result of the abomination that is existence.

 

[F@#$]

Others have it worse? That's too bad. Doesn't make my misery any less.

 

[pleroman]

It speaks volumes doesn't it?
The great gratitude you should be experiencing in life is that although you are miserable and suffering constantly, it could actually be worse. That's a great reason to keep going, right?

 

[EmptyHeaded]

Sometimes I feel like I don't actually have it *that* bad, and that my reason to ctb is stupid. I just want to avoid being a slave to the system as well as getting old. I don't know if that's "worth" killing yourself over

It's worth it if it's worth it to you. For me it's that I actually don't have it bad at all, yet I do nothing at all and then just ctb.

 

[Ligottian]

Some people have it worse than me. Others have it better. How does that have to do with my own personal suffering?

 

[glossble]

It only makes me feel worse because other people are suffering too lol

How is this even supposed to help suicidal people other than to make us feel guilty?? ( •᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ )

 

[Abyssal]

Obvious. Also annoying.

You hear that shit here sometimes too, it's why I keep my personal shit secret because gatekeepers of suicide get high off making you feel inadequate.

 

[tbroken]

It is bs and doesn't even deserve an answer. Also the perception of pain is a relative thing, loosing 10K may be a problem for you and not for me and vice versa.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

A lot of people have it better than us, too. So there is no point to that argument.

 

[melancholymallory03]

About people who claim "well, suicidal people don't have it that bad, they're just privledged crybabies -- some people are starving, etc; so why do they complain? So why dont u jest get on with working and donate some money to a random charity," etc

Stupid point , irrelevant argument. Non sensical and a sign of ignorance and lack of compassion for others. Agree with the fellow in the comment section ,

 

[Orangee]

Suffering should never be a contest, just because someone is suffering more, doesn't mean we are not allowed to feel suffering. It's completely illogical and unempathetic to say that. It wont make anyone's suicidal thoughts go away, and in the end only serves to help whoever is saying it relieve their frustrations and selfish needs.

 

[thenamingofcats]

It's a losing game. They just don't want to deal with a suicidal person.

 

[anxiousmess0471]

I've noticed that some people use the "others have it worse" thing to convince you that your life is worth living. And others use it to make you feel guilty about feeling a certain way. Either way, it's not beneficial and makes most people hate themselves even more. It's also incredibly invalidating. It doesn't make sense that in order to gain any sort of sympathy, you have to be in the worst condition possible. You shouldn't have to experience those things in order to be able to feel bad about yourself. Everyone lives their own life and has their own struggles. There's no need to point out someone suffering as being worse or better than that of another person. People who say things like this truly have 0 compassion and self awareness. Life is not a game where we outcompete each other to see who is more successful or who is more miserable.