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What do you feel like you "need"?
Thread starterMint Floss
Start date
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Safety, a home, love, partnership, hope for a positive future, friends, community, feeling like my presence in this world matters in any way, restored mental health, erased trauma...
A family that actually cares about my well-being, a support system, friends, financial security, the ability to see the world itself in a more positive light.
financial security and more faith in humanity. I just don't have the willpower to keep swimming upstream when it looks bleak. shoutout to the hedonic treadmill.
I need somebody to feel close to. Somebody who I could be confident cared about me and loved me. But until i continue being mostly alonr and increasingly isolated, i dont see my mental state improving.
A better world, a world where things make sense, and there are avenues to actually fixing problems. A world where we don't dehumanize one another and look at each other as cattle. Since that is impossible, nothing can help.
This current world as it exists, may as well be hell. Maybe we'll spawn in a better place next time.
Like a few others here, I think it'd have to be a time machine. But even if I had one of those, I wouldn't be able to take back the regrettable decisions that I made and the hurt that I caused in this timeline. Theoretically, there could be some sort of memory erasure in the way of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but neither would that take back my decisions, just free me from their memory. Although the memories exist as a righteous and natural consequence to my actions, so it'd be like escaping justice after having committed a crime.
to feel accepted and cared for, for real. to be as loved as everybody else. equally, not always being skipped over for the other friend they like more. to be able to transition and not be judged.
As childish as it sounds, my mother. I wholeheartedly believe that if she stopped being so abusive, I would find the will to push through life. This is the same woman who told me she didn't believe in abortion, so that's the only reason I am here. So yeah.
My mom could save me. And maybe a copious amount of weed and Smirnoff.
i want to be seen. understood. someone to connect with.
i want to be able to depend on the fact they will always be there. i want to not be alone at the end of the day. i want someone to share all my joy and share all my sorrow with. someone to simply share my life with. someone to get through all of it together with.
i think then i would be able to say it's all been worth it. everything i've been through. everything i will suffer through in the future. it's all worth it if i can share it all with someone else.
but i will never have that. i've only ever felt that sort of companionship and understanding and connection with my sister. but she can't be in my life like that. so i will never know companionship. i will always be alone. it will never have been worth it.
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