Discussion What do you fear most about death?

[BrainSplatter]

I've realised that it's not the idea of death itself that scares me – it's the possibility of a slow or painful end, and the uncertainty of what comes after. Imagine dying only to be reborn, forced to relive the same miserable life over and over again. All I really want is peace and comfort from my life but what if death just brings more suffering? I don't think it will, but I see so many people talking about heaven, hell, and how suicide is a sin, and it's made me question things I never really considered before. But now that I'm sitting here thinking about it, it feels like my mind is just creating irrational fears to try to protect itself. None of this has been proven one way or the other, so why even fear it?

I'm planning to CTB in the spring, after my son's adoption, but I feel ready now – and that's why this is so hard. Grieving the loss of my son while he's still alive is unbearable, and dealing with that alongside BPD makes it even harder. I can't afford to act impulsively. My drug use is a problem –I've always used recklessly, but lately I keep overdoing it and ending up in A&E. There are only so many times I can say yes it was recreational when they keep questioning if it was intentional OD. I need to stay on track with the plan, with no changes to my CTB date under any circumstances. I know I'd benefit from having a partner, but I'm struggling to find one. UK peeps be hiding lol.

 

[itsgone2]

Good set of choices. Results interesting so far. Hopefully more participation

 

[TAW122]

I've more/less made peace with the concept and idea of 'death' even around late adolescence and especially during adulthood. If I had any fear about death, it would be the process of dying and the suffering associated with it. However, that could be overcome by suppressing my SI (Survival instinct, self-preservation instinct), understanding the method of choice including the execution of said method, and also planning carefully. I trust logic and science as well as the research about method efficacy to give me confidence that I will succeed and likely not suffer horrendously.

 

[burninghill]

I was never scared about what came after death until I really tried to kill myself and suddenly I became terrified. Imagining just some kind of non-existence is just something I can't wrap my head around and that scares me. I used to believe in reincarnation but my brain won't allow me to do so anymore.

 

[SomewhereNew]

I've realised that it's not the idea of death itself that scares me – it's the possibility of a slow or painful end, and the uncertainty of what comes after. Imagine dying only to be reborn, forced to relive the same miserable life over and over again. All I really want is peace and comfort from my life but what if death just brings more suffering? I don't think it will, but I see so many people talking about heaven, hell, and how suicide is a sin, and it's made me question things I never really considered before. But now that I'm sitting here thinking about it, it feels like my mind is just creating irrational fears to try to protect itself. None of this has been proven one way or the other, so why even fear it?

I'm planning to CTB in the spring, after my son's adoption, but I feel ready now – and that's why this is so hard. Grieving the loss of my son while he's still alive is unbearable, and dealing with that alongside BPD makes it even harder. I can't afford to act impulsively. My drug use is a problem –I've always used recklessly, but lately I keep overdoing it and ending up in A&E. There are only so many times I can say yes it was recreational when they keep questioning if it was intentional OD. I need to stay on track with the plan, with no changes to my CTB date under any circumstances. I know I'd benefit from having a partner, but I'm struggling to find one. UK peeps be hiding lol.

I just can't fathom God punishing every person for ctb because a lot of great people have done it, honest good people. It's not the ultimate sin imo and should be forgiveable if we somehow do face judgement and it's not just the end of our consciousness entirely similarly to as before birth.

 

[itsgone2]

As of right now, physical pain and suffering is number one in this poll. It's been discussed a few times on here but is that what survival instinct really is? A fear of pain? Maybe it's not all that complicated.

 

[Liebestod]

Nothing, maybe it's because I have a quick and essentially painless method but I've made peace with death and I'm confident there's no afterlife.

 

[FuneralCry]

What I fear is suffering in this dreadful, torturous and futile existence for decades longer, it terrifies me how a human can suffer for so long in this existence I just always saw as a mistake with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, existence really is an abomination to me and for me ceasing to exist would be the only peace.

It's all I see as positive, it's all I see as desirable and I just always suffer so much from how I cannot just have the option of a guaranteed death with no more pain and no more suffering with no risks of it going wrong and leading to way worse torture and suffering, I wish I could erase this existence, all I want is peace from this dreadful existence.

 

[Forever Sleep]

For me- I'm a whimp. So, pain and suffering scares me the most. In terms of a suicidal death though- failing the attempt- leading to potentially more pain and suffering and having to live on with those consequences troubles me even more. Pain and suffering that at least ends is one thing. If it drags on for years more, that's something else.

 

[avalokitesvara]

The fact that life and consciousness marches on. Even though this "I" dies, all the countless other "I"s will continue being born and being conscious and suffering and causing suffering. Blotting "myself" out is obviously desirable but for me I want to stop there ever being more "myselves", I want consciousness over and done with for good. I don't see it as anything other than terrible and knowing it is inescapable gives me the feeling of Hell. This is for eternity and there's no way out.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Imo people are confusing Death and suicide and living. There can be no pain in Death. 1 micro second after the brain dies a human ceases to exist for all time.

Yeah a suicide can be painful but also a natural dying. A nembutal suicide cannot be painful so you reach Non-existence forever painlessly which is better than months of painful dying fron cancer

To me Death = Non-existence forever is the only escape from a hell a trillion times worse than one can imagine

So why would I fear the savior, the escape?

There can be no pain in Death.

Why would I fear the complete absence of pain problems torture suffering bad memories?

All these horrible things including pain can only happen in life not if you don't exist

None of us suffered even one second for 13.8 billion years before we we born

Example a human is alive and so can be tortured burned alive and that will hurt unfathomably

They can try to burn or torture a corpse a second after Death but the person Dead won't feel it because they are dead they don't exist anymore


For me life is more similar to this fictional scenario than what they portray as a beautiful sacred important gift: I am kidnapped by a gang held prisoner as a work slave physically tortured every day. Why would I not want to escape ? Why would I fear getting out if I see an open door and a way out. Then u have a fellow slave telling me to enjoy myself in this prison for example the food they give. I would say to the fellow slave "no Fuck enjoying that food the torture outweighs the food by a lot , the "enjoyment" is not even worth the work nor the situation even without the torture. I'm getting out of this hell u can stay if u want to but don't tell me what I have to do or should do"

 

[ScarletTanager]

My fear of death is most of 2 things. 1. Failing an attempt. Just imagine if a failed attempt meant ending up paralyzed, revived into a life of being unable to move. One time I was 17, doing my homework, and I decided to do some drugs. I guess I didn't really want to focus, but it's hard for me to remember my thought process because it's been so long. I fell on the floor and my breathing was shallow and my arms and legs got numb to where I couldn't move. I've always been afraid of ending up immobile permanently like this from a suicide attempt.
The second reason I fear death is for what comes afterward. If anything, would it be bad? Even if a trillion years from now? Would it make a difference then though how I died now? What if rebirth is instantaneous in a different dimension or universe? What if it is like ground hog day and I'm born again as me? My mind is playing tricks on me, I know, I'm terrifying myself. But my fear of any potential existence that may come after death is what is mostly stopping me from kms right now!
And I like fresh air. I like to breathe and be in nature. But I know I kind of have had a bad life. I'm mostly just afraid of what comes afterward, like would it be some sort of punishment? Worse than some of the things that happened here in this life? Wouldn't it be foolish to give up something bad for some existence even worse? Am I being paranoid or irrational?

 

[birthdayboy]

For me- I'm a whimp. So, pain and suffering scares me the most. In terms of a suicidal death though- failing the attempt- leading to potentially more pain and suffering and having to live on with those consequences troubles me even more. Pain and suffering that at least ends is one thing. If it drags on for years more, that's something else.

This is EXACTLY it for me. The fear of failure leading to pain, coupled with the fear of potentially being put into an even more vulnerable position where I can be hurt even more by the people in my life. That's why I've been careful to choose a method with almost a 100% success rate. I feel confident now that I won't fail.

I realized some time ago that I shouldn't fear death itself. I lose consciousness when I sleep, and that's nothing to fear. My consciousness just ceases to exist, and that's a good thing.

 

[kuroshimi]

I am somewhat scared of nonexistence, since when I die I will be unable to experience things but life will continue.

 

[ObsidianWatcher]

I fear the pain that I would cause to those who knew me. Even in the times that I've come closest to exiting, that feeling always pulled me back

 

[bunn]

not existing is kinda scary and to think i wont be able to see peoples reactions to me dying!! ah so sad.
thats kinda why i wanna fail in my first try then after i can die more peacefully

 

[Siamese Believe]

Definitely the pain, my method is gonna be quite painful but fast. Gonna have to just tough it out. People have died so much more painfully than this.

 

[marksofdespair]

The only thing that scares me is thinking about how my mother will take it. Considering she's severely unwell herself and I'm the only person in the world who truly cares for her but.... if it's that hard for her I really hope she just ctb too. I do wonder what happens after death, but I don't fear it. Unless I'd be forced to watch my family suffer from the news as a ghost.

 

[Bitch With An Apple]

That it might not solve anything

 

[lpdsvm]

I just can't fathom God punishing every person for ctb because a lot of great people have done it, honest good people. It's not the ultimate sin imo and should be forgiveable if we somehow do face judgement and it's not just the end of our consciousness entirely similarly to as before birth.

I am not sure but if there is God - it means he gives some people their own illusionary world in which they are what they are not. For example, I think I am irreplaceable, but I also know - one phone call and I am out. No one cared about me. The world was doing just find without me. If someone with the Big Beautiful Phone ahaha - out of the industry or worse if someone gets mad because of me.
Let's say a girl that is about over 40 but expects to be treated as she is 18 and all the money yachts and houses will soon be hers (I observed a similar behavior with my own eyes).

I doubt a lot. But once I get the right answer it will add up to what I already consider the green light for getting SN: running out of all money and other crucial things. I am done then

 

[badatparties]

That it might not solve anything

This, so much this, the unknown is the scariest part.

 

[quickHedgehog69]

idk why but non-existence is like the main thing keeping me from ctbing like forever nothing

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I realized some time ago that I shouldn't fear death itself. I lose consciousness when I sleep, and that's nothing to fear. My consciousness just ceases to exist, and that's a good thing.

Sleep feels so good. I wonder if it's really unconscious--we have dreams, right? And there's the half-conscious state before and after. But there's also the skipping forward in time, which is basically the same as being put under for surgery. There are just comfy dozy bookends on it.

I know death isn't quite like sleep. I won't feel relaxation or relief. But death is OBVIOUSLY better than some states of life. The concept "putting him out of his misery" makes sense for people and animals. Everyone would choose a painless death over a slightly longer life with torture. Death is clearly better than suffering.

But still, I hesitate! Dammit, man, I want this to be over!

 

[madameviolette]

This, so much this, the unknown is the scariest part.

Yes no successful suicidal individual has come back to tell whether it has resolved their problems. I have the same fear

 

[badatparties]

idk why but non-existence is like the main thing keeping me from ctbing like forever nothing

For me, that is the best part. Way scarier things to worry about tbh.

 

[ghosted1]

I'm just fearful that once I do my method, I will still be conscious enough to be aware of all the injuries... even if it's just for a millisecond I don't want to see the gory aftermath...

 

[shampoo sniffer]

Ending up in a worse place